Under My Skin
by ALLingames
Summary: AU. Katniss and Peeta in modern day. Katniss and Peeta are just excited for the end of senior year so they can live the lives they always planned for. But an unexpected connection may force them to reveal their darkest secrets. M for later chapters.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own THE HUNGER GAMES. It all belongs to Suzanne Collins.**

Chapter 1

**Katniss POV**

The sun was beating down on my neck causing small beads of sweat to dip down underneath the collar of my t-shirt. I unconsciously twisted my braid in my hand, flipping it forcefully over my shoulder. I scowled at the groups of people who were littering the field and track. I wasn't used to sharing the space with others and I was just contemplating forgetting my daily run and going home when I heard a shout that made my head whip around.

"Hey! Watch out!"

A football was whizzing through the sky on a direct path towards my head. Reflexes took over and I reached out to snatch the ball from the air and cradled it gently under my arm. I stood there for a minute at the edge of the track, awkwardly frozen in place, as football players in muddy shoulder pads gawked at me. Then suddenly, out of nowhere, a boy I had never seen before with blonde hair and shockingly blue eyes stood in front of me, a wide grin plastered on his face.

"Nice catch," he said, eyes bearing deeply down into my own.

I tilted my head up to look at him. The boy was of medium build, though still more than several inches taller than myself, with broad shoulders and a round face. His hair was matted down with sweat, sticking to his forehead and curling up in odd places. His eyes sparkled in the sun and it seemed as though I could swim into the depths of them.

He cleared his throat and my cheeks flushed in embarrassment as I realized I had been staring. A small crease appeared between my eyebrows as I pondered this. I had never stared at a boy before.

"Anyway, sorry about that," he said, motioning toward his teammates. "I know I'm a small target but you'd think that a quarterback would have some aim."

I shrugged and pushed the ball back into his chest. It honestly didn't surprise me. My school's football team had never been good. I was actually impressed that the quarterback even had the arm strength to throw the ball to where I had been standing.

For some reason the boy remained standing in front of me and after I few tense seconds I felt obliged to say something. "So you're a wide receiver."

For a moment, the boy looked surprised, clearly impressed that I knew something about football. He quickly shook his head. "Nah, tight end. Maybe linebacker. I haven't decided yet."

I nodded, unsure of what else to do.

"What do you play?"

"What?"

"What sport do you play?"

"I don't," I snapped a little too harshly.

The boy raised his eyebrows.

"I just come here every morning to run," I explained, unsure of why I was bothering. "I forgot that today was the start of preseason for everyone."

"Oh." The boy shifted so that he could tuck the football under the same arm that was clenching his helmet. He then stuck out his other hand toward me. "I'm Peeta."

I glanced down at his hand but chose to ignore it. "Katniss," I said.

After a minute Peeta seemed to realize I was not going to take his hand, so he reached up to run it through his hair instead. "So, Katniss…"

Hearing my name pass through his lips sent a jolt through my body awakening me to where I was and what I was doing. I seemed to have unconsciously drifted a few steps closer to Peeta during our brief encounter. The football team was huddled together a few yards away, clearly staring at us and whispering what I was sure were inappropriate jokes. I immediately took a step back.

"What is it that you want, Peeta?" I hiss.

"What – what do you mean?" Peeta was obviously confused about my sudden change of tone.

"I mean why are you still standing here talking to me? Don't you have some pointless football drill you should be running through?"

Peeta finally let his annoying grin fall. His mouth dipped down at the corners while he pressed his lips together tightly. "I'm new," he finally said. "And considering it's my senior year, it's not like I exactly have a lot of time to meet people. I thought I'd start introducing myself now."

Of course, I knew this already. The town was small enough that everybody knew everyone's name and face, even if you had never spoken to them before. And even if that wasn't true, I was positive I would have known this boy anyway. He seemed to be a human magnet.

"Are you a senior?"

I nodded before I remembered that I wanted this conversation to end. "Peeta, let me do you a favor."

His eyes lit up at my words and I had to remind myself of why I didn't want to talk to him. I honestly didn't understand why he was prolonging this conversation. Did he think I was in desperate need of a friend? Did I look so pathetic standing there at the edge of the track that he thought he was doing me a favor by speaking to me? Because I didn't want a friend. I didn't need one. After all, Peeta was right. He didn't have a lot of time to get to know people. One year and then he'd be gone. Along with the rest of the people in my grade. Off to some big time university to get a first-class education. And I'd be staying here, at some dead end job, barely scraping by. And they'll all forget I even existed. So why bother getting to know them? Everyone leaves. I accepted that a long time ago.

"You don't want to be my friend," I told Peeta.

"Why would you say that?" Peeta asked nervously, almost as if I guessed right. He didn't want to be my friend. That only strengthened my resolve.

"Because I'm the loner girl who never smiles and you're the jock who is sure to have people lining up down the block just to say hi to you."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means that you don't need me as a friend and you don't want me as one either."

Peeta scoffed. "I think I get to decide that for myself, don't you think?"

"No, you don't." I sighed. "Look, we're not supposed to be friendly. We may go to the same school now but we are not in the same world. So stay in yours and stay far away from mine. Otherwise, you'll lose everything."

"Katniss, I don't think – "

"Well, I think," I said, cutting him off. I didn't understand his persistence. But he'd see soon. Once classes started, he would soon realize that I was not the type of person he should associate himself with. He would stay as far away as possible, like the rest of them. "I don't want to be your friend, Peeta. And talking to me will only make your life more difficult. So now do yourself a favor and just stop trying."

"All right, Katniss," Peeta resigned. I watched as he turned and jogged back to his teammates. While he tossed the ball back to the quarterback, I backed away and decided to forget my morning run and go home. As I walked away, I though back to my short yet confusing conversation with Peeta. I knew that I did the right thing. I didn't want to get to know this boy. But why did I feel like I just made a big mistake?

**Author Notes: This is my first fan fiction but I promise this is going somewhere so stick with me. **


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

**Peeta POV**

Katniss Everdeen. Was it too soon to say I love her? Probably. I mean, I had been watching her all summer after I spotted her one morning in town, but I had only spoken to her once and she was anything but kind. But somehow that only made me want her more. After that morning, I looked for her everyday at the start of practice. I assumed she would be back. She did say she ran every morning. But I was without luck.

On Saturday morning, I finally had the courage to ask one of my teammates about her. It was the last day of preseason, which meant that everyone was exhausted from the heat and being overworked for days. I sat down on the bench next to Tyler, who was currently lacing up his cleats in preparation for the morning drills. "Hey, Tyler."

"Hey, man," he grunted in response, not even bothering to look up from his shoes. "What's up?"

"Nothing, nothing," I said. "Just…remember that girl I was talking to the other day?"

"What girl?"

"You know, dark hair, grey eyes. You remember. She caught that awful pass Alex threw. I think she said her name was…Katniss."

At this Tyler froze and sat up. He gave me a questioning look, his eyes narrowed and eyebrows scrunched. "Yeah," he said hesitantly.

"Have you seen her lately?"

To my surprise Tyler let out a small laugh. "No, of course not. Why?"

"I don't know. I haven't seen her since. And she told me she runs here every day so…"

"Does she? I'm surprised."

"Why would you say that?"

"Well…" Tyler paused. "She doesn't normally go where there are, you know, people. Actually, that conversation she had with you was probably the longest I've ever seen her talk to someone. She just doesn't know how to deal with other human beings."

"Maybe other human beings don't know how to deal with her," I said under my breath.  
>"What was that?"<p>

"Um…why do you think she's like that?"

Tyler immediately looked away from me and his hands started fidgeting with the hem of his jersey. I waited for a minute, expecting him to answer, but when he didn't I cleared my throat. "Do you know why she's like that?"

Tyler sighed. "I don't know. I mean, not really." He then leaned forward slightly and continued in a whisper. "She didn't used to be like that. She used to be… I don't know…normal? She's wasn't the most popular girl in school, but she was alright. Laughed, had fun. But then everything changed when her dad left."

"Why did her dad leave?"

"Well, the official version is that he got a better job offer somewhere else. A place where he couldn't bring his family. But the unofficial version," Tyler moved an inch closer, "is that substance abuse finally got the best of him."

"Substance abuse?"

"Yeah. Alcohol, drugs. I mean, it was definitely no secret that this guy was a bum. He got busted enough times for it already. I guess, one day, he just got out of control."

"Did he overdose on something?"

"No, at least not that I'm aware of. He just left, in the middle of the night, no explanation."

My heart broke with this new information. I couldn't imagine waking up one morning to find that one of my parents just disappeared. It was not exactly like I had an ideal home life, but I had never been abandoned. No wonder Katniss was reserved. Her spirit was broken.

"How do you know all this?" I asked Tyler, my voice somber.

Tyler shrugged. "It's common knowledge. In a small town like this, scandal travels pretty fast. No one has secrets."

I involuntarily gulped at this statement. Because I had a secret. One that I hoped no one in town would discover. People from my last town found out about it. It was why we had to move. I didn't want people's pity.

"So people just stopped talking to her after this happened?"

"She stopped talking to us!" Tyler defended. "Like I said, she became a different person. It wasn't anyone's fault. It just happened."

I wasn't expecting it, but Tyler actually gave me a lot of good information. A lot of useful information. I felt as if I knew Katniss better now. And her story only made me want to get to know her more. She didn't deserve to be alone. She didn't deserve to be treated that way. My mind immediately jumped forward to Monday, the first day of school. I was sure to see her then. She couldn't escape me forever. I decided I would talk to her on Monday.

"Don't," Tyler interrupted my thoughts.

"Don't what?" I asked innocently.

"I know what you're thinking," Tyler began. "Just stop it. She's not worth it. I know she's good looking and everything, but she's a social pariah. On Monday, you'll see. She'll just make life difficult for you. And it's your senior year in a new school. You haven't even met the other girls yet! Trust me, they're much nicer than Katniss."

"Yeah, okay."

Tyler sighed and stood up, grabbing his helmet. He started to head towards the center of the field where the rest of the team sat, stretching. He stopped after a few paces and turned to look once more at me. "She won't want you, Peeta. As your friend, trust me. Don't bother with her."

"Yeah, okay," I said one more time, grabbing my helmet and following Tyler onto the field, but I wasn't listening. Little did he know I was planning to do the opposite.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I do not own THE HUNGER GAMES. It all belongs to Suzanne Collins. **

Chapter 3

**Katniss POV**

The first day of school had never been my strong point. It was full of the two things I hated: people and school. I just didn't see the point. At least, not for me. Tests and essays and report cards were not going to get me where I needed to be. It all just took up my time and kept me from working, making money that my family needed. So I did just enough to get by. I'd graduate at the end of the year and be done. Thank god.

But in the meantime, I simply had to sit through mind numbing classes and overcrowded lunch periods until the end of each day. Right now, I was not doing a very good job. I pressed my fingers into my temples and willed the dull throbbing in my head to go away. A fly buzzed tirelessly in its fruitless attempt to get through the glass pane of the window on my right side. I fixated my eyes on it, like a lion stalking prey, longing to swat at it.

"Bad morning?" my lunch mate and sole companion at this school, Madge Undersee, asked. I used to wonder why Madge always hung around with me. Not that I minded. She was the only person who knew how to stay off my nerves. But it was weird until I understood why. She was an outcast too. No one would talk to her because her dad was the mayor. No one would talk to me because my dad was the opposite.

"You have no idea," I sighed.

"It didn't seem so bad to me," Madge chided while dipping a fork into her salad. Luckily, this year, Madge was in most of my classes. It was nice having her sitting besides me, even if we both didn't talk much.

"That's because you have no where better to be."

Madge frowned. "It's because I don't have your bad attitude," she snapped.

I picked at my soggy sandwich guiltily.

"Besides," Madge continued, her voice dropping back to her mellow tone. "If you paid attention for five minutes, you might have noticed that what's going on around you isn't so bad."

"What are you talking about?"

"There was a boy staring at you in math class today." A small smile grazed Madge's lips.

"No, there wasn't."

"Yes, there was. The new kid. I guess you haven't scared him off yet," Madge said playfully.

I glared at her. Unfortunately, I did notice that Peeta was in our math class this morning. But as soon as I saw him walk in and take a seat in the same row as me, I decided that class was better spent staring out of the window. I was determined not to make eye contact with him. Not after that embarrassing conversation we had on the track a week ago. If Peeta was staring at me, it was probably to determine how deranged I was. I wasn't going to let him find out.

"There was no one staring at me," I repeated.

"Whatever you say." Madge's eyes landed on something in the distance. "Speak of the devil."

"And who are _you_ staring at?" I asked, not bothering to turn around.

"Hi, Katniss," said a voice from over my shoulder.

I sighed as I looked up. Peeta was standing there with that same smile he wore the day I almost got crushed by the football.

"It's nice to see you again," he said politely.

Once again, his powerful blue eyes stunned me. Could eyes really be that blue? I forced myself to look away towards the ground. One of his shoelaces was about to become untied. I wasn't going to tell him that though. I didn't say anything.

"Well, I guess I'll see you later?" His voice intoned a question as if expecting me to respond. I started to wonder if something was mentally wrong with him.

I remained silent.

"Well, bye, Katniss." He turned and made his way out of the cafeteria, jogging slightly in order to catch up with a few guys from the football team.

As soon as he was out of sight, I turned and faced Madge once again. Her mouth was slightly opened in shock, but as soon as she realized my attention was back on her, she recovered. "You want to explain that?"

"Explain what?" I asked, though my blush probably gave me away.

"How do you know Peeta Mellark?"

"How do you know Peeta's name?"

"How do _you _know his name?" Madge countered.

I rolled my eyes, trying not to give away the fact that she had struck a nerve. "I talked to him," I mumbled.

"You _talked _to him?" she parroted.

"Yes. Okay? It was no big deal."

"Yeah, sure. No big deal. You talked to him?" I moaned at her refusal to drop the subject. "And you didn't claw his eyes out?"

I tucked my chin to my chest and bit my lower lip. "I might have. At the end."

Madge laughed. "So why is he talking to you today, eyes intact?"

"How did you know his name," I avoided her question.

Luckily, Madge understood this meant the conversation was over and I was not going to tell her anything more. She decided to respond to my question instead. "I'm not impervious to gossip, you know. Even if I don't do it myself. He's all anyone will talk about. His family moved here so his dad could open a bakery in town. And apparently, he is some sort of wrestling champion. The school board is very excited about him. They think that a championship would finally bring money in for the school."

"Good for him," I stated.

That was the end of our discussion of Peeta Mellark. In fact, we didn't say much else for the rest of lunch. As soon as we finished our respective meals, I stood and bade my friend goodbye. It was one of two periods I did not share with Madge. She had a free period while I headed to American History. I was a minute late so I quickly entered the classroom and slid into the empty seat in the back. Right behind a boy with blond hair.

I silently cursed myself. Could I not avoid him? It seemed as though he followed me wherever I went. But fortunately, I was quiet on my feet and Peeta did not seem to have noticed my entrance. At least, he didn't turn around and look at me.

At the front of the classroom, the teacher, a large middle aged woman with eyes too small for her face, was speaking with a nasally voice that rubbed me the wrong way, like nails on a chalkboard. "So if you were expecting an easy first day of class, you were sorely mistaken. This is called an advanced placement class for a reason. I'm here to prepare you for that test," she droned on as I tuned out.

I stared at the blond haired boy in front of me. His head was bent over his notebook, his pencil moving furiously across the page. I didn't know what he could possibly be taking notes on, but it was hard to ignore the movement of his back muscles through his thin t-shirt. The room heated up rapidly and I began to twirl the end of my braid nervously around my finger. What was wrong with me? I had managed to ignore everyone in this school for the past seven years. Why couldn't I handle ignoring one more person?

"So lets discuss your first project of the year," my teacher cut through my thoughts. I jumped slightly, forgetting where I was for a second. The class's demeanor sank at the statement. "You'll need a project proposal completed and handed in to me by Friday." Although it was silent, the whole class moaned collectively. The teacher seemed to sense it. "Now, I don't want you all to be discouraged. I'm letting you pick your own partners. Find one by tomorrow. Class dismissed."

I was on my feet and out the door before any else responded. I found my way to my locker and I huffed in agitation as I leaned my head against it. Even more than I hated spending seven hours in school, I despised group projects, especially when Madge wasn't in my class. Every past experience had been spent with suppressed irritation for both me and whomever I was working with. And this project sounded huge. It was due in two months and we already had to begin work on it. Maybe I could convince my teacher to allow me to do it own my own.

Suddenly, there was a tap on my shoulder and I spun around. There he was again. Peeta Mellark. I turned around and walked away quickly. To my displeasure, he followed me, keeping up with my pace with ease. "I saw you in class today," he said, not deterred by my attitude.

"Well, there's a shocker," I said sarcastically.

"Yeah, I guess not," Peeta said, smoothly stepping into my path and blocking my way.

I stopped and crossed my arms. "Don't you have a class to get to?"

"No, this is my free period." Oh crap. This was my free period as well.

"What is it that you want, Peeta?" I asked, using the same words from the other day.

"I was hoping you'd be my partner for the American history project."

I narrowed my eyes. Why was he doing this to me? "I'm sure there is someone you'd rather partner with."

"Nope."

"What about Tyler. You were sitting with him."

Peeta raised his eyebrows at my observation, but didn't comment. "He wants to work with Hayley. So what do you say?"

"No," I said.

"Why? You have a better offer?" Peeta smirked.

I sighed and closed my eyes. Truth was, I didn't have a better offer. This was probably going to be my only offer. And what was the harm? Maybe if I spent some time with this mysterious boy I'd learn what it was about him that made me pay attention. Then I would learn to fight it and go back to being ignored in peace. "Fine," I said.

Peeta's smile seemed to grow ten times in size. It made his face light up and his jaw line more prominent. I shook my head at his excitement, not really sure why this made him so happy.

"Great," he exclaimed. "We can start after school tomorrow."

"I have work," I mumbled. Suddenly I felt embarrassed. Judging by the state of his clothes and the brand new backpack that hung carelessly from his shoulder, Peeta was clearly well off. Well, at least much better off than my family was. He'd probably judge me if he knew the extent of it.

"Oh," Peeta said, his voice quiet. "That's going to make things more difficult."

"Yeah…"

"Tuesday's the only day I don't have to work at the bakery."

"You work at the bakery?" I asked, shock flooding my voice.

"Of course," he said, his eyes suddenly warmer than they were a minute ago.

"Well, in that case…" I hesitated. "Maybe I can see if I can get a later shift."

"Are you sure? I don't want to cause any problems."

"No, I'm sure it'll be fine," I replied.

"Good," Peeta said.

"Good."

Our eyes locked and a chill climbed up through my body from the bottom of my spine. I tried to catch my breath, but I didn't remember losing it. My heart pounded in my ears, blocking out the straggling students left in the hallway.

"So…" Peeta took a step towards me. I immediately wanted to take a step back but I forgot what moving my feet felt like. "I'll meet you by your locker after school?"

"Apparently."

Peeta smiled. "See you tomorrow, Katniss." He swung his backpack more securely on his shoulder and walked off down the hall.

"Tomorrow," I whispered after his retreating figure.

**Author Notes: Thanks so much to all who reviewed. You have no idea how much it means to me. Unfortunately, don't expect an update every day. I'll try to update as soon as possible but next week is hectic for me.**


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

**Peeta POV  
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The day could not have ended soon enough. Each minute felt like an hour and each class dragged on like it was pulling a ten-ton boulder behind it. I fidgeted in my seat all day, unable to focus on anything besides trying to catch Katniss' eye. Without success.

That didn't dampen my spirits though, so when the final bell rung signaling the end of the day, I practically sprinted to Katniss' locker. I spent the few extra minutes I earned trying to catch my breath and deciding how best to greet Katniss. For some reason I suddenly couldn't figure out where I normally held my arms. I shifted awkwardly from foot to foot trying to wipe my sweaty palms on my pants indiscreetly. I finally chose to lean casually against the lockers, hoping that when Katniss arrived she wouldn't be able to spot my anxiousness.

My restlessness distracted me so that I didn't notice Katniss until she was already standing in front of me. My heart fluttered at the sight of her, so beautiful in a pale blue t-shirt that brought out the grey in her eyes. I loved her eyes. They were the one feature that Katniss didn't seem to be able to control. Their steely depths held the window to her emotions. If only she would meet my eye every once in a while.

"Uh, Peeta…"

My name sounded so good coming from her lips. I was so focused on it that I forgot to respond.

"Peeta, I need to get into my locker."

"Oh, sorry." I felt my cheeks redden in embarrassment as I sidestepped out of the way. I waited patiently as Katniss piled the books she needed into her tattered backpack. Once she straightened up, I smiled at her, wishing and dreading that she'd understand the true meaning behind it.

"Shall we?" I held my arm out to her. She rolled her eyes and stalked off ahead of me. I didn't really expect her to take it. But hey, a guy's got to try.

We didn't say anything as we exited the school building together and made our way towards the senior parking lot. I remained a half step behind her and watched her braid swing back and forth across her back. I had to fight an impulse to touch it. I could just imagine running my fingers through the silky strands. But now was not the time or place for thoughts like that. I refocused my attention back on Katniss and fell in place beside her.

"So your place or mine?"

Katniss did a double take and looked at me out of the corner of her eye. "What do you mean?"

"For the project. Do you want to work at your place or mine?"

"Oh. Um…would you mind if we go to your house?" Katniss bit her lower lip making my insides melt.

"Of course not. My parents will be at the bakery so they'll be no one there to distract us."

"Okay."

We had reached the senior parking lot. It was chaos like it was everyday after school. Shouts and laughs and cars jammed together vying for a position to exit. I stopped once I reached my car. "Where are you parked?" I asked Katniss. "You can just follow me home."

"I – I don't have a car." Her face turned bright red and she turned away from me. I immediately felt guilty. I didn't mean to make her feel uncomfortable and I hoped she didn't think that I cared about things like that. I didn't care if she had a car.

"That's no problem," I said lightly. "Hop in." I opened the passenger side door for her. She hesitated for a fraction of a second, but then glided smoothly into the seat. I smiled as I closed the door and ran to take my position in the drivers seat. Her scent had already infiltrated the small space. I inhaled deeply. She smelled of pine and freshly mowed grass. It was intoxicating.

My house was only an eight-minute drive from school so I barely had time to allow myself to appreciate the girl sitting next to me. She was absentmindedly drumming her fingers against her thigh and looked everywhere except over in my direction. I didn't mind though. Overall, this was the nicest encounter I had ever had with Katniss. I wasn't going to spoil it by demanding her attention.

Once I pulled into my driveway, she jumped out of the car before I had the chance to open the door for her, but she waited for me to lead her to my house. I graciously unlocked the front door and motioned for her to enter. I let out a breath when she did, feeling as if I finally did something right, but she didn't make it more than a few steps inside. I watched her carefully as she scanned the interior of my home. I knew she felt uncomfortable here, but I was shocked to see her eyes glistened over with sorrow. I immediately felt the need to cheer her up.

"Make yourself at home," I said.

My voice seemed to flip a switch within Katniss and she quickly recovered into that unreadable girl that frustrated me. But I guess it was better than seeing her sad. I just wished that she'd feel comfortable enough with me to share her feelings. But I was expecting too much too soon. In time, hopefully she'd come to trust me.

I led the way into the living room and dropped myself onto the couch. Katniss remained standing in the corner. I saw that she was not going to make this easy so I stood up and grabbed her hand and dragged her to sit next to me. As much as I wanted to keep those small and calloused hands within mine, I forced myself to let go. I frowned as Katniss slid away from me.

"So, Katniss, do you need anything? Something to eat? Drink?" I asked quickly, realizing I wasn't being the most gracious host.

"No, I'm fine. Lets just do the project, okay?"

"Okay." My heart sank slightly. Her statement was a reminder of the real reason she was sitting next to me on my living room couch. And it had nothing to do with me. "Do you have any ideas on what you'd like to do it on?"

She frowned. "No."

"Well, what's your favorite part of American history?"

"I don't like any parts."

"Of course you do," I pressed. Why did she make it so difficult to get the smallest piece of information out of her? "You're in AP. That wasn't by accident. You must be interested in something."

She sighed and closed her eyes. At least she was finally taking my question seriously. After a minute of silence she responded, "I like the Civil War."

I smiled encouragingly. I knew this was a big step for her. Admitting something about herself to me, even if it was something as trivial as that, was huge. I decided not to press my luck. "Good. We'll start from there."

I thought it would be good to do some preliminary research, so I dipped into my backpack and withdrew my laptop. Katniss stared at it as if it was something filthy and it was the second time today I felt like an ass. Of course she didn't own a laptop. But I simply moved over so that we could share the screen, pretending as if that was my plan all along.

We read pages on the Civil War in silence for a long while. I was having trouble concentrating. Her head was right by my shoulder making her scent, which was potent enough in the car, three times stronger. Not to mention our knees kept accidently bumping together. Every time this happen Katniss would immediately retract and I'd wish she'd let them touch for longer.

After Katniss yawned for what felt like the hundredth time, I snapped my laptop shut and turned to face her. "Are you okay?"

"What do you mean?" she asked, not meeting my eye.

"You're falling asleep on me," I teased.

"No, I'm not." She would have been more convincing if she hadn't yawned yet again.

"Why are you so tired?" I asked, genuinely concerned.

She paused, clearly deciding whether or not it was safe to reveal this information to me. "I just got up really early today."

"To do what?"

"Work."

My eyebrows scrunched in disapproval. "In the morning? What do you do? I thought you said you'd be able to get a later shift?"

She looked down to her hands that were tugging the hem of her shirt. "I lied," she mumbled. "I work on that horse farm. You know, the one past the pond? Well, work can start really early there but stables don't exactly stay open late. Besides, I need to get home to take care of Prim."

"Prim?" My curiosity peaked at the unfamiliar name.

"My little sister," Katniss said as the corners of her mouth lifted. Even this small half smile made her face glow. I took in every moment of it. I wished she always smiled and I was almost jealous of this little girl who had this effect on Katniss.

"You love her." It wasn't a question and probably didn't need to be stated, but I wanted Katniss to continue to share. Talking about Prim seemed to bring her out. It was also nice to finally discover what Katniss cared most about in the world.

"Yes. She's the best person I know. She's sweet and kind and innocent and cares way too much about everyone she meets." Katniss looked up from her lap. "That's why I don't like her being left alone at home while my mother's at work."

"What does your mom do?" I asked, hoping that the topic of her mother would be as helpful to me as talking about Prim was.

Unfortunately, Katniss' face quickly darkened. "She's a nurse."

I understood this meant that Katniss did not wish to discuss her. This was good though. I was learning things. Prim: good. Her mom: bad. I did Katniss a favor by switching the topic. "Well, I still wish you told me the truth about your job. I wouldn't have let you come this afternoon if I knew it meant you getting up before dawn."

Katniss scoffed. "Don't be stupid. We need to do this eventually and you said this is your only day off."

"I know, but – "

"Shut up, Peeta," Katniss cut off my protests. "So what exactly do we need to hand in on Friday?"

"Let me check." I dug through my backpack once again to find my notebook. I had written down the instructions somewhere. While I flipped through the pages, Katniss scooted closer to me and looked over my shoulder. We were closer than we were before and I had to blink several times to clear my mind. All of a sudden, her hand rested on mine, signaling me to stop turning the page.

"Wow," she breathed.

Her hand was gone but I continued to focus on the tingly feeling that remained from having her skin touch mine.

"Did you draw those?" She motioned to the pages of my notebook.

I nodded.

"They're amazing."

For a second, I wanted to laugh at how she thought my doodles were anything special. They were mostly just flowers I was practicing to ice on the cakes later in the day. But then I turned my head to look at her and it wasn't so funny anymore.

Her beautiful face was gazing down at my drawings so intently, it made my heart skip a beat. Her head was right above my shoulder, almost leaning on it. A stray piece of hair that must have escaped her braid blocked her eyes from my view. Without thinking, I reached out and gently placed the strand behind her ear. Her head snapped up at my touch and our eyes locked. A warm bubbling sensation exploded from the pit of my stomach and expanded over my chest, making it difficult to breathe. Her stormy grey eyes pulled me in and, before I realized what I was doing, I pressed my lips against hers, gently at first but then more demanding as my hand tangled itself in her hair.

Her lips were warm and soft. I was beyond all reason as I pushed her against the arm of the couch, my free hand sliding to the small of her back. There was no turning back at this point. I kissed her as hard as I could, savoring the moment until she got over the shock and came to her senses.

I felt her hands begin to move, gracefully traveling up my body and over my chest. Her hands suddenly clutched at my shirt, pulling me in closer. But as soon as I had realized this, that she might actually had been enjoying herself, her hands flattened on my chest and shoved me away.

I looked guiltily at her as we both tried to catch our breath, ashamed that I had lost control like that. I opened my mouth prepared to apologize, but she beat me to it. And I was shocked when she said the last thing I'd ever thought she would. "I have a boyfriend."

Then she ran out of my house leaving me in my sorrow.


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I do not own THE HUNGER GAMES. It all belongs to Suzanne Collins. **

Chapter 5

**POV Katniss**

Dammit! God dammit! Why did he have to kiss me? Everything was going fine. As fine as I could have hoped for anyway. I had made it into his house in one piece. We had sat and read articles on the Internet and I hadn't done anything cringe worthy in over an hour. And then he had to go ruin it. By talking to me. By getting me to talk back. By accidently showing me his drawings that were so realistic it was as if the images were flying off the page. As if I could grab the beauty he so meticulously planted on the paper. By brushing my hair away gingerly. By making me forget where I was and who I am and why I avoided situations like that. By kissing me!

The moment his lips touched mine it was as if every thought and worry I ever had ran from my body. All I could focus on was how gentle his lips were and how he smelled of vanilla and cinnamon and how warm and safe I felt in his arms. Before I knew it he had me pressed against the couch and I was clutching onto him as if my life depended on it. At this point, he had let out a soft moan, so quiet I wasn't even sure he realized, and my mind finally caught up to what my body was doing. I pulled away and tried to avoid his eyes. I could already tell that he felt guilty, that he thought he had taken advantage of me. But behind that, as much as he tried to fight it, I could see a small sliver of hope. And so I said the only thing I could think of because I honestly didn't want to tell him I didn't want him. I couldn't hurt him like that. And I wasn't even positive if that was true, which probably scared me the most. So I told him I had a boyfriend and ran away like a coward.

I wasn't exactly lying to Peeta. Maybe Gale wasn't technically my boyfriend, but it was definitely headed in that direction. I had tried to fight it, but then I figured what was the point? I loved Gale. He was my best friend and had been since I was twelve years old. We already took care of each other and he was in the same situation I was. He had to take care of his family too. He wasn't going anywhere. Unlike Peeta, who was bound to leave at the end of the year. It was best not to get attached. That was how you get hurt.

But how come I could never see these things coming? I was surprised the few times Gale kissed me as well. If I could only anticipate things then maybe none of this would have happened. Peeta or Gale. My brain was pounding in my skull by the time I made it back into my house.

I slammed the door behind me, which alerted my little sister to my presence. "Katniss, is that you? What's wrong?"

I composed myself before I rounded the corner to find Prim sprawled out on the couch, watching some television program I've never had time to watch. "Nothing, little duck," I said, sitting down besides her. "I just had a frustrating day."

Prim sat up, her blond hair and blue eyes only serving as a reminder of the boy I had just run away from. "Is that why you missed work?"

I raised my eyebrows.

Prim gave me a small smile. "Gale came by and told me. He was worried about you."

This did not cheer me up. On the contrary, it made my frown deeper and my guilt took hold in my stomach. I groaned. "I don't need Gale checking up on me."

"Katniss, that's not what he was doing," Prim scolded. She was never happy with my intolerance for people. She was compassionate and I was bitter. She saw the good in everyone. I barely saw anyone. We didn't exactly see eye to eye. "Just call him and let him know you're okay."

I smiled at her to ensure her that I was, in fact, okay. Prim was the only person I smiled for. "Whatever you say, little duck."

I left the room then, before the guilt and anger overwhelmed me. I ran into the room I shared with Prim, throwing myself down on the bed. The springs groaned in compliance with my weight. I rolled over and reached for the phone that stood on the nightstand. I didn't want to talk to Gale now, but having this conversation on the phone would be better than face to face. I wasn't planning on telling Gale about the kiss. But he was going to be mad no matter what I said. Gale, unfortunately, had a temper.

I laid on my back as I listened to the phone ring, counting the stains that decorated the ceiling and hoping that no one would pick up. But nothing seemed to go my way today.

"Hello?"

"Gale. It's me," I said quietly into the receiver.

"Catnip? What's wrong?" Prim hadn't lied. He was worried about me. It wasn't like me to disappear on him. I could imagine his leg bouncing up and down as he sat at his kitchen table.

"Nothing."

"Then where the hell were you today?" And just like that, his worry turned to anger, just as I knew it would.

"I had to work on a school project this afternoon so I took the early shift. I'm sorry. I should have told you."

"Damn right, you should have. How would I know you had a project to do? It's the second day of school!"

"I'm not the one who makes up the assignments," I snapped. This was the problem between Gale and I. We had similar personalities and we both got on edge too easily. It often resulted in unnecessary harsh tones.

"If you had told me then everything would have been fine."

"You don't need to know where I am 24/7, Gale. I'm a big girl. I can take care of myself. I'm not going to disappear on you like our dads did."

I immediately regretted speaking. Gale's dad had "left" when mine did. We had never talked about it, but we were probably the only two kids in the entire town who knew what really happened. It wasn't a subject to bring up lightly.

"Look, Gale, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that."

"No. You're right. You wouldn't do anything so stupid," Gale replied bluntly. "So how did your project go?"

He wanted to get away from that subject. I didn't blame him. "Not good," I sighed. "We will have to figure out some other time to finish it."

"We? Who's we?"

I went dead quiet. I just inadvertently brought up the subject I wanted to avoid at all costs. I began to panic. It was a smart decision to have this conversation over the phone. I was a terrible liar. Gale said my eyes gave me away. "Just some boy I got stuck partnering," I tried to sound nonchalant.

"Who?" Gale asked, an edge to his voice.

"Um…Peeta Mellark. He's new – "

"The baker's boy."

"You know him?"

"I'm not blind, Katniss. I go by that bakery everyday."

"Right."

The line was silent for a while. I couldn't even hear his breath, but that didn't surprise me. I replayed our conversation in my head. Besides for that brief and careless comment about our fathers, I said nothing that should warrant a negative response from Gale. I was starting to get annoyed. He had no right to be mad at me. Well, that wasn't quite true but he wasn't aware of that.

"Gale?"

"Catnip, I have to go."

"Okay. I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Yeah. See you."

He hung up.

I didn't sleep well that night. My mind was racing, one pointless thought leading to another. And every time I managed to drift away I would find myself back in Peeta's living room, his arms secured around my body. Only this time I didn't pull away. I let him kiss me and did nothing to stop his tongue from slowly entering my mouth. Luckily my mind wouldn't continue farther and I jolted awake. So I spent the rest of the night huddled on the couch, watching infomercials flash through the darkness.

I was dreading school the next day where I knew I would have to face him again. Avoiding him wasn't an option. He was my partner and we never finished our project proposal. I'd have to talk to him sooner or later. And I needed to apologize for running away with barely an explanation. So while I was braiding back my hair, I made myself a promise: I was going to talk to Peeta after American History.

The morning reflected my inner drama. Fog hung low over the streets, dulling the senses and blurring the lines of the sidewalk. I felt as though I was suffocated, choking on the smog. Arriving at school provided no relief. Because there he was, materializing out of the haze, waiting for me. I forced my feet to keep moving forward. I wasn't ready for this conversation but it looked as though I had no option.

"Hey, Katniss," Peeta said softly, closing the small gap between us. His hands were stuffed into his pockets and his shoulders were hunched over. He didn't look me in the eye, his head pointed to the ground. I felt this strange urge to smooth the crease that appeared between his eyebrows.

"Peeta," I said, slowly shaking my head. "I'm so sorry."

"You're sorry?" Peeta looked up. "_I'm _sorry, Katniss. You have no reason to apologize. _I _was the one who kissed _you. _I was the one who jumped you like some hormonal teenage boy who can't control his emotions."

"I should have told you I had a boyfriend," I argued.

"Why?" he asked, his voice firm. "We were just working on a project together. There was no reason for you to expect – There was no need for you to share that with me." He paused. "You should hate me."

I frowned. I did not like that he was putting this all on himself. Because he didn't really do anything wrong. Sure, I wasn't a normal girl who was going to date and fall in love, but he couldn't have known that. Just like he didn't know I had a "boyfriend." This was my fault for not explaining it to him. It was my fault for not knowing what's expected in certain social situations.

"I don't hate you," I said, emphasizing each word. And it's funny, because if it was any other guy I probably would hate him. But Peeta was like my sister. They both had the ability to win people over, even someone as menacing as me.

"Good," Peeta sighed. "And I promise, it won't happen again."

"We still need to work on the project – "

"I know. I just won't attack you again." Peeta smiled at me. "But I was hoping that maybe, if you forgave me, we could be…friends."

"Friends?"

"Yeah," Peeta's smile widened. "You know, someone you like and trust. I know the concept is new to you, but – "

"I have friends," I scoffed.

"You have _a _friend," he emphasized. "I'd like to be your second."

I didn't want to point out that he was wrong, that he'd actually be my third friend. It would only create unnecessary drama.

"_Friends?_" I repeated.

"Yes…" Peeta waited expectantly for my answer.

I wasn't sure if being friends with Peeta was such a good idea. As oblivious as I was to people, even I had to know that he liked me as more than a friend. I mean, I was there when he kissed me. And saying yes to being his friend would only give him false hope, hope that I would one day change my mind. Which wasn't going to happen. But for some reason, I couldn't find the will power to turn this boy down. He was too kind for his own good.

"Fine. We can be _friends_." Maybe if we hung out more, he'd get over this absurd crush he had on me. He'd find out that there were much better options in this school. I wouldn't even be sorry when he stopped hanging out with me to spend more time with his girlfriend.

"Great!"

The delighted expression on his face squeezed at my heart. I hated that I could make him so happy. But there was no turning back now. I was his friend and as his friend I'd show him that he was better off without me.

**Author's Notes: So I had trouble with this chapter because there was a lot I wanted to fit in it. Unfortunately, I couldn't. So next chapter is going to be in Katniss' POV too. Hopefully, it will be worth it because I'm very excited for the next chapter. As always, thanks to everyone who has reviewed and please continue to. It really encourages me to keep posting quickly and it simply makes my day :).**


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

**Katniss POV**

It was surprisingly easy being Peeta's friend. I was right on my first read of him. It was impossible not to like him. His spirit was infectious. His constant good mood made my school day much more bearable. He could carry a conversation with anyone, even someone as orally challenged as me.

We quickly fell into a routine. Everyday I found him waiting for me outside school and we'd walk to math class together. My heart always thumped heavily at the sight of him. He had offered to drive me to school each morning but I had refused point blank for many reasons, not least of which was the fact that Gale lived three houses down from me. We hadn't discussed Peeta since that phone call and everything had gone back to normal. I doubted that would be the case if he found out about how close Peeta and I were becoming. I hadn't even told Prim, which was another reason I'd refused Peeta's offer. I was not sure why I was keeping my friendship with Peeta a secret from her. Perhaps I was afraid of the question she'd ask. Questions I wouldn't have the answers to.

After about a week, Peeta gained the courage to sit with me at lunch. Madge's eyes bugged out of her head the first time he asked to sit down and gave me a knowing smirk when I said yes. But, of course, Peeta and Madge hit it off right away and she had ended up speaking more than I did. Now, Peeta sat with us two or three times a week.

We also sat together in American History, though not by choice. Our teacher told us to sit with our partners for the project. Peeta was the first in the class to move at her words. He slid smoothly into the open seat next to me at the back of the classroom, smirking as he did so. At the start of each class, he'd sometimes ask what I'd like for him to draw that day. I'd always respond with the same answer. "The forest." It was my favorite place in the world. On days at the stables when we didn't have to muck out the stalls, Gale and I would mount horses and ride the trails through the woods. Everything felt peaceful in there, all my responsibilities melted away. It was the only thing I ever did for myself, so I cherished it. When Peeta heard this, he needed to know every detail of my expeditions through the trees, so I whispered the descriptions of certain plants and animals and a glistening lake I discovered once when I ventured out on my own into his ear. And before I knew it, Peeta was creating my favorite place on the page, precisely as I saw it in my head.

I loved watching Peeta draw. The look of pure concentration on his face was invigorating. His eyebrows furrowed, his jaw clenched. Slowly his head would dip closer toward the desk until his nose was only an inch from it. Every once in a while, he would lick his lips and bite gently down on his tongue, examining his progress. And he could draw more than just nature. He could draw anything, from a football player about to make a forceful tackle, to an old fashioned bicycle lying lonely on the side of the road. One day, Peeta took me by surprise by presenting me with a drawing of myself as we walked out of the classroom. If the drawing wasn't in pencil I would have thought he simply snapped a photo of me when I wasn't looking.

"Keep it," he told me, forcing the paper into my hands.

"What could I possibly do with a drawing of myself?" I asked lightly.

"It doesn't matter," Peeta shrugged. "Just keep it. I made it for you."

"Thanks," I said while gently placing the page in my backpack. "It's really good, Peeta." I then did something that I rarely ever do. I smiled.

Peeta's eyes widened at my expression, his gaze not once wavering from my face. His reaction only made my smile bigger and I let out a small laugh. Peeta immediately followed suit, his booming laughs slightly shaking his shoulders. Soon the hallway was filled with our laughter, giving me a warm bubbly feeling in the pit of my stomach. From then on, I promised to smile more while I was with Peeta.

My favorite time of each day was the free period I had after American History. The free period I shared with Peeta. Because the weather was still warm, we spent the hour outside on a picnic bench in the courtyard with pathetic, wilting flowerbeds bordering its edges. After we finally finished our project proposal, Peeta had decided that this time would be spent getting to know me better. So in between our light discussions, he threw out random questions like what is my favorite color (green) and what is my favorite sport (football). In return, I learned the same information about Peeta. Orange, like the sunset and football.

"Football? Really?" I asked, surprised and pleased that we had a matching answer. "I'd think the wrestling champion would say, well, wrestling."

Peeta shook his head, his blonde hair flopping into his eyes. "No. It's always been football. Wrestling was just…" he paused, searching for the right word, "inevitable. With two older brothers always beating up on you, you're bound to learn how to defend yourself."

"_Two_ older brothers?" I said, filing away the new information. "I hope they didn't hurt you too bad." I internally cringed at the thought of a bruised and broken Peeta.

"No. It wasn't like that with them," Peeta replied while picking at a paint chip at the corner of the table.

"Where are they now?"

"College. My oldest brother is going to graduate this year."

"You must miss them."

"I guess I do," Peeta shrugged. "It's weird being the only kid in the house, but we were never close like you are with your sister."

For some reason, this broke my heart. Peeta deserved a loving family. I tried to rectify the situation. "Maybe you were. I mean, you're the younger sibling. Maybe they feel the same way about you as I do Prim."

"No, Katniss," he said, looking up at me pityingly. "You're protective of your sister. You take care of her. I was like a toy to my brothers. Something to have fun with when they were younger, but something they ultimately grew out of."

We sat in silence for a few minutes after this. Finally, Peeta withdrew a brown paper bag from his backpack and sat it on the table. His strong hands reached within the fathoms and pulled out a chunk of bread. He quickly handed it to me.

Peeta had been bringing me different bakery goods to try everyday after he learned that I had never been inside a bakery and couldn't answer his question of what was my favorite type of bread. He took it upon himself to get me to try every type so I could be sure of my answer. I was angry at first, but my resolve dwindled after the first bite of his delectable treats.

I plopped the unknown morsel into my mouth and chewed slowly, savoring the taste exploding over my taste buds. "Mmm," I moaned. "What kind is this?"

"Cheese buns," Peeta responded, a huge smile on his face at my reaction. "Do you like it?"

I nodded vigorously. "It's the best thing I've ever tasted."

Peeta chuckled. "I think we have a winner then."

And so it continued for a couple weeks, our dependable routine becoming more and more solidified. That's why it came as a shock to me when, in the last week of September, Peeta suddenly told me of a change in his plans. "I won't be here during lunch tomorrow," he said, quickly examining his apple before sinking his teeth into it.

I gave a quick look to Madge, whose eyebrows almost retreated past her hairline, before responding. "Why not?"

"I have to help prepare for the pep rally."

"Pep rally?" I narrowed my eyes in confusion.

"For homecoming," Madge supplied the missing link.

I groaned. Homecoming. I had forgotten about it. I wasn't particularly fond of the event. It was the only time of year that the school's normally lackluster student body sported school spirit with people hanging faded streamers in the hallways and wearing our school's colors of blue and orange to class. Then kids who couldn't tell the difference between a first down and a touchdown attended the football game, pretending that they gave enough of a damn to appear at more than one game a year. The entire event was fake and the enthusiasm was nauseating. So I had never attended. Not the game or the dance, which wasn't my scene anyway. Too many people.

"Why do you need to help?"

Peeta rolled his eyes. "Because I'm in it. I'm on the team, Katniss. Remember? That's kind of how we met."

"Right," I awkwardly said.

"Don't worry, Peeta," Madge chimed in. "We'll be fine without you for a day."

Peeta smiled graciously at her. He bit into his apple again with a resounding crunch and a speck of juice fell to the table. He gulped down the chunk in his mouth and looked at me out of the corner of his eye. "Are you going?" he asked slowly, flicking a broken potato chip across the table.

"To what? The pep rally?"

"To homecoming."

"The dance or the game?"

"Does it matter?"

I scowled at him. I didn't like when he didn't answer my questions. But then again, I wasn't answering his.

Peeta sighed. "Fine. The dance."

My heart rate rapidly sped up. It was customary to bring a date to the Homecoming Dance. It wasn't necessary. Plenty of people showed up alone or in a group of friends. But everyone on the football team was bound to have a date. I silently prayed that Peeta wasn't about to ask me. I had finally gotten used to him being my friend. I didn't want to spoil that by bringing up the elephant in the room. I would have to say no and he would stop eating lunch with me, stop spending his free period in my company.

"I don't dance," was the only answer I supplied.

Peeta nodded. "Well, you should at least go to the game then. It will be fun."

I frowned. I was expecting Peeta to put up more of a fight. I found myself wishing that he did. Didn't he care if I went to the dance or not? Didn't he want me there? It suddenly dawned on me.

"Are you going?"

"Huh?"

"Are you going to the dance?" I clarified.

Peeta turned his head toward me but his eyes didn't meet my gaze. Instead he looked past me and out the window. "Um…yeah. I'm going." He then added in a such a small voice that I barely heard him, "with Delly Cartwright."

I sat in stunned silence as my heart dropped into my stomach. Madge's eyes were travelling between the two of us swiftly, as though watching a tennis rally. Delly Cartwright was the captain of the girls' soccer team. An extremely popular girl who was the exact opposite of me. She was tall and curvy with bright eyes and blonde hair that fell in perfect waves past her shoulders. Perhaps the friendliest girl on the planet, you'd have to cut her smile off with a knife. Like I said, the complete opposite of me.

I couldn't explain the hollow feeling consuming my body. This was what I wanted, after all. For Peeta to get over me. For him to start dating another girl. For him to leave me alone. But now the thought of him disappearing was painful. I didn't want to go without seeing his smiling face or without hearing his deep voice in the mornings. I shook the thought from my head. Just because he was taking Delly to the dance did not mean he was going to stop being my friend. But now everything felt…different. As if I wasn't looking at the same boy who sat in front of me five minutes ago.

But I was being selfish. Peeta deserved better than me, and Delly was certainly better. Though for some reason, I couldn't shake this depressive feeling that weighed me down, making my shoulders slump and my head droop.

"Katniss, are you okay with that?" Peeta's voice cut through my thoughts.

"Why wouldn't I be okay with it?" I snapped. "If you want to go with Delly, go with Delly. It makes no difference to me what you do."

"Okay…" Peeta stood up and gathered his half eaten lunch. "Well, I promised Tyler I'd help him decorate the hallways. I'll see you in class, Katniss. Bye, Madge."

Madge waved politely as I sat firmly in my seat, a deep scowl on my face. When I finally looked up, Madge was looking back at me, her lips pressed together so they jutted out slightly. It was the expression she wore when she had something to say, but was holding herself back. I sighed and tried to relax my face muscles so I wouldn't look so threatening. "Just say it."

Madge tilted her head and made sure I wasn't going to rip her tongue out at her words before opening her mouth. "I think we should go to the dance."

"What? Why? We've never gone to the dance."

"Exactly. It's our senior year, Katniss. Don't you think we should see what it's like?"

I shook my head. I was surprised Madge was saying this. It was unlike her. She was like me. She didn't do anything because it was the thing to do. She didn't do things simply because other people had.

"Plus, my dad is making me go. He says I'm not social enough. I'd really like it if I had a friend there with me."

I let out a puff of air. She was guilt tripping me and I knew it was going to work. But Madge had sat besides me through years of rumors and gossip so I guessed I owed her that much. "Fine. We'll go to the dance.

That Saturday night, I found myself standing with Madge outside the school gym. I felt silly in the purple dress Madge lent me for the occasion. It hugged my waist and came down mid-thigh. Madge said it looked good on me but I felt like a five-year-old playing dress up in her mother's clothes. The music thumped loudly from inside the gym, making the earth vibrate. It made me feel nauseous and Madge had to drag me inside.

The gym was dark and lights flashed obnoxiously in your eyes, making it difficult to see. Everyone there was dancing, jumping up and down to the rhythmic beat coming from the speakers. Couples were pressed up against the folded bleachers, mouths forcefully attached to each other. I turned away from the sight. "What do we do now?" I yelled to Madge over the noise.

"Dance," she screamed back. She grabbed my hand before I had a chance to protest and pulled me straight into the middle of the crowd. She only let go once she felt comfortable that I wasn't going to try and escape. She began to sway to the music. I shifted my weight from foot to foot, not sure of what else to do.

I started scanning my surroundings. Everyone around me looked overheated, girls' hair flipped over one shoulder and guys' faces red with exertion. It was warm and the air was thick with sweat. I was glad I forced Madge to let me wear my hair in its usual braid. Most people seemed to be paired off. The boys held the girls close to their bodies so there was no room between them. It looked awfully uncomfortable, but the girls seemed to be enjoying themselves.

It was then that I noticed him, dancing about three feet from where I stood, his eyes shining even in this darkness. Delly was with him, of course, her backside pressed firmly against his body, a big smile plastered on her face. Peeta's hands were at her waist, clutching tightly as they moved back and forth in unison. One of Delly's hands lay on Peeta's leg, the other one winding back over hear head to grip at the back of Peeta's neck.

Unexplainable anger rocketed through me, blood boiling in my veins. A hazy fog reddened my vision and I couldn't tear my eyes away from the couple. I was suddenly overwhelmingly hot and I felt an uncomfortable pressure in my chest. At that moment, there was nothing I'd rather do than tear out Delly Cartwright's jugular.

I had stopped dancing without realizing it. Madge noticed the change in my disposition and turned to see what I was so focused on. As her eyes followed my line of sight, she quickly grabbed my elbow and tried to tug me away but I was rooted to the spot. Luckily, Peeta hadn't noticed me yet so I simply pushed Madge in front of me, blocking me from his view. Madge looked at me with a worried expression on her face, but did as I motioned.

Suddenly, Peeta and Delly stopped dancing. She spun around gracefully in his arms and stood on tiptoe as she tilted her head up. For one split second, I thought they were about to kiss and I almost lunged at them. But thankfully, Peeta turned his head away so Delly's mouth was by his right ear. After about thirty seconds, Delly pulled back and gave him a kiss on the cheek. My anger flared once again.

She moved away from him at this point, unknowingly making a beeline toward me. Madge stepped aside to let her pass. Delly smiled at me as she scooted by me. For some reason, that only made me hate her more. I couldn't think straight. My rage was all consuming. Before I could think my actions through, both of my hands landed on Delly's back and I shoved her forward. She seemed to fly through the air, landing on the ground with a loud enough smack to be heard over the music. People in the surrounding area froze, looking with shocked expressions from Delly on the floor to me. I turned gradually to face Peeta. He was gaping at me as though he never saw me properly before.

I finally gathered my senses and bolted from the gym, knocking people over in the process. I ran all the way to the senior parking lot, where I stopped to catch my breath. Tears were threatening to make an appearance as I thought over my actions. How could I do something so stupid? Why would I even do that in the first place? I gasped in the cold night air trying to calm myself.

"Katniss! Katniss!"

I started to move again at the sound of my name. I didn't want to face anyone right now. I wasn't sure how I could ever force myself back to school again.

Whoever was chasing me caught up and a hand landed on my shoulder, compelling me to turn around. Peeta was standing there, eyes blazing. He crossed his arms over his chest.

"Leave me alone, Peeta," I said, trying to back away. Peeta's hand caught my wrist, forcing me to stay put.

"Katniss, why did you do that?" Peeta asked, his voice full of ire.

"Leave me alone, Peeta!" I repeated vehemently.

"Why did you do that, Katniss?" Peeta repeated with more strength.

"I don't know!" I shouted, throwing my hands up into the air. I was becoming hysterical. "I don't know, okay? I don't know what came over me. Just seeing you with her…it made me…crazy! Okay? I couldn't take it! I couldn't take one second of it! Are you happy now? Is that what you wanted to hear?"

"No," Peeta said, his voice rising. "You can't do that to me, Katniss! You can't tell me you have a boyfriend and then turn around and say things like that! You can't do that! It's not fair."

"You're right!" I wailed. "You're right! I'm an unfair, selfish, horrible person who you should just stay away from."

"No!" bellowed Peeta. "You don't get to do that either, Katniss! You don't get to dictate the terms! We are friends! You can't just – "

"Right, Peeta! We're friends! So why are you out here chasing me instead of inside making sure your date's okay?"

Peeta didn't respond. He simply stood staring at me, breath falling heavily out of his mouth. I stared back, my chest rising and falling in time with his pants. The tension was intolerable. Until it finally broke.

Peeta descended upon me with vigor, one hand reaching up to cup my cheek while the other rested gently on my waist. This kiss was unlike the last one. Where the last one was forceful and curious, this one was desperate and passionate. The same lightness I felt the last time our lips touched returned and I felt as though I was floating on air. My hands locked behind his neck, pulling him closer while playing with the wisps of hair I found there. A fervent feeling within me told me I wanted more.

I took a step closer, closing the distance between our bodies so I was pushed flushed against him. His arm curled around my back, holding me to him as I arched my body. He was sweaty from the dance but he still possessed his sweet scent. I smiled into the kiss.

Peeta's tongue darted out of his mouth and swept along my lips and I eagerly granted him access. Our tongues danced together, rolling over one another. I moaned at the sensation, causing his grip to tighten around me.

When we finally broke apart, Peeta rested his forehead against mine, keeping his eyes closed and his hold on me strong. When we finally managed to catch our breath, he let go and took a step back. "I promised I wasn't going to let that happen again," he said with a pained expression on his face.

The lightness I had been feeling disappear with his words, causing a big weight to drop down into my stomach. I knew why he said this. It was to remind me of what I had once told him. That I had a boyfriend. It was also to let me know that he was taking responsibility, like he had taken responsibility for the first kiss. I hated that he said that. It wasn't his fault. It was mine! Everything was always my fault.

I backed away from Peeta, unable to stand how much I had hurt him. He didn't deserve it. He was moving on with Delly and I had to go ruin it. He wasn't going to be happy as long as he was around me. I knew what this meant. It meant we couldn't be friends anymore. Each step I took away from him was excruciating but he didn't chase after me this time.

"I'm sorry, Peeta," I cried before turning around and running into the darkness.

**Author's Notes: It was a long chapter and I hope I did it justice. I did it in Katniss' POV because the first kiss was in Peeta's. Please review to let me know what you think.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: I do not own THE HUNGER GAMES. It all belongs to Suzanne Collins.**

Chapter 7

**Peeta POV**

I honestly didn't understand how things got so screwed up. One minute, Katniss and I were becoming closer than I'd ever thought possible. I was getting her to smile and open up. She was starting to trust me. I truly could not have been happier. The next thing I know, she was turning up at dances she had no intention on going to, pushing my date to the floor, and telling me that she felt jealous. Jealous! How could I not have kissed her? She was beautiful in that purple dress that showed the curves she was determined to hide from the world, her face slowly reddening from both embarrassment and exertion from all of her yelling, her voice taking on a slightly manic tone. She had no idea what she was doing to me in that moment.

And that kiss…I've never felt anything so amazing in my entire life. I felt as though I could do anything, be anything while I was kissing her. And she kissed me back with such intensity. And I felt it. I felt how she cared for me and how she wanted me. And I hated every minute of it. I hated it because that kiss represented everything I wanted and everything I couldn't have. It was easier just being her friend. It was easier not knowing. So I stopped it before I tasted any more of that spectacular feeling because one more minute of it and I wasn't sure if I'd be able to let Katniss go to make her own decision. And as much as I despised myself for it, I couldn't help but feel a small flame of hope as I reminded her that she had a boyfriend. But what did I expect was going to happen? That she'd suddenly declare her love for me and tell me that she'd break up with her boyfriend at the first possible opportunity? Of course not. She chose him. Every step she took away from me was excruciating, as if each layer of my skin was being carved one by one from my body.

I didn't chase her when she ran, though. I let her go. I needed to let her go because it was all too painful. After that kiss, how was I supposed to sit there and pretend that being her friend was enough? I needed to find a way to get over her or I'd spend the rest of my life chasing and wanting something that would never belong to me. As long as Katniss was happy, I'd be okay. But I wasn't going to force my presence on her any longer. It wasn't healthy for either of us.

I didn't wait for her outside of school on Monday. However, I did notice her arrival. She walked into school, her hair plaited back in its usual braid, but her footsteps were heavy on the ground, her feet dragging slightly. I hated that I burdened her with my feelings, but there was nothing I could do or say to make it better.

Whispers followed Katniss wherever she went that day. I wished more than anything that I could stop them, but again there was nothing I could do. And I knew that Katniss was strong. Madge still sat with her at lunch and she had been Katniss' only real friend anyway. _Other than me_, I reminded myself guiltily as I moved away from their table to find my own on the opposite side of the cafeteria.

As I pulled out a roll I had stuffed in my bag that morning from the bakery, I finally noticed that I was sitting alone. It was odd and as I thought back over the morning, I realized I hadn't spoken to anyone yet that day. I was so busy trying to avoid Katniss, I hadn't detected that people were avoiding me. I lifted my head to scan the lunchroom and I saw several pairs of eyes quickly dart away from my direction. People were staring.

After five more minutes, I spotted Tyler weaving through the lunch tables. I got his attention and quickly waved him over. He hesitated for a fraction of a second before making his way toward me and plopping down on the bench.

"What's going on?" I demanded, not bothering with any pretenses.

Tyler looked at me as if I had just grown an extra head. "Are you serious?"

I just stared at him until he decided to speak again. "First, you befriend Katniss Everdeen."

I immediately opened my mouth to protest, but Tyler simply held out his hand imploring me not to speak.

"Which was fine. You're allowed to be friends with whomever you want. But like I told you at the beginning of the year, there's a reason she's not friends with people. You can't just think she'll automatically fit in just because you like her."

"I never expected – "

Tyler held his hand out again, so I let him continue. "Then, you take Delly Cartwright to the dance. That alone could get half of the guys in this school to hate you. But when Katniss Everdeen shoved Delly and you went chasing after Katniss, that was when you crossed the line."

"Look, I know it was wrong to go after Katniss before making sure Delly was okay, but don't you think people are overreacting?"

"It's not about that," Tyler said exasperatedly. "When you ran after Katniss, you chose a side, Peeta. No one chooses Katniss over Delly. I told you. Katniss is a social pariah. Now you're one too. I warned you this could happen."

I sighed. "So now what? People are shunning me?"

Tyler shrugged. I pressed my fingers on the bridge of my nose. I felt as though I was in third grade again. When would people stop being immature?

"Are you?"

"No," Tyler said firmly. "I would never do that."

I didn't point out that I basically had to force him to sit with me not even five minutes ago. "Do you think people will be able to get over this?"

"Sure," Tyler responded uncertainly.

"It's funny. I felt like this school's hero after the game on Saturday."

Tyler looked at me pityingly. I probably seemed pathetic right then; friendless and publically embarrassed by a girl everyone thought was scum. But I didn't want or need his pity.

"People around here have short memories. If you want people's forgiveness, I'd start with Delly," Tyler told me. "If she forgives you, no one will be able to stay mad."

"Right, thanks." In all honesty, I had been planning on apologizing to Delly anyway. I tried to do so the night of the dance, but by the time I returned to the gym, Delly had disappeared. She truly was a nice girl and didn't deserve to be treated the way I treated her. It was in my nature to make things right.

I didn't get a chance to speak to Delly until later that day. After an extremely awkward American history class where Katniss and I used all of our energy to avoid looking at each other at any cost, I found Delly outside of the library. She turned at the sound of her name, but had the smallest of frowns on her face when she saw that it was me. I think it was that first time I ever saw her not smiling.

"Hello, Peeta," she said in a measured voice.

"Delly, I'm so sorry for what happened at the dance on Saturday." My words rushed out. I didn't realize how guilty I felt until that moment. "It was wrong of me to go after Katniss the way I did. I was your date. I should have taken care of you. I don't know what I was thinking."

Delly remained quiet. She simply blinked in my direction as she tilted her head slightly. I watched the seconds tick by on the clock that was perched over Delly's head. I felt a small bead of sweat roll down the center of my back as I awaited her response. Delly took a deep breath and then finally opened her mouth. "I'm not mad at you, Peeta."

"What? But I thought – then why were you gone when I came back to the gym?"

"I was embarrassed," Delly said in a small voice. "I did a face plant on the gym floor and then my date ran after my attacker. But I'm not angry at you for chasing after her."

"You should be," I replied fiercely.

"You obviously care a lot about her. And that's good. Katniss needs someone to care about her."

I grated my teeth together. Delly Cartwright was one of two people in this school who had a right to be angry with me, and she was letting me off the hook. I didn't feel as though I deserved her kindness. I wished, for her sake, things had been different.

"I'm still sorry. Please, accept my apology."

"Relax, Peeta. You're forgiven."

Unfortunately, Delly's compassion was the only good thing to happen for the rest of the week. I didn't appreciate how difficult it was going to be to elude Katniss. It seemed as though the harder I tried to stay away, the more I was drawn to her. I noticed every breath she took, every footfall, every twitch of her fingers. American history was definitely the worst. While she was sitting next to me, her scent was overpowering and it took every ounce of my strength not to turn to her and beg for her forgiveness. But I remained resilient.

Friday afternoon came and I sprinted onto the football field. I was a total disaster by this point. My patience was short and I snapped at anyone who approached me. I had decided to skip work, choosing instead to attend practice in hopes of relieving some of my pent up aggravation. I sat on the bench, furiously tapping my foot while I watched players trickle onto the field. I was anxious to start.

I doggedly ran through the early practice drills, my mind wandering. I was glad when our coach finally told us to line up so we could run through some plays. I walked to the line of scrimmage, my heart hammering and a drop of sweat clinging to the tip of my nose.

When the whistle blew, my cleats dug into the soft ground beneath me as I pushed by a defender and flew several yards down the field. Low grunts behind me let me know that I was being chased. I cut sharply to my right and threw my eyes over my shoulder, seeing the football that was zipping through the late afternoon sky. I reached my hands out, my fingers stretching like tendrils searching for the sun. The pass was right on target, my arms in the perfect position. As the ball lost velocity I prepared myself to pull it in close to my body. The ball dropped then, bouncing off my hands, and my fingers closed on thin air. I cursed violently under my breath.

A sharp whistle cut through the grumblings of my teammates. "Well, that's about all of that crap I can watch for one day," grunted our coach from the sidelines. "Take a water break. God knows I need one."

I began to make my way towards our bench with the rest of the team when I heard my coach's raspy voice once again. "Mellark," he motioned me over. I groaned as I separated myself from the crowd of boys lining up to get a drink. I was not in the mood to deal with a one-on-one conversation with my coach, Haymitch Abernathy. He wasn't exactly the easiest person to talk to. My teammates had told me his story and it wasn't pretty. Apparently, he was the town's last superstar. The last time the football team, or any team for that matter, won a championship was when he was the quarterback. They said that he was the smartest player on the field, always could anticipate what was coming, always made the right throw. After he won, his life was set. He was offered a full scholarship to practically any college of his choice and he was worshipped all around the country because everyone adored the underdog who led his small town team to a national championship. Of course, as in all stories that are too good to be true, that was when everything went south.

On a dark night in the middle of December, Haymitch got into a serious car accident while on his way home from the school dance. His girlfriend, who was sitting in the passenger seat, didn't make it. Haymitch blamed himself, even after the police told him it wasn't his fault. He was hit by a drunk driver, the most awful and cliché thing that could happen to someone in high school. His parents, who had been sick for a while, soon followed. And so Haymitch was left alone.

After that, his grades dropped and his attendance slipped, both of which cost him his scholarship. And suddenly Haymitch went from having everything in the world, to having nothing. He stayed in this small town in the house his parents left for him with just enough money stored away that he could spend his life doing essentially nothing. Ironically, Haymitch turned to alcohol to ease the pain of losing everything he ever cared about. A couple public intoxication misdemeanors later, he found himself back in the place that was the scene of his destruction: high school, coaching the very team he was once famous for leading as a favor to the mayor so he could escape jail time. After all, he was still the town hero, even if he did turn into the town drunk.

It was hard not to feel bad for the guy. I shuddered just thinking about being in his situation. However, that did not make him more likable and I dreaded having to listen to whatever he was about to tell me. I stopped a few feet in front of him, the stench of body odor and alcohol slightly overwhelming.

"You're playing like crap, boy," Haymitch began, squinting at me. His gaze made me uncomfortable, as though he was judging me like a piece of meat.

"Thanks," I replied sarcastically. "I hadn't noticed."

"You can't catch, you can't block, you can't tackle. I don't know what the hell you can do anymore."

"And?"

"And I don't see how you're helping me or the team out. I only care for fighters and you don't seem to be one."

"So what are you saying? You giving up on me, Coach? Are you kicking me off the team?" I asked in a somewhat mocking voice.

"I'm considering it," Haymitch growled back.

I had to suppress a laugh. "You couldn't." I literally didn't think Haymitch had the power to do what he threatened. After all, I had basically won the game for the team last weekend. After playing on both the offensive and defensive side of the ball most of the game, I had two interceptions and scored the game winning touchdown.

"Well, in this town, it's all what have you done for me lately."

I froze, briefly believing that Haymitch had discovered what happened at the homecoming dance last weekend and was going to shirk me as everyone else had done. But I quickly put that out of my mind. Haymitch didn't exactly stay on top of things and he certainly didn't care about useless teenage drama.

Haymitch continued speaking without noticing my short-lived anxiety. "And lately, you're as useless to this team as the school's marching band."

My frustration and anger boiled up inside of me. I was not about to lose another thing because of my mistake with Katniss Everdeen. I knew it was because of her that my playing was poor. I couldn't focus on anything else. Not talking to her for a week had thrown off my whole dynamic.

"And you're the coach," my voice suddenly took a pleading tone. "So coach me. Make me better. Give me some advice."

Haymitch paused, clearly confused about the sudden change in my behavior. "You're distracted. Can't coach a distracted player."

I looked down at the ground. He was completely right about my problem. That didn't help solve it, though.

"So whatever it is, get it off your mind."

"Like it's so easy," I mumbled under my breath with no intention for Haymitch to hear me. He did.

To my surprise, Haymitch let out a harsh chuckle. "So it's about a girl."

I frowned and my eyebrows dropped creating severe lines on my forehead. Was I always that obvious?

"It's always about a girl," Haymitch answered my silent question. He then looked straight at me, all joking dropping from his tone. "You want coaching? You want some advice?"

I nodded.

"Forget about her. Forget about whatever happened. It's never worth it, boy. Whoever she is, she's not worth it. Now go home."

"But – "

"You heard me. Go home. Tomorrow's a new day."

I spun on my heals, fuming as I made my way to my car, ripping my equipment off as I went. What did Haymitch know? Forget about Katniss? I couldn't. Even if we weren't together and weren't friends, I'd always care about her. I stiffened when I realized what I was thinking. Wasn't I staying away from her to do exactly what Haymitch told me? To forget about her? No, not completely. Just to forget my feelings about her. But at this point, I honestly didn't know if that was possible.

I sighed as I drove home, knowing no one would be there to watch my meltdown. I was a mess and I'd be in trouble later with my parents for skipping work. In a way, I was lucky that Haymitch was my coach. He didn't care that I missed practice practically everyday to work.

I stomped my way up my front walkway and slammed the door behind me as I entered my house. I was halfway up the stairs when I heard a noise behind me. I twisted and saw my mother appear from around the corner, her eyes clouded with a threatening hue.

"What are you doing home from work so early?" she asked, her tone icy. Her eyes widened as she took in my muddy appearance, understanding dawning upon her. "You missed work to go play some foolish sport?" she hissed. "Get down here this instant!"

"Why aren't you at the bakery?" I countered, though my feet began to climb back down the staircase.

I immediately knew this was the wrong thing to say as my mothers face suddenly combusted into a vehement glare. My thoughts instantly returned to the reason why we fled our last home and I wondered if my mother was stupid enough to continue.

She whipped away from me and flung open the side closet door, rummaging within its depths. My body tensed. I knew what was coming. I was terrified of my mother, but I had lost respect for her a long time ago. The only reason I still put up with her and remained living in her house was because of my dad. He deserved better and I couldn't find it within myself to abandon him. Especially not after what my mom had done.

My mother finally found what she was looking for, a long metal baseball bat from my childhood. It was the one thing from my childhood I wished she didn't keep. She loomed toward me, bat in hand, raising her arm above her head. I flinched before the bat even made contact with my skin, but it did nothing to stop the pain.

"I'm the adult! You are a child!" she screamed, bringing the bat viciously down again and again, making my body throb with agony. "You do as I say! You do not question my actions!"

She continued to beat me, taking swings at my back, stomach, and legs, the sound of each blow reverberating in my eardrums. A particularly harsh swipe landed on my right shoulder and I cried out in discomfort. I clutched at it as I forced back tears. I promised myself a long time ago that I would never provide that for her. She'd never see me that weak.

She stopped after that, panting from her wrath. "Get out," she snarled, which only confirmed my suspicions: this beating wasn't really about missing work. I looked up at my mother, disgusted by the sight of her, before stumbling out of the door, my hand still grasping my car keys from before. I practically fell into the drivers seat and hurriedly jammed the keys into the ignition. I drove away recklessly, my mind unconsciously taking me where I needed to go.

**Author's Notes: I apologize for the lack of Katniss/Peeta interaction but that was kind of the point. I also apologize for taking so long to update. For some reason I found this chapter really difficult to write. Also, I know Haymitch's back story doesn't help move the story along but it does explain his character and I really wanted to include it. Again thanks for the reviews. They are always so helpful. Keep them coming :) **


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

**Katniss POV**

The incessant pounding in my head had been going on for days. The sound of silverware scraping against worn plates did nothing to ease my headache. On the contrary, the thumping pain only grew as if a stampede was marching its way through my skull. I looked up at my sister sitting across from me at the table. Her blonde hair, which was perched atop her head in a high ponytail, bounced slightly as she chewed. She was being awfully reserved today, not at all like her usual self, and I wondered if she could sense my bad mood.

"How was your day today, Prim?" I asked, trying to appear casual.

"Oh, it was wonderful," Prim said, a sweet smile grazing her lips. "Mrs. Watson placed me in the advanced group in math class. Then, in science, we had to choose lab partners and Rory asked me to be his." Her smile only widened at this statement.

I forced myself to smile back. Lab partners in eighth grade were simply people who you developed hypotheses and completed simple math with. The "labs" in eighth grade were to help the students prepare for the transition to high school sciences. Rory was Gale's younger brother and had been Prim's best friend for quite some time. The irony of that was not lost on me.

"That's great, Prim!" I tried to put enthusiasm into my voice. I wasn't sure if I succeeded.

"Yeah," Prim said, looking down at her knees, a faint pink appearing in her cheeks. "He had to turn down Marissa so he could work with me."

Marissa, I had learned from Prim, was "the coolest girl in eighth grade." I knew Prim often felt guilty that she monopolized Rory's time. She remained unaware of the fact that he had a crush on her, of which I was glad. I wanted Prim to remain innocent for as long as possible. I had tried my entire life to keep Prim away from the hardships in the world. She had such an optimistic view on everything, and I wasn't going to be the one to spoil that for her.

"Well, he must have really wanted to work with you, then," I supplied.

Prim didn't look up. She began to push the few remaining pieces of chicken back and forth across her plate. "Are you okay, Katniss?"

My back muscles tightened as I responded. "Of course I am." I tried my best to sound convincing, but I knew that it wouldn't work. Prim was always much better at reading people than I was.

"Did something bad happen between you and Gale?"

"Why do you think something happened with me and Gale?"

Prim bit her lip, something she always did when she felt culpable. "Rory told me that Gale's been acting irritated lately. And you've been depressed. So I just thought – "

"So you and Rory gossip about us then?" I asked, slight frustration entering my voice. The truth was my misery had nothing to do with Gale. Peeta had been avoiding me for a week and it had taken its toll on my wellbeing. I felt completely drained without him. But everything between Gale and I had been fine. Gale's anger surely had nothing to do with me.

"No! We don't," Prim quickly backtracked. "I just want to make sure you're okay. You know you can talk to me, right?"

Prim looked at me now, her eyes round and pleading, begging me to let her in. I had to look away. She was wrong. I couldn't talk to her. Not about Peeta. She didn't even know he existed. How was I supposed to explain everything that had happened between us? How was I supposed to tell her how I felt when I didn't even know what it was that I was feeling? I grabbed the plates off the table and walked them to the sink as an excuse to avoid her question.

The warm soapy water was therapeutic as I scrubbed the dishes clean. It was mind-numbing work that allowed me to drift to a peaceful state of mind. Prim allowed the silence to fill the room. She knew not to press me. Instead, she pulled out her homework and sat back down at the kitchen table. The sound of the pencil scratching continued to relax me. I was happy that Prim was diligent and got her work done. She had always enjoyed school much more than I did and she had good grades in all of her classes. It was my hope that she'd do well enough to one day receive an academic scholarship. I was determined to give her a better life than what I'd be living. Prim was going to leave this town, perhaps become a doctor. She wasn't going to be stuck like I was.

A sharp knock at the font door cut through my thoughts. I quickly turned the sink off, allowing the last of the soap bubbles to be dragged down the drain. Prim moved as though she was going to answer the door. "I got it," I said, kissing the top of her head as I moved past. "You finish your work, little duck."

Prim didn't argue. I walked swiftly down the hallway; the setting sun shone through the windows creating elongated shadows on the wooden floor in front of me. Whoever was at the front door knocked again, this time with more force so the raps echoed in the entranceway. "I'm coming," I called, my hand grasping the brass doorknob. I swung the door open and in one formidable gasp, my breath escaped my body.

Peeta was standing outside of my house, his left hand clenching his right forearm, while he breathed in heavily. Hair disheveled, eyebrows scrunched, and eyes watery. He looked as though he was in a lot of pain. "Peeta," I gulped. "What are you doing here? Are – are you okay?"

"Is your mom here?" Peeta asked, completely ignoring my concerns.

"What?" I asked, my head bouncing back and forth as if I could shake meaning into the situation.

"You said your mom was a nurse, right?"

I nodded, surprised that he remembered such an obscure detail from a conversation we had a month ago.

"Well, is she here?" Peeta insisted, a sudden cogency to his demand.

"No, Peeta. I'm sorry. She has a late shift today."

"Dammit," Peeta growled, slumping against the doorframe.

Peeta's behavior worried me. He hadn't spoken to me in nearly a week and now he showed up on my doorstep without explanation, basically collapsing in pain. "Peeta, are you okay? If you need a doctor, I can take you to the hospital."

"No," Peeta barked. "No hospital. If I go there then…then I won't be able to play football for a week. Team rule."

"Peeta, if you're this injured – "

"I'm not," he said, standing up straighter as if this proved his point. "I'm fine, really. I just figured your mom might have something for the pain. I'll be better by tomorrow. It's just…right now…"

I hesitated. I didn't really think Peeta was fine, but he seemed so intent on staying away from the hospital. Though, he did manage to make it all the way to my house without help so he couldn't be that seriously damaged.

"Well, my mom will be getting home from her shift soon. You could wait here, if you want. She could check you out when she gets home."

I had completely forgotten the awkwardness between us. All I wanted to do in that moment was to help him. I had this insatiable need to make sure he was okay. I looked at him expectantly.

"You sure that would be okay?"

"Of course."

"Okay, then."

I stepped aside so I could allow Peeta entrance. He seemed able to walk so I resisted assisting him. "This way," I motioned, once Peeta was inside. "You should probably lay down."

I led him towards my bedroom, mostly because it was in the opposite direction of the kitchen and I didn't need Prim to question this decision. Peeta remained silent, though he refused to let go of his shoulder. Uneasiness was resettling between us. How odd it was that we had spent the past week pretending the other didn't exist and now we were walking into my bedroom together. My face automatically heated up.

My room felt a lot smaller with Peeta standing in it. I quickly scanned the area to make sure that there was nothing embarrassing littering the space. The only one of my friends who had been in my room before was Gale and that had been after years of friendship. But here I was, inviting Peeta inside after a mere month of knowing him and we weren't really friends. Not anymore.

I arranged the pillows on my bed so Peeta could lean up against them. Peeta paused but I forced him to take a seat on the old-fashioned covers, immediately dismissing his argument that he was still in his muddy football clothes. I watched as the mattress sank a few inches under his weight.

"Do you need anything?" I asked quietly, remembering how he had asked me the same thing when I went to his house. Although, that was under very different circumstances. "You know what. I'm going to get you some ice." I left before he had a chance to protest.

I dashed back into the kitchen and opened the freezer before Prim even noticed I was there. "Who was that at the door?"

"No one. Just someone who wanted to see Mom." I wasn't lying.

I grabbed a plastic bag and dumped ice cubes into it, the coldness of the freezer making me shiver. I ran out of the room before Prim had a chance to interrogate me further.

I silently slipped back into my room, shutting the door behind me, to find Peeta staring at a photograph sitting on my nightstand. The picture was of Prim and me when I was about eight years old. My hair was in two braids instead of one and my smile revealed a missing tooth. Prim was hugging my waist, looking just as adorable as she did now. I cleared my throat and Peeta looked up at me, grinning.

"Is that you?" he asked.

"Yes," I said, awkwardly.

"You look happy."

"I was."

He turned his head back towards the frame. I took the opportunity to climb over him so I sat between his body and the wall on the bed. I pressed the bag of ice on his shoulder. He jumped, but quickly moved his hand to hold the bag still. "Thanks," he whispered.

"You going to tell me what happened now?" I had been trying my best not to press him because I was just glad to have him talking to me again. I didn't want to drive him away so quickly. But my concern was slightly overwhelming and I had been patient long enough.

"It's nothing," Peeta said, dismissively. "I – I dislocated my shoulder during practice today."

He probably noticed my apprehensive face because he quickly added, "I popped it right back in and everything. It's just sore."

"Are you sure you don't need a doctor?"

"I'm positive. I'm fine, Katniss." Peeta patted my leg in reassurance. My breath hitched. This was the first time we touched since Peeta kissed me at homecoming. I was suddenly aware of how close our bodies actually were, lying side by side on my twin bed. Barely an inch separated our legs, but I had an unexplainable urge to close that distance. And abruptly, we were back to the same conundrum that I ran away from that night. We were clearly attracted to each other and that fact tainted the air we breathed, making it difficult to focus on anything else.

His hand was still on my leg, resting lightly near my knee. It wasn't sexual; it was comforting. I honestly didn't realize how much I missed his presence until that moment. Peeta calmed me, made me feel safe. This entire week I was on edge and it was solely because he was avoiding me. The realization unnerved me. How was it possible that this boy could affect me so? What did it even mean?

I rotated my head to look at Peeta, only to discover two blue eyes already gazing at me. Untold emotion poured out of them and I wished more than anything that I knew what he was thinking. "Katniss, I – "

"Katniss?" a deep voice cut across Peeta's and I jerked at the sound. Gale was standing at the entrance to my bedroom, his large stature taking up most of the doorframe. I could tell he wasn't pleased. His jaw was set and his fist was clenched around the doorknob, his knuckles white from the effort.

"Gale!" I exclaimed. I sat up straighter under Gale's glare, knocking Peeta's shoulder in the process. Peeta let out a low hiss, but otherwise didn't say anything. "What are you doing here?"

"I came to drop off your paycheck for the week," Gale said, his voice dangerously low. "You ran out of work so quickly, you forgot it. Not like you, but now I see what you were rushing home to." His eyes flicked between Peeta and me.

"Gale, no," I said hastily, scooting myself further down the bed. "This isn't what it looks like."

"And what does it look like?" Gale asked sounding practically diabolical, his scowl now focused solely on Peeta. To his credit, Peeta glared right back, not cowering under a scrutiny that would make most people run for the hills. The hostility in the room was mounting by the second and I had no idea how to diffuse it.

"Peeta just came here looking for my mother," I said, my voice sounding much squeakier than it normally did.

"Peeta?" Gale spat. He seemed to have not heard the rest of my sentence and focused solely on the name I supplied. "Baker boy?"

I frowned at Gale's comment. Of course, Gale had never met Peeta before. Though I guessed he was being rude on purpose. Gale had definitely assumed that it was Peeta lying next to me from the moment he had us in sight.

"Yes, Gale," I said nervously. "This is Peeta Mellark, my partner for my American History project I told you about. Peeta, this is Gale Hawthorne."

"Her boyfriend," Gale supplied with a particular possessive bite I was not fond of. I cringed at the statement. This encounter was not going at all as I planned it to. Although, to be honest, I never really thought about Peeta and Gale meeting. Was it selfish of me to have hoped that they never would?

The silence was mounting. I sat there immobile, though Gale seemed to be waiting for me to do something. When I didn't corroborate his pronouncement, Gale became more infuriated. Resentment rolled off of him in waves. "Maybe I'll just let you two be," he jeered. "Have fun with your _study partner_, Katniss." Gale then stomped away, letting me know just how angry he was. He only made noise when he couldn't control his anger.

I knew immediately that I couldn't allow Gale to leave like that. It would be weeks before he'd speak to me again. I turned to Peeta, opening my mouth to explain.

"Just go," he said quietly, ducking his head to hide the look of anguish on his face.

I ran from the room before I allowed Peeta's suffering to influence me. I caught up to Gale just as he was opening the front door. "You have no right," I screamed at him, "no right to be angry with me right now!"

"I have no right?" Gale spun around, the fire in his grey eyes making him look crazed. "I have no right to be mad that I found you in bed with another guy?"

"We weren't in bed together," I said, waving off his accusation.

"Then what do you call that, Katniss?"

"Peeta's just hurt. He had to lay down and – "

"You didn't have to lie down with him! You looked awful cozy."

"Peeta and I are just friends. That's it! Just friends!" _If that_, I added in my head.

Gale exhaled through his nose, nostrils flared. I waited patiently. He was slowly calming down. "Look, Katniss," Gale began slowly. "I like you. And I thought that we kind of had a thing…going on…maybe?"

I nodded.

"But if you are interested in other guys – "

"I'm not," I said quickly. "Peeta's not a threat to you. What can I do to make you believe me?"

Gale didn't say anything, but somehow I knew what I had to do. I took a step toward him and seized his face with both of my hands and pressed my lips against his. Unlike Peeta's, which were soft and inviting, Gale's lips were unyielding and pushed forcefully against my own. Gale's arms came around me like a vice, holding me persistently to his body. Gale somehow pried my mouth open and his tongue darted forward. The whole thing felt artificial and deliberate, nothing at all like kissing Peeta, which felt spontaneous and innate. I simply attributed this to the fact that I initiated this kiss, whereas Peeta initiated both of ours. Clearly, I wasn't good at romance.

Some time later I pulled back for air, but I remained standing in Gale's arms. "It just wouldn't work with Peeta and me," I whispered into his ear. "We don't make sense. You and me, we make sense." I hated that I sounded as though I was convincing myself of this. Gale didn't seem to notice, though. I could feel his body relaxing with my words.

"I'm sorry, Katniss," he said. "I guess I can be a jealous idiot sometimes, huh?" He grinned at me, clearly enthused at what we just shared. I just felt empty.

"I'll see you tomorrow, okay?" I asked, now just wanting him to leave.

Gale nodded. He kissed me on the cheek and exited my house. I let out a sigh of relief only to quickly come to the realization that I now had a whole different problem to deal with. I inched my way back to my bedroom. Peeta was still lying on my bed, though his eyes were now closed and his breathing was steady. I silently prayed that he fell asleep.

"Peeta?" I whispered.

At my voice, Peeta's eyes snapped open. "That didn't take very long. Is everything okay with…" His voice trailed off.

I climbed back on the bed and sat as I had before Gale interrupted, though now on the other side of Peeta, the opposite of his hurt shoulder. I secretly wished that Peeta would put his hand back on my leg. "Yeah. Everything's fine."

As I situated myself, my hand brushed the back of his. His finger twitched towards mine, but then he pulled his arm away. "I don't want to help you cheat on your boyfriend anymore, Katniss," Peeta said softly.

"I know," I replied. "None of this is fair to you. Maybe we should go back to ignoring each other. Just be partners. It would be easier that way."

And I believed that. It would be easier for Peeta to stay away from me. I just caused him pain and heartbreak. It was not fair of me to ask him to be my friend when he wanted more. I believed that, but the words tasted sour coming from my mouth.

"Would it be easier?" Peeta asked, his voice somber. "I mean, this week wasn't exactly the best week of my life."

I let out a small chuckle, though it almost felt wrong to laugh in a situation like this. "It wasn't mine either."

"I'm not going to lie to you, Katniss," began Peeta. "I like you. A lot. And it really sucks that you have a boyfriend."

My heart started beating a little faster and a little louder at his words. I felt a physical pain in my chest and I wished he would stop talking.

"I just need to know the truth. Do you love him? Gale?" Peeta forced himself to say the name.

Peeta was not looking at me and I averted my eyes as well. I had never been in a more awkward situation. Did Peeta actually want an honest answer from me? Of course I loved Gale. He was my best friend. I really didn't want to tell Peeta that though. But maybe I'd only hurt him worse by lying.

"Yes," I murmured.

Peeta nodded. "And would it be easier for you if I stayed away?"

I knew what I should've answered. I should've told him that it was easier because that would have been the most fair to Gale and would have been in Peeta's best interest. But I couldn't say that. Because I was selfish and I didn't want to go through another week like the one I just had. So instead, I said, "no."

"Then maybe we could go back to being friends?"

I gulped and found myself saying, "I'd like that."

Peeta sensed my uneasiness. "It won't be that hard. As long as we're honest to each other from now on, it won't be hard at all."

I looked at Peeta, who was giving me an encouraging smile, and thought of all the secrets I was keeping from everyone, including him. I nodded. _Nope_, I thought sarcastically, _it won't be hard at all._

**Author's Notes: I know many of you were eagerly awaiting this chapter. Please don't hate me for taking forever. I was away and I didn't have my computer with me. I hope this was worth the wait. This was actually the idea that spawned my entire story: Peeta showing up on Katniss' doorstep injured. And for those who want to punch Katniss in the face, don't worry. I completely understand. Hopefully she'll come to her senses soon. I just felt as though I had to write her like this because it took her forever to realize her feelings in the book.**_  
><em>

**On a different note, I'm completely honored to have received over 100 reviews! Thanks so much! And please don't stop and I promise the next chapter won't take nearly as long to appear.**


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: I do not own THE HUNGER GAMES. It all belongs to Suzanne Collins.**

Chapter 9

**Peeta POV**

Half a week had gone by since I left Katniss' house. Another Tuesday, another day off from the bakery, another afternoon being spent getting yelled at by Haymitch. This practice was going much better than my last, though it was still miles away from my usual performance.

"See you didn't take my advice," Haymitch grunted, as I passed him on the way to the bench.

"Guess not," I replied.

"You're still distracted!" Haymitch said, smacking my arm with his clipboard. I winced slightly. My shoulder was still sore. I had left Katniss' house before her mom got home, realizing it was not the best idea to have her look at me. She was a nurse. She could probably recognize the signs of physical abuse. And really, what could she do for a bruised shoulder anyway?

"You're still thinking about that girl," Haymitch continued.

"No, I'm not," I snapped.

Okay, that wasn't entirely true. I would always be thinking of Katniss. I told her I liked her and she told me she was in love with someone else. She had no idea how much pain I was in at that moment. How the world seemed to blacken at the edges and pressure mounted in my chest until it felt as though my lungs were full of lead. But I didn't want her to recognize my sorrow. I didn't want her to feel guilty for doing something that made her happy.

But that wasn't what had been distracting me. There was only one name on my mind that I couldn't shake: Gale Hawthorne. I was less than enthused when he appeared in her bedroom. It was easier before I met him. Whenever Katniss mentioned she had a boyfriend, I had secretly always pictured myself. But now I had a name and a face and it was impossible to ignore.

I had never had competition for a girl before. Though, I guess it was not much of a competition. He had already won. But I couldn't help but feel as though Katniss and I would be together if he wasn't around. After all, after she told me she loved him, didn't she admit she needed me too? Well, she said her life wouldn't be easier if I wasn't in it so…close enough. So I despised Gale Hawthorne for getting in the way, though I tried not to because he was important to Katniss.

Haymitch's hand landed on my shoulder and spun me around to face him, effectively withdrawing me from my thoughts. "Look, kid, I know you think I'm some crazy old drunk with a cynical view on life, but I'm trying to help you. You asked for my advice, so take it. You'll be happier when you do."

"You're wrong," I said. Because, honestly, what did Haymitch know of happiness?

I was expecting Haymitch to laugh at me, to call me naïve. Instead he just stared at me, eyes searching my face, apparently deep in thought. "You love her."

"So what if I do?" There was no point in denying it. I didn't care who knew.

"If you love her and you think she's worth it, then you better be prepared to fight for her," Haymitch said quietly, almost as if he was revealing a secret.

"It doesn't matter," I said sadly. "She doesn't feel the same way. She loves someone else."

Haymitch let out a loud bark of laughter. "So I was right. You're not a fighter."

"It's not that. It's just – "

"Just what? Too hard? Well, I hate to break the news for you, boy, but life's hard. And not many people find something that makes life worth living. But let me warn you, if you find it and lose it, you'll experience the best and worst that life has to offer. And then, if you're not careful, you might just end up like me." Haymitch reached deep into his pocket and pulled out a flask that campus security hadn't manage to confiscate yet. He took a long pull from it before looking back at me. "So if that's a risk you're willing to take, by all means, go ahead and fight."

He turned away from me then, leaving me to ponder his statement. Did I believe Katniss was worth fighting for? Of course. But I would never force her to be with me. Her happiness was more important than my own.

"What was that about?" Tyler was suddenly standing next to me, looking curiously at Haymitch who was currently taking another sip from his flask.

"Nothing," I replied, shaking my head of Haymitch's confusing advice and its dangerous implications. I glanced at Tyler who now had one eyebrow raised at me. "Do you know who Gale Hawthorne is?"

Tyler sighed and readjusted his gloves on his hands. "I thought you were done with her."

I frowned. Considering I had not mentioned Katniss, Tyler's automatic assumption displeased me. It meant that Gale had been linked with Katniss for a long time. "Just tell me what you know."

"Fine," uttered Tyler. He took a deep breath, collecting his thoughts, and then he began. "He graduated two years ago. I haven't really seen him since. Only every once in a while in town. I think he started working full time at the plant after graduation. Though I heard he still kept his after school job at the horse stable, so I don't know. Anyway, he was that guy whom the rest of us hated, only because all the girls wanted him. They all thought he was good looking and I guess he was. Tall, muscles, dark hair. He was offered a spot on practically every sports team in the school. Turned them all down. Said he didn't have the time."

"Yeah. Okay, I get it," I said, waving my hand dismissively. I was not enjoying the description of Gale. An unwanted bout of jealousy coursed through my veins. I could understand why all the guys in the school didn't like him. "Why did you assume I wanted to know because of Katniss?"

"He spent all his time with her," Tyler said gently. "Everyone kind of assumed they were together."

If it was possible, my heart sank even lower at the news. This meant that they were together for a while. No wonder Gale looked furious when he saw us lying on her bed together. It must have been a big betrayal on Katniss' part. And the longer they had been together, the more serious they were. My hopes of making Katniss mine diminished further.

"But I don't think they were," Tyler said, almost sensing my inner qualms.

"What? Why not?"

"Well, it was all very quiet, but Gale got around. He dated a bunch of girls. None of them lasted very long and that's probably because of Katniss. He definitely wanted her. You could tell by the way he'd stare guys down if they even glanced her way. She didn't notice, but that guy can be intimidating when he wants to be."

"You seem to have paid a lot of attention to them," I said, eyeing Tyler questioningly.

Tyler shrugged. "So I guess you're not the only one."

My mouthed thinned as I pressed my lips together in anger. Tyler, who seemed to notice my train of thought, quickly backpedaled. "No! Peeta, no! I never liked her."

I let out a breath that I was unaware I held in my chest.

"I just feel bad for her," Tyler explained. "Because of…"

"Her dad leaving."

"Uh…yeah. Because of that. So who am I to tell you to stay away from her when I haven't been doing such a good job of that myself." Tyler smiled. "And you got farther than I ever thought you would. I'm surprised she ever talked to you. I mean, she hit Delly because of you." Tyler started laughing as if the whole thing was funny. Nothing about that night was funny to me.

"So why did you want to know about Gale Hawthorne anyway?"

"Well, I don't know if she was dating him two years ago, but she is definitely dating him now," I said with a grimace.

"Ah, bad luck, man," Tyler said with a small pat on my back. "So what are you going to do about it?"

Why did people keep asking me that question? "Nothing. What is there to do? She's dating her best friend. I can't compete with that."

"Dude, she's known Hawthorne for years and I never once saw her shove a girl he was dating. And from the looks of it, right now _you're_ her best friend. So it's not over. Don't give up."

And just like that, the flame of hope flickered back to life within my heart, warming my very core. It wasn't large, but I could feel it spreading, rippling out from the center of my body. No, it was not over yet. Katniss was still within my reach. So right now, I'd learn to be content with just being her friend. Because she was worth fighting for, even if the person I had to fight was myself.

**Author's Notes: I'm sorry this is a short filler chapter. I was going to put it with the next one, but they are really better on their own. As always, reviews are welcomed and appreciated. Hopefully, I can get the next chapter up either tomorrow or the next day.**


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

**Katniss POV**

The sun was going down, sprinkling little jewels of color across the ground. I looked at the horizon and smiled. The warm glowing orange I saw was Peeta's favorite color. I understood why. It was radiant, something that was natural and could only exist in nature. It was almost as if you could breath it in and capture the heat and brightness inside your body. Just like Peeta. The orange our school boasted as one of its colors could not compare.

I was glad it was the end of the day. I was exhausted. My spine ached in protest every time I bent over and my arms were like heavy weights at my side. Unfortunately, today was a busy day at the stables and the work completely consumed all of my energy. I peered at the edge of the barn where the final bale of hay stood. I groaned and wiped my brow with the back of my hand, frowning as my skin slid smoothly over the area covered with sweat.

I trudged over to the bale and got a good grip on the rope that bound it. I grunted as I lifted, unable to get it up past my knees. I stumbled back into the barn to the area where the hay was stacked neatly into columns. I scanned the lines, determined to find a place other than the top to put my bundle. I found nothing. I sighed and slung the bale up into my arms, stray pieces of hay scratching at my skin. My knees buckled under the weight, but I was resolved to keep going. My muscles stretched and my arms shook as the bale of hay slowly was raised past my head. I was so close, but I felt myself losing balance. I stumbled backwards and fell directly into someone's arms.

"Whoa there, Catnip," Gale said, easily snatching the bale out of my arms and tossing it to the top of the pile. It landed with a distinct thud.

I pouted. "No fair. Why can't I do that?"

"You're welcome," Gale smirked.

"I didn't say thank you," I retorted.

"Well, you should. I did just save you're life," Gale said with a superior tone.

I rolled my eyes. "Oh, please. I was fine."

"You sure about that?"

I stuck out my tongue and took off running past the stalls of various horses. Gale was quick to follow, his swift footsteps falling gently on the dirt floor. I barely made it five stalls down before he overtook me, his arms quickly enclosing around me and sweeping me off my feet. I wasn't really expecting to outrun him. His legs were much longer than mine. I could probably beat him in long distance though. Nonetheless, I struggled in his arms until he placed me carefully back on the ground.

"Come with me," he said before I had a chance to reprimand him. He grabbed my hand and tugged me along, stopping only when we entered the tack room. A small room set off at the end of the aisle, the tack room was one of my favorite places on the farm. It was the room where all the riding equipment was stored. The saddles and bridles all smelled of leather, a delicious and soothing aroma. I had to clean the equipment at least twice a day, but I didn't mind as long as that scent was in the air.

I turned at the sound of a discreet click behind me. Gale stood there, his hand leaving the doorknob. Clearly he had just shut the door behind us and for some reason that made me extremely uncomfortable. "What are you doing?"

Gale raised his eyebrows. "It's the end of the day."

I bit back a sarcastic comment. Of course, it's the end of the day. That wasn't what I asked though. "Yeah. It's time to go home now. I already cleaned the saddles today."

Gale let out a small laugh. "Home's not going anywhere, Catnip. What's the hurry?"

"Come on, Gale. You know I have Prim." I was lying. The real reason I wanted to get home was because I promised Peeta I'd stop by his bakery if I got back before his shift was up. I hadn't been by yet and for some reason he was dying for me to see it. However, I didn't think this excuse would go over that well with Gale.

"And I have Rory. And Vick. And Posy. But you don't see me in a panic to get home."

"You also have your mom," I said with disdain. That sentence alone was enough to put me in a bad mood. I don't resent Gale for having a trustworthy mother, but I couldn't help but be slightly jealous of his situation. His mother didn't let his family fall apart after what happened with our dads. The same couldn't be said of my mother.

Gale sensed my dismay and ran his thumb gently over my cheek, tilting my head up to look at him. "I know you want to protect her, but Prim's not a baby anymore. She can take care of herself, if only for a couple hours."

I sighed. "And what do you want to do instead of going home?"

Gale grinned. "We can stay here."

"You'd rather stay at work? Why?"

"You like it here. You like the horses and the outdoors and the smell of leather…" I looked at him skeptically. Even if that was true, he wasn't making any sense. "It could be fun…"

I realized what he meant only seconds before it happened. Gale's lips were on me before I could suck in a breath, feasting hungrily on my own. It wasn't as uncomfortable as it was when I kissed him at my house, but we had practiced since then. I sighed. Gale apparently was going to take every opportunity that emerged to kiss me.

Gale took my sigh as encouragement and began forcing me backwards without breaking contact with our lips. I followed his lead and allowed my feet to shuffle where he wanted them to go, stopping when I felt pressure at the back of my legs. Gale's hands, which had previously been planted on my cheeks, slowly began to move, tracing down my jaw, my neck, my arms. Carefully he moved them to my backside, tracing over the curve of my butt, squeezing slightly. I stiffened. Gale had never been so forward before.

"Relax," Gale mumbled against my lips before moving his hands down further to grasp my thighs, lifting me effortlessly onto the table situated in the middle of the room. He stepped in between my legs and refocused his attention on my neck, sucking roughly.

I breathed in deeply, reveling the fresh air. I tried to collect my thoughts, but found it impossible. Gale's actions stunned me, leaving me unable to comprehend what was even happening, unable to evaluate if I even wanted this. Without my knowledge that it happened, Gale removed his shirt and was working at the hem of mine, dragging the fabric upward inch by inch, deliberately revealing the skin of my stomach and then my breasts, finally yanking the fabric powerfully over my head.

I found myself lying on my back with Gale above me, muscles straining as he held up his body weight. His eyes were clouded over with lust. I tried to find my voice to tell him to slow down, to stop. To say that I wasn't ready for this and that it felt wrong, though why it felt wrong I didn't know. But before I found my words, Gale descended upon me again, hands shoving themselves under my body to pry my bra away. The article of clothing was flung into the corner of the room. Gale grinned before attaching his mouth to my left nipple while his hand found my other breast, squeezing and prodding at the flesh.

I remained compliant, although I wasn't exactly contributing to the activities. Besides squirming slightly, I remained rather dormant, my hands lying almost lazily at my sides. I couldn't help but think about Gale's skin against mine. His body was warm, too warm. It was almost suffocating me. How did he stand wearing clothes on a daily basis with this kind of body heat? His body was also so much bigger than mine. I felt like a little kid beneath him.

Gale hadn't noticed my distraction and continued to press his body hastily against me. I was alarmed to feel something hard poking at my leg. It made me feel more self-conscious and awkward. I had absolutely no sexual experience. What exactly did Gale expect to happen? And wasn't he worried about us being caught? We'd lose our jobs for sure.

"Gale," I said, planning to point this out to him.

Gale just moaned in response, coming back up to kiss me. His hands traveled south to maneuver his fly of his jeans. My heart rate quickened with my nerves. Gale grabbed my hand and guided it to his crotch, adjusting my fingers so they wrapped around his hardened penis. "Uhh…Katniss," Gale groaned.

I was completely tense now. I had never been in a more uncomfortable position in my life. But still Gale remained unaware of my embarrassment. He just continued with his trajectory, placing his hands now on the edge of my pants, hooking his thumbs underneath the fabric.

"Gale," I tried again, though I admit my voice sounded feeble.

Gale thrust in my hand, clearly losing himself in the sensation. "Katniss," he growled, finally losing patience and ripping my pants open.

This heated action finally knocked enough sense into my brain. I brought both hands up to Gale's chest and heaved, knocking him sideways. He toppled right off of the table and landed sprawled on his back.

"Katniss, what the hell?"

"Stop, Gale. Just stop!" I said feverishly, bringing my arms up to cover my chest. Where the hell did my shirt go?

"Katniss, what's wrong?" Disappointment laced every syllable.

"I just…can't do this right now, Gale," I said, not looking at him. "I'm sorry."

"Why not?"

"It just feels…it's just not the right time," I allowed.

"It's because of _him_, isn't it?" Gale asked, standing up with his pants still loose around his waist.

"What are you talking about?"

"It's because of Baker Boy. You like him, don't you?"

"Peeta?" I said, his name rolling off my tongue without thought. "We're just friends."

Gale snorted. "He does not want to just be your friend."

I really avoided Gale's eyes now. I couldn't argue with that statement. "It doesn't matter what Peeta wants."

"What do _you_ want, Katniss?"

"I – I – " I finally looked up. Gale was standing in front of me with his arms crossed, nostrils flared as though he was a bull ready to charge. I didn't know what to tell him. I didn't know what I wanted. I knew I didn't want _this_ with Gale. I wasn't sure if I could survive a similar encounter again. "I want my shirt back," I said finally.

Gale retrieved my shirt and threw it at me. I graciously skimmed it back onto my body.

"You know that's not what I meant," Gale spoke quietly.

I let out a long breath. "I don't know what to tell you, Gale."

"Tell me you want to be with me," Gale replied fiercely. "Tell me that you don't want Baker Boy. Tell me how you feel, Catnip."

I gaped at Gale. He knew that I didn't do well with emotions and expressing my feelings. Why was he putting me on the spot like this? "I – I – I can't. I'm so confused."

"Fine," Gale snapped. "I'll tell you what I want. I don't want to share you with Baker Boy. I want you to choose me."  
>He paused. I remained silent.<p>

"Which clearly you aren't doing."

"No, Gale. It's not like that." I was close to breaking down and sobbing right in front of him. I did not approve of the direction this conversation had taken. I knew my best friend well and this was going nowhere good.

"You know what, I'm done, Katniss," Gale barked. "I can't deal with this."

"Are you breaking up with me, Gale?" I chided.

"Were we ever really together?"

I bit my lip as Gale snatched his shirt off of the floor and headed towards the door. "Let me know when you're less _confused_."

He left then, leaving me alone to brew in my uncertainty.

**Author's Notes: So there you go, a frustrating but necessary chapter to allow the story to progress. In my head, I really wanted Katniss to simply turn Gale down for Peeta, but we all know she'd never do that. Sorry I didn't update yesterday. I was busy watching the New York Rangers kick some ass in the playoffs. That and the NFL draft. ;) Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter as much as you can. Consider this the low point in Katniss and Peeta's relationship.**


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: I do not own THE HUNGER GAMES. It all belongs to Suzanne Collins.**

Chapter 11

**Peeta POV**

I was leaning against the counter of the bakery, resting my chin in my hand. I stared at the clock on the wall. It was five minutes past closing time. I knew that I should walk over to the store entrance and lock the door, but I stayed stubbornly in my spot. I still had hope that Katniss would show up. I knew that our plans weren't definite, that she'd only promised to stop by if she got off work early enough, but I was hard-pressed to withhold my disappointment. I decided to allow her five more minutes. After that, if Katniss didn't appear, I'd close shop and begin helping my dad prepare for tomorrow's orders.

Ten more minutes went by and I sighed at how pathetic I was, clinging onto a passing statement made by Katniss just because it gave me a possibility of seeing her this afternoon. I tried not to think about whom she actually was spending this time with. I promised myself I wouldn't focus on that anymore and that I'd only concentrate on the time we spent together to make sure I made each minute as meaningful as possible. I briefly wondered if Katniss had noticed a change in my disposition, but I doubted it. Our relationship changed too often for anything to be considered normal.

Another two minutes. The emptiness of the street outside was glaring. I half expected to see a crumpled newspaper roll through the barrenness. This thought was the only thing to push me from my position. I was making my way around the counter when I heard my dad's voice call out from the back of the bakery. "Peeta, can you go grab a bag of flour from out back?"

"Sure thing, Dad," I responded, wiping my hands off on my apron and heading out the door. The bakery wasn't a very big space, so my dad and I decided to build a storage shed for extra supplies at the back of the alleyway next to our store. It was sometimes a hassle running back and forth for ingredients, but it was better than having to order new provisions every other day.

As I turned the corner, I was met with an unpleasant surprise. A tall figure was leaning against the grimy alley wall, arms crossed and head bowed with a dirty look plastered to his face. He was the very last person I wanted to see: Gale Hawthorne.

My body tensed, knowing it was an unavoidable encounter. "What are you doing here?" I asked, trying to keep the venom out of my voice. Besides the fact that he had Katniss, there was no reason for me to dislike the guy. It wasn't his fault that I instantly fell in love with her or that I arrived on the scene too late. In fact, I probably owed him, considering I had kissed his girlfriend twice. I wondered if that was the reason he was here and Katniss wasn't. Maybe she finally confessed and he was here to beat me up. I quickly sized Gale up. He was taller than me and had plenty of lean muscle, but with my strength and wrestling experience, I'd probably be able to take him.

Gale pushed himself off the wall at my voice, casually taking a step forward. "I wanted to talk to you," he said, his voice even and much more calm than it was the last time I had met him.

"What about?"

He hesitated a beat. "Katniss."

I wasn't surprised. What else would he want to talk to me about? But I honestly didn't want to talk to him. He had Katniss and I didn't. What else was there to say?

"Well, I'm sorry. I'm in the middle of a shift right now and I'm kind of busy." I lied, fully aware that he'd see straight through it. I was just hopeful he'd understand the meaning behind it and back off. I tried to step around him, but Gale grabbed the arm of my hurt shoulder. I winced. Gale, realizing what he had done, let go and took a step back, his hands raised in hopes of exoneration.

"Please," Gale muttered.

His tone made me pause. There was a note of desperation in his words that I wouldn't have thought possible from him. The thought made my blood curdle. There was only one thing that could make him sound so despondent.

"What happened to Katniss?" I asked urgently.

Gale's eyes widened temporarily at my question before narrowing in a heated glare. He understood, probably too well, what my words truly denoted, even if Katniss did not. This knowledge angered him, but I wasn't about to retract my statement. Something bad happened and I needed to know what. The question lingered between us unanswered. Gale blinked several times, attempting to rid his face of emotion, to keep his expression neutral. Katniss was much better at it than he was.

"What happened to Katniss?" I repeated.

Gale shook his head and his jaw clenched. I knew that if something serious had happened to Katniss, Gale would get directly to the point, so I elected to let my question slide.

"What do you want with her?" Gale demanded, his words sharp.

"I'm not sure I know what you mean."

"You know exactly what I mean, Mellark," Gale hissed.

I did know what he meant. He wanted to know why I hung around Katniss, how deep my feelings ran. I sucked in a breath, not sure how to respond. Telling Gale the truth would most likely get Katniss in trouble and I didn't want her to feel any more conflicted about seeing me, but I didn't want to lie to him either. I chose a different approach.

"What has Katniss told you?" I asked, each syllable carefully tempered.

Gale tilted his head. "She told me that you are just friends."

"Well, then, maybe you should believe her."

Gale let out a bitter laugh. "We both know that Katniss doesn't have many friends."

"That's only because she doesn't want them."

"And why does she want you?" Gale said, briefly losing his controlled manner. The rage and jealously in his eyes were palpable. I could easily see how he scared boys into staying away from Katniss. However, he didn't frighten me.

"I'm not sure why she's allowed me to be her friend," I conceded. "But I'm trying my best to earn it."

"You understand what being her friend means, right?" Gale took a step toward me and stood up straighter, threatening me with his height. "Katniss has had enough people walk out on her, she doesn't need another. And lets face it; you're going to disappoint her. It's unavoidable. It's just better if you do it now than later."

"I'm not going to hurt her!" I said, defiantly. "I couldn't."

"Then you want to tell me what happened last week?"  
>My eyes automatically swept sideways off Gale's face. I understood that Gale wasn't aware of exactly what transpired between Katniss and me, but I still felt guilty about it. "Last week was more difficult for me than it was for her, believe me. I thought I was doing what was best – I thought I was doing what she wanted. If I had known she would be hurt by it, I would never have done it. It won't happen again."<p>

There was an awkward pause then. All the energy seemed to seep out of Gale who suddenly looked quite deflated, his shoulders sagging with an unknown burden. "You really care about her," Gale said in a defeated voice. I almost wanted to roll my eyes. I might as well have bought a billboard in town declaring my love for Katniss because that's all anyone seemed to want to talk to me about these days. But I wasn't annoyed enough to miss the importance in how Gale stated that sentence. It wasn't a question; it was a fact. It signified that he didn't want to be lied to, that it was going to be an honest conversation, no matter how difficult it was for him to hear.

"Why?" This was an addition to his previous statement. Why did I care about Katniss? How could I even begin to answer that?

"For the same reasons you do, I suppose." Gale and I looked at each other, comprehension dawning upon us as we both came to the same realization. Even if he and I were complete opposites in every other way, we were united on this front. By falling in love with the same girl, we automatically became adversaries. But we also, in a different way, were allies. In the end, we both wanted the same thing: whatever was best for Katniss. We may have dissimilar opinions about what that might be, but we both needed her to be happy. Therefore, we could never truly be enemies.

"You must know that she's not going to settle for being just a baker's girlfriend," Gale said. "She's too special for that."

"She is too special," I agreed wholeheartedly. "And you probably realize, even if she doesn't, that she's too special to stay here for the rest of her life."

I could tell from the sharp angles in his eyebrows that Gale grasped the meaning of my proclamation. I did believe that Katniss was too good to remain in this provincial town, but by saying this, I implied that she was too good to settle for Gale.

Gale became quiet and completely still. I began to get annoyed with this conversation again. Did Gale seriously come all this way to ask why I cared for Katniss? That seemed extremely pointless to me. I was expecting much worse. Perhaps a warning, at the least, to stay away. I already had a rebuttal in my head. I would refuse, of course, by saying I'd be there for Katniss as long as she wanted me. Gale, if he really loved her, couldn't deny her that.

"She's different now," Gale said suddenly. "She's acted differently since she met you. You've changed her."

"How so?" I asked, genuinely interested.

"If you have to ask then you don't know her that well."

I frowned. That wasn't really fair. I hadn't known Katniss as long as Gale had. If she was different before I met her, how could I have noticed that?

"I'm doing my best to change that," I told him truthfully.

"Yeah, I bet you are," Gale huffed. He turned his head away from me, his hands tightening into fists at his side. "She cares about you." The words were forced from his mouth as if they caused him physical pain to say.

I shrugged as if this news didn't mean anything to me when, in truth, my heart was exploding with contentment. It must be true if the statement came from the one person who really didn't want it to be real.

"I don't even think she realizes how much," Gale continued.

"But she loves you," I reminded him, bringing both of us back to the reality of our situation. I cringed at the verity of the sentence and at how pitiful I sounded while saying it. Another round of resentment coursed through my body and I found that I needed Gale to leave. "Why are you here, Gale?"

Gale exhaled, still not looking at me. "I wanted to understand."

"Understand what?"

Gale shook his head again, not wanting to answer my question. "I needed to make sure she's making the right choice."

Again, I had to fight to control my anger. Why was he so sure _he_ was the person for Katniss? I didn't believe that I was necessarily the "right" person for her, but what, compared to Gale, made me unworthy? What did he possibly learn from our brief conversation that proved he was the better man? I took a few breaths through my nose, making sure I was tranquil enough to speak.

"I'm not going to question her decision," I allowed, reminding myself that I agreed to that for Katniss. "I'll be whatever she wants me to be. But I'll always be there for her and I hope you won't stand in the way of that. I don't believe it would do anything but harm Katniss."

"She deserves better than you," said Gale, his voice inheriting a despairing edge.

"She deserves better than you, too," I practically whispered.

Gale shook his head one last time and backed away down the alley, hands stuffed into the pockets of his jeans. I watched him walk away, a perplexed expression gracing my face.  
>Just before he was about to round the corner, Gale turned back. "Just don't break her." He spoke in, what seemed to me, a sad voice. I didn't understand. This entire conversation was convoluted.<p>

I realized that I had been missing from the bakery for a long time now and my dad was probably wondering where I went. I shook my head, attempting to rid it of Gale's visit. His presence still seemed to linger in the alleyway and his words still did not seem to want to make sense in my mind. I hurried over to the shed, unlocked it, and tossed a bag of flour onto my shoulder, its weight there now a familiar comfort. I walked swiftly back down the alley, my footsteps echoing in the dim space.

My brain was still trying to decipher Gale's enigmatic comments when I opened the door to the bakery. I was so preoccupied that I almost dropped the bag of flour when I noticed the person standing up against the counter. A braid down her back and hands twisting around each other uncomfortably, she was as beautiful as ever.

"Katniss," I said, shocking her into movement. She jumped and spun around to face me, her features visibly relaxing when she learned it was just me. "What are you doing here?"

"Peeta," she said in a rush, her voice frantic. "I – I need to talk to you."

**Author's Notes: This chapter was the hardest to write and I'm still not sure if I like it, but I needed to move on. I'm finally at the parts that I'm excited to write! For the next chapter, I can't decide if I should write it in Katniss or Peeta's POV. So let me know your opinion on the matter and I'll write it with the general consensus. I'll give you guys until tomorrow to decide before I start writing. Thanks so much!**


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

**Peeta POV**

I stood frozen in the doorway, struggling to get over the shock of seeing Katniss standing in the bakery waiting for me. Every time I saw her, she took my breath away and this moment was no different. Her cheeks were flushed and she tugged at the end of her braid absentmindedly. But it was the slight glaze to her eyes the worried me. My thoughts immediately returned to Gale's mysterious visit and how despairing he sounded when he first approached me. I fought the urge to go and wrap my arms around her. It was the only way I could think to comfort her when I didn't know what was wrong.

"I'm sorry," Katniss spoke, pulling me from my internal struggle. "You're busy. I – I should go."

"No," I said quickly, taking a step further into the store. "I'm really not busy. If you want to talk, then please, lets talk."

"Are you sure?" Katniss asked me timidly. "At least put down that bag of flour. It looks really heavy."

I laughed as I walked by her toward the back of the bakery, but didn't contradict her. I'd let her believe what she wanted, but the bags of flour stopped seeming heavy to me years ago. Also, there was a small part of me that hoped she was impressed by my strength.

"I'll be right back," I told her. "Just let me tell my dad that I'll be stepping out for a while."

Katniss nodded, though I wasn't sure she truly heard me. Her eyes were focused on the display she stood behind and she returned to nervously wringing her hands together. I pushed myself faster through the bakery, anxious to discover what Katniss found so troubling.

The back of the bakery was concealed behind a velvet curtain my mother had chosen. I forced the ugly cloth aside to reveal my father standing at one of the large metallic counters scattering the room. His big weathered hands pressed repeatedly into the soft dough he was kneading. It was a technique he perfected and taught me many years ago. Flour dusted his hair and eyebrows making him appear older than he actually was. When he heard me approaching, he looked up and gave me a warm smile, his eyes wrinkling at the corners. "Ah, there's that bag I've been looking for."

"Sorry, Dad," I said, plopping the bag onto the counter, making the stray flour fly up and cloud the air. "I got distracted."

"By a pretty girl?"

"What?" I stammered.

"Is she the reason you left the store open after closing?" My dad questioned. I just stared at him, unsure what to say. My dad chuckled. "It's okay, Peet. She came in and I told her she could wait there for you."

"Thanks," I murmured.

"She really is quite pretty. I can see why you'd be fond of her," my dad said with a smile.

I was positive my face was bright red at this point. While I was appreciative that my dad liked Katniss, I wasn't comfortable discussing this with him. And honestly, how many awkward conversations would I have to sit through today?

"Right," I said hastily. "Listen, Dad, I know I'm supposed to help with all of this and I will, but…Katniss…she wants…"

"Go."

"What?"

"Go, Peeta. You're young and you work too hard. Go have fun with her. I have everything under control here. There's no need to stay."

"Thanks, Dad." I offered my dad a grateful smile. He was genuinely a kind, warmhearted man. I was thankful my mother had already left for the day. With her present, Katniss wouldn't even have been allowed to stand in the store unless she was buying something. The stark differences between my parents alarmed me. One thing was for certain, though; my dad deserved better.

Katniss had not moved an inch when I reappeared. When I reached her side, she looked up as if surprised to find me standing there. I had never seen her so preoccupied. I badly wanted to delve deep into her mind and chase away all of her worrisome demons. I settled for squeezing her shoulder gently.

"Katniss?"

Katniss bit her lower lip. I tried my best not to focus on the alluring action. I understood why she was nervous. She knew my father was here and she obviously didn't wish to be overheard.

"Come on." I grabbed her hand and started dragging her toward the door. "We don't have to stay here."

Katniss allowed herself to be led away. Once outside, I was surprised when Katniss didn't pull her hand out of mine. I wasn't going to be the one to break our warm connection, so I simply followed Katniss as she turned right down the street.

We moved in silence through the neighborhood, the only sound was our footfalls on the pavement. The longer the silence was drawn out, the harder I had to fight to stop myself from pushing her against the side of a building and demand she tell me what was wrong. Katniss' pain was my pain. There was nothing more I wanted in that moment than to see her smile again. But I knew Katniss. She'd speak when she was ready.

"I'm sorry I dragged you away from work," Katniss said quietly.

"You're lucky that I was still there," I said jokingly in an attempt to lighten the mood. "When I told you to visit me in the bakery I didn't mean to sneak into the shop after closing time."

Katniss frowned. "The door was unlocked."

"I know, Katniss. I'm kidding. I was the one who told you to come visit me, remember?"

Katniss remained quiet, which was only slightly infuriating at this point. I'm a patient person, but she had to realize what she was doing to me.

"Why were you so late? Did you have a lot of work to do?"

"No," said Katniss. "No, it wasn't work. I just – walked."

"You walked? From the stables?"

"Well, normally Gale would give me a ride, but he left without me."

_To come and see me_, I thought. I wondered if she knew that was what Gale had done. It was a miracle that they hadn't run into each other at the bakery. I couldn't believe that Gale had left Katniss to her own devices. I would have been angrier than I was during that conversation if I had known Gale had taken away Katniss' ride home. He seriously was not a very considerate boyfriend.

"I'm sorry that Gale left you there."

"I'm not," Katniss spat. "I did not want to go home with him today."

_So they got into an argument_. This information made the entire afternoon come into clearer focus. Gale must've felt vulnerable after their fight and came to me to reestablish his dominant position in our dynamic. He must've known that Katniss would come straight to me. It was like I was her back up boyfriend. When things didn't go smoothly with Gale, I'd be there to comfort her. I suddenly became painfully aware of our hands still entwined together. This action was only to spite Gale. She was angry with him and would do anything to get back at him for whatever he did. I did not appreciate this. I was not some toy to be flung in front of her boyfriend's face. I wasn't here to make him jealous. Still, I didn't have the willpower to pull my hand away.

Katniss seemed to have reached her destination: an old park called The Meadow that adorned a rusted playground and a giant field that needed the grass to be mown. The place was mercifully empty. Together, we slowly walked toward the swing set, kicking up dirt with our feet. Katniss stopped in front of one of the swings and grabbed onto the corroded chain.

"My sister and I used to come here as kids," she said slowly. "It was better kept back then."

"I wish I could have seen it," I said honestly. It was a pretty place and I could picture the field covered in flowers in the springtime.

"Why?" Katniss asked, tilting her head up at me.

"This place seems important to you. Why wouldn't I want to see it?"

"The bakery is important to you," she insisted, "and we didn't even stay there for five minutes."

"That's only because you wanted to talk," I said gently, not understanding what she was getting so worked up about. "I mean, you do want to talk, right?"

She nodded slowly.

"Are you going to tell me what you want to talk about?"

* * *

><p><strong>Katniss POV<strong>

I didn't answer Peeta's question. Probably because I didn't know the answer to it. My mind was still reeling from this afternoon. My breakup with Gale was sudden and unexpected but I was surprised to find myself rather indifferent about it. I cared deeply about Gale, so shouldn't I be holed up somewhere now practically in tears? Well, not exactly. I wasn't that type of girl. But still, shouldn't I be upset or in pain? That was the reason I wanted to stay away from relationships in the first place: to avoid that pain I felt when my dad left, the pain that crippled my mother at his disappearance. But I couldn't help but to feel relieved, as if a heavy weight had been lifted from my shoulders. Perhaps I had shut myself from the world for so long that my heart was no longer capable of feeling discomfort. But that wasn't it either. I was upset about what happened between Gale and me, about what almost occurred. And I was upset about what he insinuated about Peeta and me. Was that the reason I couldn't tell Gale what he wanted to hear? Is that why our breakup didn't leave me broken hearted? Did I like Peeta?

It was hard to say for sure. All of this just snuck up on me. I felt as if I was dropped in the middle of a maze and I was struggling for a way out. Boys weren't something I had ever thought about before and I never planned on it being an issue. If I was smart, I would stick to my original plan and stay away from the lot of them. But here I was, standing in the middle of The Meadow with Peeta, a place I had never been with anyone outside of my family. What did that mean? I had brought him here without a second thought. It didn't feel like an intrusion, I was happy to share this place with him because he was right; it was a special place to me. Did that mean Peeta was special to me?

I sighed internally. Of course he was. He was my friend after all. That alone made him special. But just how much did I care for Peeta? Too much. More than I ever planned on caring for him. After all, didn't I just go running to him when things became too difficult to handle alone? I was shocked when I found myself outside of the bakery. I hadn't noticed where I was going until I got there. My subconscious was obviously trying to tell me something that my cognizant mind couldn't figure out.

"Katniss?"

I hadn't realized how long I remained silent. My thoughts were overwhelming causing a painful drumming on my temples. I looked down at Peeta's hand still clasped around mine. I wondered why I hadn't removed my hand yet. If I had to be completely honest, I enjoyed the feeling of holding Peeta's hand. It was warm and comforting; it anchored me to the world. It let me know that Peeta was there, that I was safe and loved. It was a feeling I haven't felt since before my family was shattered. This vagrant thought brought me to my senses and I softly extracted my hand from his grasp.

"You like me?" I said quietly, looking up into Peeta's blue eyes that were full of concern.

His mouth curled up at the corners. "Of course I like you, Katniss. We're friends."

"No," I shook my head, sitting down on one of the swings. Peeta sat on the one next to me, his arms looping around the chains easily. "You _like _me." I stressed my meaning.

I waited for him to respond. Peeta didn't look at me. His eyes were focused intently on the swirled patterns he drew in the dirt with his sneakers, his swing slightly moving back and forth.

"Why are we talking about this, Katniss?" he whispered. "You already know the answer."

"Please," I whimpered. "I just – I need to hear it. I need to understand."

Peeta's head snapped up at my words and his eyes narrowed. I could almost see the thoughts rushing through his head. Finally, Peeta let out a long sigh, his eyes full of pain. I was being selfish making him talk about this when he clearly wanted to avoid the topic. But Peeta would give me anything I wanted. "Yes, Katniss, I like you."

I swallowed at his words, an unknown feeling exploding in my stomach, like things were bouncing up and down inside me. Peeta's gaze was penetrating and I couldn't find it within myself to look away.

"How come?" I demanded. "I've been nothing but horrible to you."

"You don't actually believe that, do you?"

My silence was the only response. I did believe that. I had been extremely self-centered, ignoring Peeta's feelings and requiring him to be there for me when I never was for him. I abused our friendship and the knowledge of his emotions.

Peeta sighed again and grabbed onto the chain of my swing, twisting it slightly so I was facing him. "You have not been horrible to me, Katniss," he said sternly. "You want to know why I like you? You're beautiful. And kind, and caring, and humble, and brave, and strong, and selfless. You put other people's happiness above your own. How could I not like someone like that?"

While I disagreed with Peeta's statement, I could feel myself blushing and I couldn't help the small smile that landed on my face. No one had ever said such kind things to me before. It was slightly overpowering.

"But I've been unfair to you," I asserted. "Asking you to be my friend when you wanted so much more."

"You were never dishonest with me," Peeta argued. "I understood what I was getting myself into. It's just better for me to have you in my life in some way than to not have you there at all."

I shook my head, not wanting to believe him. Peeta always knew exactly what to say. Words always flew so elegantly out of his mouth.

"Is this what has been bothering you?" Peeta asked. "You feel guilty about being my friend?"

"Yes – no…I just don't know if I can offer you anything more. I'm not sure if I can give you what you deserve."

"I haven't asked for anything more. I respect your boundaries, Katniss. I know you have a boyfriend and – "

"I don't," I cut him off.

"What?"

"I – I don't have a boyfriend," I stated. "Gale – he broke up with me."

I held my breath as a myriad of emotions passed across Peeta's face. He wasn't quick enough to hide his initial smile, but it soon vanished after he realized that was probably an inappropriate response to my news. A fleeting look of understanding that confused me spread in his eyes, but was quickly replaced with a solemn expression.

"When?" he asked quietly.

"This afternoon."

Peeta brought his swing even closer to mine. "I'm so sorry, Katniss. I wish you told me sooner. Are you okay?"

I shrugged. "I'm fine."

Peeta frowned. Clearly he thought my composure was just an act. "Is this what you wanted to talk about? I can be here for you. You _can_ talk to me about this."

I raised my eyebrow at him, not questioning his genuineness but rather his ability to listen to me talk about Gale. Not that I was going to. That would make me an even more selfish person than I already was. How awful a person would I be if I spoke to Peeta about my misery over another boy? I could live a thousand lifetimes and never deserve him. He was so inherently good.

"Really, Peeta. I'm fine. It's just…something that Gale said got me thinking."

"Thinking about what?" Peeta's curiosity was innocent and obvious.

Again, I was stuck answering his question. Gale's entire rant about Peeta and what I wanted made me question my actions for the entire month. At this point, it was pointless to fight the fact that I cared about Peeta. It was an inevitable part of who I was now. He had touched me in a deep and sacred place of my soul. He had burrowed so far within me that no matter what happened from this moment on, I would think and worry about him. When I was with him, I was happier, my whole day was brighter. A warmth flowed out of me and I suddenly viewed my life as full of possibilities instead of improbabilities.

At this point, I needed Peeta in my life. In what way, I was unsure. I thought back to the kisses we shared. I wasn't aware that anything could make me feel so good. The more I thought about them, the more I wanted to do it again. That insatiable hunger was probably the answer to my question. I did like Peeta. Now a new question surfaced in my mind. What was I going to do about it?

Peeta was undoubtedly going to leave at the end of the school year. His brothers had gone to college, so why wouldn't he? I wouldn't be able to go with him. The thought of not being around him left a hole in my chest even now. How would I handle it if we went out? Although, I guess I'd be distraught either way. I might as well enjoy the next couple of months while I could. I earned that, right? Perhaps not, but it was getting harder to fight. Now that I acknowledged my true feelings, it was all that I could do not to throw my arms around him. I stood up and turned away from him to avoid doing anything imprudent.

I couldn't be with Peeta. I couldn't. He deserved a girl who was whole and wouldn't hide from him, someone who could conquer the world with him. I would only hold him back. But even as I said this to myself, I knew that I wasn't going to listen. Because I was selfish. Because I was weak. Because I could feel my foundation crumbling as I heard Peeta stand up and take a step toward me. So when his hand touched my shoulder to spin me around to face him, I fell easily into his chest. I tilted my head and found my way to his lips. My hands slid up to the back of his head and I deliberately pressed my lips harder against his, savoring the feeling. His lips were soft and pliable as they moved against mine and for one minute I was blissfully content. But then Peeta pulled away and stood me so I was an arms length away from his body.

"Katniss, don't."

An immediate sense of rejection overwhelmed me and I yanked myself away from Peeta's grasp. I began to run away, fighting the tears in my eyes as I stumbled through the overgrown field. I heard Peeta yelling for me to stop, but I wasn't going to. I didn't understand it. I couldn't comprehend why he would stop me. Had he been lying to me all this time? What was the point? I had never been so humiliated in my life. I wanted to curl up in some corner and hide from the world. Never again would I listen to my heart. Never again would I be that vulnerable.

I felt my foot become trapped by a ditch hidden beneath the grass and I went tumbling down to the ground, scraping my knees and hands in the process. My stumble allowed Peeta to catch up to me and he grabbed my wrist as he sat down beside me, not allowing me to escape again. I refused to look at him though.

"Katniss…"

"Peeta, stop! Just leave me alone! I get it – I mean, I don't really get it, but – "

"Katniss, look at me." He reached out and collected my chin in his hand, forcing my head toward him. It was hard to look him in the eye as a stray tear escaped my control. Peeta carefully wiped it away with his thumb. I hated the feeling of warmth I got from his touch.

"Katniss, I couldn't let you do that," he said softly. "I would have been taking advantage of you."

"I kissed you, Peeta." I rolled my eyes.

"You didn't know what you were doing," he said. "You're emotional. You just broke up with your boyfriend. You don't know what you want."

I huffed. "You can't tell me what I do and do not want."

Peeta gave me a small smile. "Katniss, I don't think you understand how much I want you. But not like this. I want you to be sure of your decision. So if, after you've really thought about it, you decide you want me too, I'll be here."

His hand was still caressing my cheek and I leaned into it. My anger had melted away even faster than it came on. This was what made Peeta so exceptional. He was noble and chivalrous, maybe too much for his own good. My heart swelled at his virtuousness. I could feel my rational thought ebbing away leaving room for my instincts to take over. I moved closer to Peeta until I was kneeling next to him.

"I thought about it," I whispered into his ear. I watched gleefully as goose bumps appeared on his neck. "I choose you."

Peeta brought his eyes to meet mine, searching to see if I was telling the truth. I could see he wanted to argue again; he sucked in a breath and opened his mouth in preparation for it. But I kissed him before he got the chance. This time he didn't pull away.

**Author's Notes: I apologize profusely for taking ages to come out with this chapter. Unfortunately, my life is crazy at the moment and will continue to be until the 18th. After that I'll be able to update at my usual pace. Just be extra patient until then please.**

**I hope this chapter was worth the wait. I gave you both POVs seeing as the vote was so close. Thanks for all of your input.**

**For those who haven't given up on me, I'd love to hear what you thought of this chapter. It was hard to write considering we never get to see how Katniss realizes her feelings in the books. I hope it stayed as true to character as possible.**


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer: I do not own THE HUNGER GAMES. It all belongs to Suzanne Collins.**

Chapter 13

**Katniss POV**

Weeks had passed since I kissed Peeta and my life hadn't changed much. I still went to school and work everyday and I still hated it. Peeta and I were not together, much to my original chagrin. I didn't want to say that Peeta rejected me, because he didn't. Not really.

After giving me the most moving and satisfying kiss of my life, Peeta had pulled away and gently ran his thumb against my lower lip. "That was amazing," he whispered in a low rumbly voice. I smiled, my eyes still closed, attempting to savor the moment. "But it still doesn't change what I said."

I leaned back and fixed him with an intimidating glare, my brow furrowed. "Peeta, I told you – "

"I know what you said." Peeta didn't allow me to interrupt. "Please, Katniss. I'm not trying to tell you what you want and I'm not saying this can't happen. I just want – I _need_ you to be one hundred percent sure about this. I don't want you to regret this decision. I don't want you to regret me."

"Peeta, I wouldn't. I won't."

Peeta slowly shook his head. "The boy you claim to love just broke up with you. Even if you end up happy with me, you'll regret how it happened, when it happened. You would never be certain that your decision was pure. So just do me a favor and think about it for a while. Please?"

I stared disbelievingly at him. I couldn't believe that Peeta, the boy who I knew liked me from practically our first meeting, was asking _me_ to _delay_ the start of our relationship. Although I didn't understand it, I couldn't deny him anything, not after the way I had treated him. After all, he had never asked me for anything before. I begrudgingly nodded my head.

And though I was reluctant to admit it, Peeta had done me a favor on that day because as soon as I was out of his presence, my brain rebooted and I realized how foolish I was being. All my reservations about relationships had not changed or disappeared. I simply disregarded them every time I was with Peeta. And thus I began an internal war with myself. Every moment spent with Peeta was enjoyable. Each smile he gave me sent a warm, tickling sensation through my body that tightened my chest. It was impossible to not return these smiles with one of my own. In these instances, the only thing stopping me from latching my lips onto his was the promise I made to him about waiting and thinking my decision through. However, whenever Peeta left my side, my logical self reemerged and I would wonder why I would want to take such a risk. My instincts then were to run and put as much distance between Peeta and myself as possible. It was a never-ending cycle of doubts and lacks of judgments.

Apparently, my inner battle had not gone unnoticed by my peers. I subconsciously felt people's eyes on Peeta and me as we walked the halls together, a long chain of whispers floating behind in our wake. I was suspicious of how they knew that Peeta and my dynamic had changed and that we were on the cusp of a relationship, but perhaps I was over exaggerating people's reactions because I was hyperaware of the sexual tension between us. So I pushed these thoughts aside until Madge started scolding me at lunch one day.

"So are you ever going to tell me?"

"Tell you what?" I asked, my eyes already scanning the cafeteria for signs of Peeta.

"About you and Peeta."

"Nothing's going on with Peeta and me," I tried feebly.

Madge snorted. "Right. And that's why the entire school can't stop talking about you two."

I gaped at her, surprised at her sarcastic tone and slightly jealous at how attuned she was to the happenings of our daily lives. Not that I cared or wanted to know about these things, but if I had that ability maybe I wouldn't always be caught so unaware. Madge looked at me with her eyes hard and I sighed. Even though she was putting up a tough exterior, I knew my friend was hurt that I wasn't telling her the truth.

"It's complicated," I allowed.

"What's complicated?" Madge said in a much sweeter though annoyed voice, now that she realized I was about to open up. "He clearly likes you. And you like him. Don't you dare try to say you don't." She quickly looked down, her cheeks flushed, clearly thinking she had overstepped her boundaries.

"I – I wasn't going to," I said while my cheeks burned red and I tucked my chin to my chest. "I like him. A lot." It was the first time I had admitted it out loud and the pure sincerity of the statement frightened me. It brought back all my qualms I had about getting into a relationship with Peeta that I had been debating constantly in my head.

"So what's the problem?" Madge asked innocently.

How could I even begin to explain all of my reservations to Madge? She wouldn't understand how liking him was part of the problem. I saw firsthand how love could destroy a life. I had to look no farther than my mother, who crumbled into ashen pieces when my dad left and still remained only a shadow of the person she used to be. Love made a person weak and vulnerable and I vowed that I would never give a person that much control over me. I didn't want to get attached; I didn't want to need a person. It would only wind up breaking me. I didn't think I could handle another person I cared about leaving me. I decided to give Madge the simplest of my worries.

"It's senior year, Madge," I began. "It's not exactly like Peeta's going to hang around after graduation. Whatever I might have with Peeta, there is no way for it to end well. So what's the point?"

Madge was quiet for a while, which was not abnormal in our relationship. We both knew not to push each other too far when it came to talking about our emotions. Finally, she looked at me warily. "Katniss, can I give some advice?"

I nodded hesitantly, afraid of what she had to say.

"You're thinking too much. This thing with Peeta, it's not about logic or reason. And it's not meant to be easy. The best things in life never are. So just stop listening to your brain so much and start listening to your heart."

* * *

><p>It was nearing the end of October, which meant warm days were dwindling as the leaves of the trees changed colors to striking reds, oranges, and yellows. Peeta and I took advantage of an unseasonably balmy afternoon by heading out to the rusted bleachers of the football field during our free period. We hiked halfway up the seats before Peeta plopped down and lounged vertically across a bench, bringing his arm up to shield his eyes from the sun. I remained standing and hopped from one bench to the other, testing my balance.<p>

"Are you going to football today?" I questioned Peeta.

"Yup. Have to practice if we are going to win states."

I let out a puff of air, disbelievingly. "I've never even seen you play."

"Well, you're running out of time." Peeta smiled from underneath his arm. "The postseason starts soon so maybe you should actually come to a game one of these days."

"But I thought you said your team will be going to states," I teased.

"We will." Peeta's voice was definitive.

"If you're so sure, I'll wait until then to see you play. I'm a very busy girl, you know. I can only make time to attend the most important games."

"I didn't realize your time is so valuable," Peeta smirked. "But it's your loss."

I shrugged and fell into the seat next to him, swinging my legs up over his own so I could lay down opposite him. "Do you like it here?"

"Here as in this town?" Peeta asked, having difficulties following my line of thought.

"No. I mean do you like being on the football field, having people in the stands watching you preform?"

"Preform?" I could hear the skepticism in his voice.

"You know what I mean."

Peeta sighed and finally sat up so he was now looking down at me. He pondered my question, blinking several times to clear his head. "Yeah, I do. But it's not the crowd. I don't need people cheering me on. I don't want to be anyone's hero. I just like being a part of something. I love feeling as though what I contributed really made a difference."

"But don't you feel that way when you wrestle? In that sport, what you do directly impacts the outcome. After all, it's just you out there."

"Exactly," Peeta argued. "Wrestling is not a team sport. When you win on a team, it means more. You have people to share it with and who understand all the hard work it took to get there."

"I guess."

"It's also nice knowing someone has your back out there and that you're not alone."

I frowned at this statement.

"You look unconvinced," Peeta noted.

I shrugged again, not wanting to take away from his beliefs. The truth was, I didn't believe that anyone truly had another person's back in the real world. Why would that change on a sports team? It's true that you are working for the same goal, but on a team there could still be selfish players. And what happens when you leave the field? People go right back to treating others like dirt.

"Why do you like football then?" Peeta pried.

"Everyone is equal on a football field," I said quietly. "It's not like that in the real world. The law doesn't treat everyone the same. Society doesn't treat everyone the same. Life is not fair, but on a football field it is. There, it doesn't matter how much money you have or how good looking you are. If you make a mistake, you're called out on it and you pay the price. The winner is determined by natural ability and how hard each player is willing to work. That's how it should be. But what you're talking about…that's the reason I could never play team sports. I'd rather just do everything myself. How can you count on anyone to not make mistakes?"

"You trust your teammates," Peeta insisted.

"That's easier said than done," I grumbled. "It's hard for me to trust anyone."

"Do you trust me?"

I sat up so that I was face to face with Peeta, staring into those beautiful blue eyes I had yet to become accustomed to. Our bodies were only a few inches apart since I was basically straddling him, but neither him nor I minded the proximity. I felt that excited rush flow rapidly through my veins, the energy palpitating in my heart. I looked over his entire face, finally resting back on his eyes. He was looking back at me curiously, his breath even with mine.

Did I trust Peeta? Trust was something I had difficulties with. It took me years to trust Gale and I didn't even trust my own mother, not after the way she abandoned my sister and me. It wasn't fair that Peeta was asking me this question. So I was surprised by the immediateness of my answer. Yes, I trusted Peeta. In fact, I doubted there was a person on this planet I trusted more than the boy who sat in front of me. The reasons for this blind trust were unclear, but I had never been more certain of anything in my life.

"Yes," I whispered. "I trust you." And from this awareness, my worries suddenly became less worrisome. I liked Peeta. I trusted him. If there was anyone I could give my heart to, it would be him. I thought back to Madge's advice and allowed my brain to shut down and instincts to take over. At this point, my instincts were screaming Peeta's name.

I could tell that Peeta sensed the change that came over me. His eyes widened and his even breath faltered slightly. He shifted in his seat, rocking forward gently as he raised one hand to brush the wisp of hair that always escaped my braid out of my face. The feather light touch of his fingertips against my cheek sent a shock akin to a bolt of lighting straight to my core. He then proceeded to lock his fingers around the back of my neck and I could feel the strength in them. His tongue darted out to wet his lips, which automatically drew my attention to them. He was going at a tantalizing slow pace, but I understood. He wanted to make sure. He wanted to know he wasn't going to scare me back into my shell where I armed myself against every possible intruder. But I was done with hiding; I was done with suppressing and fighting and rationalizing my feelings for him. I just needed to let him know that.

I brought my own hand up to rest upon his, squeezing softly. I looked him straight in the eye, making sure I had his full attention. "No regrets," I said firmly.

That was all the encouragement Peeta needed. His grip tightened as he pulled my head forward, our tongues tangling together as soon as our lips met. This kiss was fiery and all consuming, awakening a need in me that I was unaware I had. I wanted more of Peeta, to be closer to him, to touch every inch of him that I could reach. Peeta, I could tell, felt the same. One of his large hands was splayed against my back and pushed me closer so I was essentially in his lap. I secured my legs around his torso and my arms around his neck, pressing my entire body into his. I smiled into the kiss when I started to feel him getting excited beneath me. This knowledge was empowering and turned me on, especially when he let out an enticing moan when I rubbed against him.

Peeta moved from my lips, to the line of my jaw, to my neck, which he started to suck greedily. I tilted my head back to give him better access, biting down hard on my lip to impede any unwanted noises from escaping my mouth. Unfortunately, the unwanted noise didn't come from me. It didn't come from Peeta either. A deep-throated cough from behind me made me search over my shoulder for the disturbance. I managed to locate Haymitch Abernathy, the town drunk, standing at the edge of the bleachers with his arms crossed and eyebrows arched.

"Peeta," I whispered, for he was still assaulting my neck, oblivious to our intruder. I gave him a small shove. "Peeta!"

Peeta pulled back and looked at me apologetically, supposing that he did something wrong. I shook my head and pointed to where Haymitch stood. I was too embarrassed at being caught in such a compromising position to turn back to him. I did manage to swing my legs off of Peeta so I was at least sitting the correct way on the bleachers now.

"What are you doing here, Coach?" Peeta demanded somewhat aggressively, considering we had been caught making out and Haymitch was not doing anything wrong. I looked up at Peeta's face. He was glaring at Haymitch with his eyebrows furrowed. I had to suppress a smile at how irritated he looked. When Peeta caught me staring at him, he tugged me so I was leaning against him and wrapped his arms around me waist. I sighed quietly at the action.

"I would ask you the same question," Haymitch slurred, "but I guess I already know the answer." Haymitch smirked at me, causing me to blush and drop his gaze again. "Is she the girl who has been screwing with your game, boy?"

"Sure, Coach," said Peeta, rolling his eyes. "This is Katniss Everdeen."

"His girlfriend," I supplied, the words slipping from my mouth before I had a chance to consider stopping them.

Haymitch chuckled. "You might want to tell him that, sweetheart. Doesn't seem as though he knew."

Haymitch calling me sweetheart rubbed me the wrong way, but I turned to look at Peeta instead of replying. His mouth was wide open and he looked down at me incredulously. I wasn't sorry for my words and I meant them. This was the beginning for Peeta and me and it was terrifying and exciting at the same time. I wanted Peeta to know that it was real and that I wasn't just saying it for Haymitch's benefit. So I simply reached up and planted a kiss on his cheek. It was the best I could do with Haymitch staring at us. Peeta touched the spot and beamed down at me before turning his attention back to Haymitch.

"What are you doing here, Coach?" Peeta repeated, although now his voice was much more curious than it was hostile. "You're usually fifteen minutes late to practice and now you're three hours early?"

"I just needed to get something from my stash," Haymitch grunted, rummaging through his pockets for something. He pulled out a small key and stuffed it into the padlock on the small wooden shed that stood at the side of the bleachers. Once the doors opened, he disappeared inside, reemerging with various bottles of liquor before stuffing them in the gym bag that was slung over his shoulder.

"You hide alcohol on school grounds?" I asked, my voice more cutting than I meant it to be.

"What's it to you, sweetheart?" Haymitch asked.

I scowled at him, secretly wanting to lunge at him for calling me that again. This was my first interaction with the town drunk and I could honestly say I wasn't a fan.

"You think that's the best idea?" Peeta intervened. "You know they don't even want you drinking that stuff when you're around minors. Hiding booze where kids spend most of their day probably falls under the same category. They could have you for this."

Haymitch waved off Peeta's concerns. "This shed is for the use of the football coach and this is how I'm choosing to use it. It's not exactly as though I asked for this job so I might as well enjoy the perks. Besides, it's always locked up and I'm the only one with the key. No one is breaking in there because everyone thinks it's full of old and smelly football equipment. And nobody's going to find out what's actually in there." Haymitch looked pointedly at Peeta and me. "Or else I might have to let slip that you two were have sex on the bleachers during school hours."

"We were not having sex!" I screeched.

"Semantics," Haymitch said. "Anyway, from what I saw, that's where it was headed if I hadn't come and stopped you."

I opened my mouth to argue, furious at his insinuations, but Peeta tenderly squeezed my hand in an effort to calm me down to allow him to speak. I slumped against him in a defeated manner.

"We'll keep your secret, Haymitch," Peeta said coolly. "Just be sober enough to help us win a state championship this year."

Haymitch stared at us for a few more seconds with a slight ache in his expression before turning away, mumbling, "I'll see what I can do."

**Author Notes: Finally! An update! I know you guys all secretly want to kill me for taking so long. I completely understand any annoyance you have with me. So thank you, thank you for being extremely patient! But the good news is that my life has finally calmed down so my updates should be similar to how they were before.**

**It was difficult to start writing again after I took such a long break so I apologize if this chapter wasn't up to my usual standard. It was also hard to find the right place to end the chapter. I originally had the beginning of the next chapter at the end of this one but I decided it didn't fit right.**

**As always, reviews are appreciated. For all of those who have done so already, I can't thank you enough. And for those of sent me PMs asking for updates just know that your interest helped me persevere through my busy life and my troubles writing this chapter. :)**

**Now off to Madison Square Garden to watch the Ranger game tonight. Soo excited!**


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

**Peeta POV**

I squinted my eyes against the early morning light, my pupils declining to adjust to the sun's glaring rays. It was probably because I hadn't gotten much sleep the night before. My body refused to shut down after yesterday's revelation. When I heard Katniss call herself my girlfriend, I had to do a double take. She said it so calmly, so frankly, as though it was the most obvious thing in the world. At first I thought she was saying it because of Haymitch, to explain the position that he caught us in. A part of me still believed that. But when I looked into her stormy eyes, I knew she spoke her heart. I hadn't been able to settle the butterflies in my stomach since.

Katniss Everdeen was my girlfriend. _My _girlfriend. I was hesitant to trust the words because, honestly, it was too good to be true. Nothing felt real and I wouldn't have been surprised if I woke up in a few minutes flicking crust away from my eyes and realizing it was all a dream. I was anxious for Katniss' arrival, both needing and dreading her appearance. She would either confirm yesterday's statement or repudiate it. I tried to convince myself that I would be fine with either decision as long as it was what she wanted, but I knew I'd be heartbroken if she came and told me she hadn't meant what she said. I was so nervous that my hands began to shake slightly. I wrung them together to fight the trembles.

I waited with bated breath until I finally saw her figure making its way around the corner and toward the high school, her braid swishing, as always, across her back. The sight of her relaxed me and I felt my face fall into an easy smile. I was unsure if I imagined Katniss quicken her pace when she spotted me, but before I knew it, she was standing a few feet in from of me, eyes shimmering and cheeks colored from the cool air.

"Hi," I said in a low voice.

"Hi," she breathed out.

We stood there for a few moments looking awkwardly at each other, silence enveloping us. It was perhaps the first time in my life where I could think of absolutely nothing to say. Panic bubbled in my chest threatening to spill over at any moment while I thought of how royally I was screwing things up already. However, before I had the opportunity to start spitting out shameful apologies, Katniss took a step forward and slyly slipped her elegant hand into my own. She squeezed my hand tightly and looked me straight in the eye.

"No regrets," she repeated her proclamation from yesterday.

I allowed a breath of relief to escape through my teeth. "No regrets," I echoed.

I pulled her to me to give her a small peck on the lips before she tugged me away to math class. I was grinning like an idiot, but I couldn't see a way to stop that. People in the halls were looking at Katniss and me again, but it didn't bother me. In fact, I welcomed it. I wanted everyone to see us together; I wanted everyone to see that Katniss was mine.

I, on the other hand, could see nothing but Katniss. My gaze never flickered from her face the entire day. I loved watching her long, lush eyelashes skim her cheeks when she lowered her eyes. I loved how she drummed her fingertips against the desk when she was bored in class and how she curled the end of her braid around a finger when she was deep in thought. Katniss caught me staring at her multiple times throughout the day and I simply smirked unashamedly back at her while she rolled her eyes. Though, she always gave me a smile in return. That expression warmed my heart more than anything else. I had never seen her smile so frequently before. It was only a reinforcement of how we belonged together.

* * *

><p>It was two weeks later and my stomach was still unaware of how to settle down at the sight of Katniss. No matter how many times I said it to myself, out loud or in my head, no matter how many times she kissed me, my brain was unwilling to accept that Katniss was my girlfriend. That didn't stop me from enjoying it, though.<p>

I had been driving Katniss to her job everyday after school because her usual ride, Gale, was still not speaking to her. Katniss, being her stubborn self, took a lot of convincing, but eventually she caved and began waiting for me by my car each afternoon.

This afternoon was no different. As I made my way to the senior parking lot, I spotted Katniss sitting casually on the hood of my car. My breath caught in my throat at the sight of her and the way the shining sun brought out the rarely seen red highlights of her hair. It took all I had not to sprint the last few yards that separated us.

"Hey you," she smiled when I was standing in front of her.

"Hey," I replied, slightly breathless as I leaned in for a deep kiss, allowing my body weight to be supported by the smooth surface of the car. Katniss pulled away after a few short seconds. She was not the biggest supporter of public displays of affection, but I often forgot this.

"I'm sorry" I apologized, reluctantly allowing some space between us.

"Don't be," she whispered, sweeping her thumb across my cheek. I suppressed a shiver as I looked at her, noting the longing planted in her eyes. I had noticed that, recently, Katniss had been more lenient with my lapses in self-control and waited a little longer before pulling away. It was as if she was starting to want me almost as much as I wanted her. Perhaps, before long, I would be allowed to kiss her in public without protests or hesitations from Katniss.

"You ready?" Katniss questioned, pulling me from my thoughts of possibilities.

"Of course," I answered, guiding her off the hood and toward the passenger side door. "We can't let you be late, now, can we?"

Katniss rolled her eyes as she slipped inside the car. I chuckled quietly as I headed for the driver's seat. That was the argument that eventually won the battle to allow me to drive her. Without me, it was literally impossible for Katniss to make it to her job on time, threatening her claim on the position. She was a tardiness away from being fired and I knew how much her family depended on her small income.

The car ride was pleasant and all too short, as it is everyday. Katniss leaned forward in her seat and played with my radio the entire time, frowning every time static reverberated out of the speakers.

"You have crappy reception," she complained as she fiddled some more with the dial.

"Hey," I said, patting the dashboard. "Don't be mean to my car. She tries really hard."

"Sorry," Katniss said, sarcasm dripping from every syllable. "I didn't mean to offend _her_ feelings. Oh! Neon Trees! Love them."

Katniss fell back into her seat with a smile on her face. Bending her knees so her feet could rest on the dashboard, hands beginning to tap along with the music, Katniss took a deep breath and started singing, her smooth and melodious voice filling and consuming the space. My heartbeat increased its pace, thumping right along with her remarkable voice as if its procession was directly tied to each harmonic note. That's what it felt like when she sang; as if she was the reason I was alive and if her voice died out my heart would die with it. I nearly crashed the car the first time I heard her sing, falling in love with her all over again.

I barely noticed when I pulled into the drive of the horse farm, dust flying up in my car's wake. After I stopped the car, Katniss pulled me toward her and sucked my lower lip into her mouth, biting down on it tenderly. When she heard my moan she smiled against my lips, eventually drawing back just enough to allow her to speak.

"Thanks for the ride. I'll see you tomorrow."

"You know," I began, "if you let me pick you up, you wouldn't have to wait until tomorrow."

"No," Katniss said, firmly. "You do too much for me. I can get home on my own."

"But Katniss, I _want _to – "

Katniss silenced me by towing me in for another kiss. "I owe you so much already. I'll see you tomorrow. Okay?"

I sighed while I straightened myself in my seat as Katniss exited the car. I knew I wasn't going to convince her because I had been trying everyday. Katniss had the strangest notion about owing people that I didn't quite understand. She tried to explain it to me, about how she didn't like to be indebted to people, but I thought she was being slightly pigheaded. I didn't know whether she thought I offered her a ride because I pitied her or I felt obligated to because I was her boyfriend, but neither of those reasons were true. She would be doing me a favor by accepting my offer. Any moment spent with her was something cherished.

I watched as Katniss disappeared into one of the stables before putting my car in reverse. Looking through my rearview mirror, I saw an intimidating figure reflected there, his tall frame passing behind my vehicle. Before I knew what I was doing, I threw the gear into park, hastily grabbed the keys out of the ignition, and hopped out of the drivers seat, tearing after the individual that was already yards away.

"Hawthorne!" I hollered. He didn't stop. If anything he increased the tempo at which his feet slammed into the dry earth. "Gale!"

He flinched at the sound of his name and paused, turning on his heels to face me. I caught up to him and he leaned against the shovel he was carrying, trying to appear as nonchalant as possible. "Sorry, Bread Boy," Gale smirked. "I didn't hear you."

I frowned at his nickname for me, but I managed to keep any retaliations in check. "I need to talk to you."

"About what?"

"Katniss," I said, as if it wasn't obvious already.

"I'm sorry, Mellark. I'm in the middle of a shift right now and I'm kind of busy," Gale spat the exact words I spoke to him a month ago when he had come to see me. I noted the irony of our reversal of roles and if Gale was my friend, I'd probably laugh at his antics. But he wasn't, so I didn't. Instead I chose to plow on with my intended topic.

"You need to stop being a dick to her," I stated, crossing my arms over my chest.

Gale's eyes immediately darkened and the veins in his neck became more prominent. "You can't tell me what to do," he snarled, his voice laced with malice.

"Well someone has to," I argued, repressing the impulse to punch him. The guy really was an ass. I didn't get how Katniss was ever dating him. "Katniss deserves better than how you've been treating her."

Gale's eyes narrowed until they were practically slits. "You don't know anything."

"I know that you care enough about her to come see me after you broke up," I said, replaying that conversation in my head for the thousandth time. It took on a whole different meaning after Katniss showed up in the bakery. I almost felt guilty about getting so aggravated with Gale when, in hindsight, all he was actually doing was checking to make sure I'd take care of Katniss and treat her right. That's why it came as such a shock to me when Katniss told me Gale had been ignoring her, turning away when she tried to talk to him, pretending as if she wasn't there, making her feel like a ghost in her former life. Gale couldn't be that angry with Katniss if he had the strength to come and see me mere minutes after their breakup. In fact, I always wondered why he bothered. I would think that I'd be the last person he'd want to see at that moment. "You knew she was coming to see me that day, didn't you?"

Gale shrugged his shoulders, his arms barely moving an inch before they dropped down again. "I figured as much."

"Then why didn't you try to stop her?"

Gale let out an exasperated snort. "And how exactly would I've done that?" said Gale. He paused, looked away, and started pushing the shovel back and forth between his hands. "Besides, it – you and her – it would have happened eventually."

Suddenly, the feeling of guilt and shame engulfed me. Although Katniss never explained why or how they broke up, I always figured that my name had popped up somewhere in the conversation. I never meant to "steal" his girlfriend from him, but I'm sure that was what it felt like to Gale. "I didn't rush her. I didn't force her or anything," I said quickly, wanting him to understand. "You need to know that I gave her time to make her decision. We didn't get together the day you broke up."

It was only when Gale's face contorted into a scowl that I realized my words were of no comfort to him. There was no "better" way of losing someone you love. Katniss either left him for me or left him because she simply didn't want him. Either way sucks. No wonder he's been an ass. "

Gale's face was pained when he spoke again. "You make her happy," he forced out through gritted teeth. "I'm trying to be okay with it, I am. It's just…hard."

"I understand."

"It's just best if I'm not around her right now," Gale said, quietly. He looked up at me then and seemed to realize whom he was talking to. "And what's it to you, Mellark? I thought you'd be happy I'm staying away."

"Not if it hurts Katniss," I said, plainly. I'd do anything to make Katniss happy. I'd even gladly give her back to Gale if that was what she really wanted. Okay, maybe not gladly. "She misses you."

"She said that?" Gale raised his eyebrows. I didn't miss that familiar spark of hope in his eyes.

"Not directly, but she doesn't have to. You're her best friend." I knew how much Katniss missed Gale, even if she refused to talk about him much in front of me. I understood more of their history than I did originally. He wasn't just her boyfriend; he was her best friend. He'd been that for years. From what I gathered, he was the only person she could rely on since her father left. She needed his presence in her life. I could tell by the way her eyes clouded every time his name came up. I tried not to let it hurt my pride that I wasn't enough for her. After all, she needed my friendship when she was dating Gale. Now that I was her boyfriend, she needed her best friend back.

Gale remained unconvinced, so I tried again, remembering what Gale warned me against in our previous conversation. "She doesn't need any more people disappearing on her."

These words had an immediate effect on him. A deep cavern appeared between his eyebrows and his shoulders sagged forward. His nostrils flared and his knuckles tightened around the shaft of the shovel until they gleamed white. For a split second, I was jealous of how Gale shared something so personal with Katniss that still remained murky in my mind because she was not inclined to share it with me.

"I'm not going to," he said fiercely.

I nodded, not knowing what else to say. I had said all I needed to, so I turned around to make my way back to my car. I was already late for my shift at the bakery.

"I'd take her back, you know," Gale's voice called out to me. "If she wanted me, I'd take her back in a heartbeat."

I paused, but didn't even bother turning around. "I would say the same thing if I was in your position."

"Wrestling champion, huh?"

I looked over my shoulder and saw Gale's eyes appraising me.

Gale spoke slowly. "I could take you."

Gale's face was unyielding, his mouth pressed in a straight line. But there was a certain glint in his eyes that let me know he wasn't entirely serious. I smirked before continuing to my car while calling over my shoulder, "No, you couldn't."

**Author's Notes: I know I promised a quicker update. It would've happened, but my computer crashed and I lost everything. It was extremely frustrating. Now I'm back on track.**

**So next chapter begins what I think is the second phase of the story. The first phase was about them getting together. The next phase is about the issues that they haven't shared with each other yet because their problems will start affecting them soon.**

**On a completely separate note, congrats to Johan Santana for pitching the first no hitter in NY Mets history the other day. So exciting!**

**Review! And I apologize for my computer being stupid.**


	15. Chapter 15

**Disclaimer: I do not own THE HUNGER GAMES. It all belongs to Suzanne Collins.**

Chapter 15

**Katniss POV**

Peeta was standing across the cafeteria, talking animatedly with his hands to Tyler Rowley. I tried my best not to watch, but I was thoroughly unsuccessful. My eyes were often trained on Peeta when he wasn't looking, sneaking glances through crowded corridors and silent classrooms. He was magnetic and I was always ultra aware of wherever he was in the room.

I did not know what that boy was doing to me. When I was with him, he was all that I could think about and when I wasn't with him, I wanted to be. He was my drug; the sheer sight of him soothed me and made me feel secure. I refused to let myself think about the impending future where the inevitability of a goodbye lay ahead. I attempted to focus on the present and how each touch sent the ends of my nerves blazing and how each of his smiles lifted me from the stressful depths of my existence. He was the light in the darkness of my days. The irresistible spark of hope that life could one day be better than this, irrational though it was. But I didn't know how to be happy, so my mind continued to wonder to the approaching months when I least expected it. Perhaps I felt guilty of my weakness for allowing me such contentment, especially at the cost of Gale's friendship. Despite all this, I had to fight a smile as Peeta slapped Tyler on the back and made his way toward our table.

"Sorry I'm late," Peeta said as he slid onto the bench beside me. "I hope you weren't missing me too much."

"What?" I stammered, my brain going fuzzy for a minute as he softly kissed me on the cheek. "I didn't even notice you were gone."

"She was staring at you," Madge stated, not looking up from her meal.

"Madge!" I flushed scarlet.

"What?" Madge asked, innocently.

I glared at her.

"Oh, come on. Like it wasn't blatantly obvious already."

"I'm flattered that you were staring at me," Peeta said, effectively cutting off any nasty comment I was about to say and bringing me back to my embarrassment. He leaned toward me then, so he could whisper in my ear. "And you're adorable when you're embarrassed." This only made me blush more violently.

"You two really need to stop with all this cute couple stuff," Madge said, pointing accusingly between Peeta and me. "Or else I'll need to find another table to sit at."

Peeta shrugged and slipped his arm around my waist, pulling me closer to his body. "That's up to you."

Madge sighed and continued eating, mumbling under her breath. "You're lucky I like you guys."

Peeta chuckled and then our table went silent as we all returned to our respective meals. The silence bothered no one. Madge and I were used to it and Peeta was satisfied just sitting this near to me. I didn't think the shock had worn off of Peeta yet, that he could do things like put his arm around my waist. The look of bewilderment he got every time I kissed him was endearing. He wanted to absorb every second he had with me, so the silence suited him fine.

Twice, though, I saw him lift his hand in acknowledgement of someone across the room. The second time, my eyes followed Peeta's gaze to his old table where I managed to spot Alex Cofield, the quarterback of the football team, nodding his head in return. The gesture went unnoticed by any of his peers sitting at the overcrowded table. They were all too busy smiling, talking, laughing, their easygoing amusement rippling out in waves, drawing attention from the tables surrounding them. I couldn't help but compare the state of that table to the state of ours, our quiet demureness lacking any frivolity. Peeta used to be at the center of that drove, laughing with the rest of them. He didn't belong here with two misfits who were too comfortable being alone to even talk much with each other. I turned back to my lunch companions, chewing the inside of my cheek as I debated with myself before speaking.

"Peeta doesn't have to sit with us, you know," I said to Madge, the guilt getting the better of me.

Both of them looked at me like I just said something in Chinese. Madge lips were pursed and her eyes narrowed. Peeta had let go of my waist so he could turn to face me properly, his blue eyes scanning my features.

"What?"

"It's just...you didn't used to sit with us everyday. You took turns sitting with your friends."

"So?"

"So I'm just saying you can still do that," I said in a clipped tone. Did he need me to spell it out for him? I was doing him a favor by letting him go.

"Katniss, do you not want me to sit with you?" Peeta asked timidly.

"No. That's not it at all," I responded hurriedly, afraid and somewhat annoyed by his misinterpretation. It wasn't that I wanted him to go; it was that Peeta deserved to spend time with his friends. I didn't want to feel as though I was holding him captive. I didn't want to be that needy girlfriend who had to have her boyfriend eat lunch with her. Because I wasn't her. I didn't _need_ him like that. "I just – don't you miss sitting with your friends?"

In my peripheral vision, I saw Madge's eyes whizzing back and forth between Peeta and me, both eyes stretched open as wide as they could go as though she was frightened that if she blinked, she'd miss something. The expression made her look comical and somewhat outlandish.

"No," Peeta said after a moment hesitation.

"Don't lie to me, Peeta Mellark!" I hissed, surprising myself by slamming my fists onto the tabletop. Peeta jumped at my outburst and inched away from me, allowing me a clearer view of his old table. Someone had obviously just finished regaling the group with a joke or a humorous story because every head was thrown back in laughter. I scowled. It was like they were mocking me. "I know you do!"

"I think I'm going to go," Madge said quietly, gathering her things and disappearing before my next breath.

Peeta had managed to regain much of his composure. "Katniss, I would never lie to you," he said seriously.

I was still fixated on the sociable scene behind him, so he grabbed both my hands to win my awareness. I turned begrudgingly to him, knowing he had more to say. He scrutinized my face once more before carefully selecting his words. "Do I enjoy eating lunch with my friends? Of course, I do. But I enjoy eating lunch with you more."

I opened my mouth to argue, but Peeta silenced me by pressing his entire palm over my lips, clamping my mouth shut.

"Listen to me," he interjected. "Every time I'm with them, I wish I was with you. But there is not a second with you that goes by that I wish I'm with them."

Peeta didn't release my mouth. He simply looked down at me with a sincere expression plastered on his face, his eyebrows raised and bunched with concern, his eyes searching for my understanding and acceptance. Peeta removed his hand only after I gave him a short, curt nod.

After staring at me for a few more seconds, Peeta returned to his meal, seemingly pretending as though the conversation hadn't happened. I was content doing the same thing when words suddenly tumbled out of my mouth.

"I just wish it didn't have to be me or them," I mumbled rapidly, as if the words were racing for an escape before I would have the chance to stop them. However, I realized as soon as I said it that this was the root to my anxiety. I felt as though I was Peeta's handicap, a hindrance in his daily life. I believed the words he spoke, but I didn't understand how they could be true. How could he ever choose a sulking me over happiness awaiting him across the cafeteria? I felt responsible for holding him back.

Peeta sighed and ran his hand through his hair, making it stick up at odd angles. "It doesn't have to be," he said, carefully. "They could be your friends too, you know. If you ever wanted, we could sit there at lunch or go to one of their parties. Madge too. But I would never force you to do anything you didn't want to do."

I studied Peeta, surprised that he would even suggest such a thing. He wasn't looking at me anymore. Instead, he chose to focus on the plastic bottle cap he spun in his hands. I silently cursed myself for saying anything in the first place. Peeta would never bring up something that was bothering him. He was too kind and generous. But now I gathered that there was something about me he hoped he could change. "You wish I was normal and not some social outcast."

"No, I don't. And you are not an outcast. I just want them to see how special you are."

He looked up at me again, crumbling my walls with his gorgeous eyes. Really, it should be illegal for eyes to be that blue. I let out a quiet groan as I realized what I was about to do.

"What if you invite your friends to sit here? Not all of them. Just – just one."

"You'd be okay with that?" he asked, skeptically.

I shrugged. If it made Peeta happy, I could do it. I could pretend to be civilized enough to get through one meal. It was for Peeta. That was the only reason I was considering it.

"You know I didn't ask you for this."

"I know. But this is one thing I _can_ do for you. So let me do it."

"If you insist." Peeta grinned at me. It was his first grin since the beginning of lunch and I didn't realize how much I had missed it. I could get through anything if I could only see that smile again.

* * *

><p><strong>Peeta POV<strong>

"Come on, man."

"I said no," Tyler said, bouncing the basketball back toward me. I caught it with ease and spun it in my hands, enjoying the rough leather feeling of the ball. "Is that why you came over here? Am I only going to see you when you need something?"

I began dribbling the ball as an excuse to look away. I had walked to Tyler's house, which sat directly across from mine, with one purpose in mind. I didn't appreciate how he made me feel guilty by pointing out the obvious.

"That's exactly why you should do this," I argued as I threw up an arching shot that gracefully swished through the hoop attached to the side of Tyler's house. I smiled while Tyler retrieved the rebound. "I just want my best friend and my girlfriend to get along, to be able to sit at the same table for one measly meal. Is that too much to ask? What do you have against Katniss, anyway?"

"You know I have nothing against her. I just don't think it's a very good idea."

"How could this not be a good idea?" I huffed, exasperatedly. "It's barely an idea. I don't understand what the big deal is."

"And I'm sure Katniss was just thrilled when you mentioned it to her. That is, if you mentioned it to her."

"It was her suggestion, actually."

Tyler stopped mid shot and hiked an eyebrow up his forehead disbelievingly.

"In more or less words," I conceded. "But she knows I'm doing this."

"Really? Does she know I'm the one you're inviting?"

"No," I said. "But why should it matter?"

Tyler went completely silent making each bounce of the basketball echo more ominously than the last. I looked curiously over at him. His lack of answer was unnerving. He was definitely hiding something from me.

"It's your shot." Tyler threw the ball hard into my chest. I handled it and stuffed the ball under my arm, holding it close to my hip. I stepped in front of him and eyed him carefully.

"You traveled."

I narrowed my eyes at Tyler's obvious deflection. This wasn't the first time that I had suspected that something had happened between Tyler and Katniss. I've never asked Katniss before, but I had tried to weasel something out of Tyler on occasion. He vehemently denied that anything consequential happened. But there must have been something more that he wasn't telling me.

"You want to tell me what's going on?" I demanded.

"You're being paranoid," Tyler retorted, his eyes not quite meeting mine.

"Am I? Because you seem to be working awfully hard dodging my questions."

I could tell I was making Tyler uncomfortable, but I couldn't find it in me to care. I was sick of all the lying and secrets. I wasn't going to feel bad being the one to call him out on it.

"I'm not dodging anything. Look," Tyler pressed two fingers into the bridge of his nose, allowing his eyes to close momentarily, "if it's that important to you, I'll go to your damn lunch. Just don't blame me if things turn out badly."

Considering he had completely avoided giving me a reason as to why the lunch was going to turn out badly, I put that thought into the back of my mind. My unsettled feeling about Katniss and Tyler had not vanished, but I was satisfied enough that Tyler had finally agreed to my request. I let my inquiries subside for the moment as well.

"On one condition," Tyler piped up again. "You have to come to the party on Saturday. No more using Katniss as an excuse. You're coming even if she doesn't."

I laughed before throwing the ball back toward the hoop. "Okay, deal," I supplied right as the ball fell through the net.

Tyler stared up at the hoop, shaking his head softly. "Seriously, have you ever considered quitting wrestling? We could use you on the basketball team this winter."

"You'll do fine without me," I said, just noticing the numbness starting to spread from my fingertips. The cold November air was getting to me. "I'll see you at lunch tomorrow, okay?"

"Yeah, right, okay," Tyler mumbled.

Tyler kept his promise and arrived promptly at our lunch table the next day, food in tow. He stood awkwardly above us, his eyes never wavering from Katniss who sat beside me. Her head was bent and hadn't noticed his arrival. I hadn't told her that Tyler would be joining us and suddenly I felt guilty that I didn't forewarn her.

"Hey, Tyler," I said, the simple sentence coming out stiff, forced, and cumbersomely formal. "Please, join us."

Tyler finally sat down, occupying the seat across from me and next to Madge. Katniss' head shot up when I mentioned Tyler's name. Her eyes were now narrowed in on him with a strain of hostility that I wasn't aware she possessed. There was pure loathing in her gaze and I abruptly wondered if maybe I should have listened to Tyler's doubts after all.

"So," I chuckled nervously, quite aware of our inauspicious start. "Katniss, this is my friend Tyler." I realized how foolish it was for me to be introducing them when they had been going to school together for years, but I couldn't think of what else to say. Tyler gave Katniss a small smile, which Katniss returned with a scowl before dipping her head back down. I sighed while mentally berating myself for thinking this encounter was going to be easy. "And Tyler, you must know Madge."

"Sure," Tyler spoke. "You're the mayor's daughter, right?"

I was surprised when I saw the blush on Madge's cheeks as Tyler turned to talk to her, though I found it relieved some of the tension from my shoulders. If Katniss wasn't going to be nice, at least Tyler and Madge would get along.

"Yeah," Madge said, shyly.

"That must suck," Tyler said. "I imagine the rules must be pretty strict in the mayor's house. It's got to be tough."

"No more so than being the sheriff's son," Madge replied quietly.

"Yeah, well, we all know that my dad isn't the best cop out there."

A cruel cackle escaped Katniss at Tyler's statement. Everyone's head whipped toward her, but it appeared as though Katniss hadn't moved. Her fingers were toying with a paper napkin, ripping the edges to shreds. I took one of her hands into my own and squeezed gently.

"Are you alright?" I whispered into her ear.

"I'm fine," she replied sharply. She left her hand in mine.

And to give Tyler credit, he continued as though he hadn't been interrupted. "And there are some perks to being the sheriff's son."

"Like what?" Madge asked.

"Like if I throw I party, I know it won't be busted. The cops aren't going to be stopping at the sheriff's house. Speaking of which," Tyler turned back to me, "you're coming this weekend, right?"

"I told you I was, didn't I?" I sighed, again mad at myself that I hadn't already asked Katniss to come with me.

"You're having a party?" Madge interjected.

Tyler nodded. "This Saturday, after the game. If we win, it'll be a celebration that we're headed to states. If we lose, it'll be to commiserate our loss. Either way, it should be fun. You should come."

Madge's blush deepened.

"You too, Katniss." Tyler's voice softened as he looked carefully at her. "You are more than welcome to come, too."

"How thoughtful of you," Katniss said, though it felt artificial. I was glad that she was at least trying to be polite. I knew she was only attempting because of me and I knew it was difficult for her.

"I just want you to feel comfortable there," Tyler continued.

Unexpectedly, Katniss' grip on my hand tightened, cutting off the circulation to my fingers.

"Comfortable?" Katniss snarled, her voice dropping an octave, her mouth contorting oddly around the word. "Comfortable at _your_ house? So what? Do I get the grand tour or is that saved for the people who actually need it?"

The tension at the table could not have been higher at this point. Madge dropped under the table to retrieve something from her backpack, but I assumed that was only an excuse. Katniss and Tyler's faces were both red; Katniss' from anger, Tyler's from embarrassment. I felt inadequate; unaware of why such a reasonable sentence set Katniss off and unable to calm her down.

"Katniss," I murmured. "Tyler didn't mean anything by it. He was just trying to be nice."

"How _noble_ of him," Katniss spat. "Inviting the lesser people to his home. We are so lucky. After all, not all of us are fortunate enough to have big, nice houses to throw parties in."

I cringed at the sarcasm in her voice and shot Tyler an apologetic look. He was spluttering, trying to regain his stature in the conversation. I was flabbergasted at how poorly this lunch was going. The worst I had expected was for Katniss to withdraw into herself and not say anything, not to explode all over my best friend. I was prepared for my original hypothesis. I was planning on carrying the conversation myself. Now, ironically, I couldn't think of anything to say.

"Katniss, please stop." I couldn't believe I was resorting to begging. "No one is going to force you to go to the party. Lets just forget about it, okay?"

I could see my voice registering inside of Katniss' brain, her usual airtight self-control returning to her. He fingers loosened their clutch and her eye's mitigated their fury. I let out a breath of relief at her calming state. When she looked up at me, I could tell she felt sorry for her outburst. I shook my head to let her know it was okay. Now I would be happy if we could all get through lunch in one piece.

I was pleasantly shocked when Madge was the one who returned us to a normal dialog. "Do you think you guys have a good chance of winning on Saturday?"

"Are you kidding me?" Tyler exclaimed, allowing a smile to grace his face. "With our secret weapon here," he smacked me on the shoulder, "how can we lose?"

"I don't know how much help I'll be, but I'll tell you one thing. Haymitch is a strategy genius. Seriously, his plays are nothing short of brilliant."

"Who would've guessed?" Tyler smirked. "Guess the alcohol hasn't managed to kill all of his brain cells yet."

I shrugged. "It's only a matter of time. Lets just hope that last one hangs in there until _after _we win states."

Tyler nodded enthusiastically and pulled out his last morsel of food: a bag of potato chips that he had yet to open. He flipped the bag over in his hands, scrutinizing it as he came to a decision. "Nah. I don't want this. Do any of you want it? Katniss?"

Katniss, who had been silently chewing her food during our small talk, snapped back to life at her name, her viselike grip on my hand returning. She glared at the bag of chips Tyler held out for her. I knew he meant it as a peace offering, so I felt bad at the animosity flowing out of my girlfriend. I had really subjected the guy to quite the train wreck.

"I'm not charity." Katniss' icy tone had returned as she glowered at Tyler, menacing enough to send chills down my spine. I could visibly see Tyler gulp.

"I know you're not," Tyler said quickly. "I just thought that, maybe, if you were hungry – "

"I have enough sense not to take things that don't belong to me."

Tyler flinched. I sat there, speechless. There was no stopping the words now flowing freely from Katniss' mouth, contaminating the air with accusations and insults.

"I can afford my own food. I don't need anything from anybody, especially you." Katniss' voice grew louder with every spoken word. "So just stop it! Stop with the guilt driven care packages! Stop with the superfluous gifts! Stop thinking about me and stop looking at me! Just stop it! Because I don't care for it and it doesn't make me feel better. It just pisses me off. So you can take this bag of chips," she grabbed the bag out of Tyler's hand, threw it onto the table, and brought her fist down hard against it, making the bag open with a gunshot sounding pop. "And go fuck yourself."

The sound had garnered the attention of the rest of the student body. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw heads from all directions realign to face our table. Any hopes of keeping this confrontation a secret were long gone.

Katniss took the now flattened bag of potato chips and threw it in Tyler's face. The shattered pieces flew from their confines easily, dusting Tyler with the crumbs of the salty snack. Katniss then sprinted from the room, leaving Tyler to shake the broken bits out of his hair and me to stare after her with wide eyes and a gaping mouth, too shocked to even chase after her.

In the back of my mind, I noted that the cafeteria was abnormally quiet, all eyes still focused on our misshapen table. Gradually, the whispers picked up again, the numbing hissing sounds gratefully descending upon me like an ocean wave crashing on the sand. Neither Tyler nor Madge spoke though. Tyler was wearing a vacant and exhausted expression while Madge practically shook where she sat. Neither of them could look me in the eye.

"What the hell was that?" I asked harshly, now becoming aware of my own anger. Something serious had happened between Tyler and Katniss. I was no longer going to allow him to evade my questions. I didn't know what I just exposed Katniss to. My insides twisted with guilt and shame as I pictured her disgusted face again. I didn't even know if I should give her time to cool off or talk to her now. I didn't know what I was dealing with. I felt completely lost and helpless and somewhat panicky at the thought that this would cost me my relationship with Katniss. I had promised I would never hurt her, but I did by bringing Tyler to sit with us today. I glared unapologetically at my friend. I should have listened to his concerns. But he knew! He knew something like this was going to happen and he refused to tell me! My breath came short and harsh through my nostrils. "What the fuck happened between you two?"

Tyler just shook his head, the weight of this unknown burden slowly causing his skull to bow down.

"This is serious! I need to know what happened."

"This is her story to tell, Peeta," Tyler said carefully. "If she chooses to tell you. I can't – I just – I can't. It's not my secret to share. You have to talk to her."

**Author's Notes: Long chapter. Next one should be long too, unless I decide to split it into two. But I hope you enjoy. Any guesses as to what happened between Katniss and Tyler?**

**As always, I want to thank all my readers out there. You guys are unbelievable to stick with me thus far. Hopefully my story will continue to enthrall you. Much love.**


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

**Katniss POV**

I stumbled out of the lunchroom, indignation blurring my vision until I was literally staggering blindly outside. I had enough sense left in me to know that Peeta wouldn't be far behind, asking, or rather, demanding an explanation. I wasn't sure if I was ready to give him one. Part of me wanted to be so angry with him for subjugating me to this again, but I knew I was being unreasonable. It was my own fault for suggesting he invite a friend to lunch and not realizing the logical choice would be Tyler Rowley. It was foolish of me not to consider it. After all, I gave Peeta no inclination that I was uncomfortable with his best friend. At least, not more so than any other person he associated with. Peeta may not have known, but Tyler did, and I was entirely shocked that he agreed to the ill-advised lunch in the first place. But I suppose it was hard to deny Peeta anything.

I had reached the senior parking lot and took a moment to collect my thoughts. Under no circumstances would I be returning to class to face the unwavering gaze of Peeta. I needed time to construct a plausible excuse for my behavior. One that hopefully wouldn't require too many questions. By now he probably thought I was crazy, as my actions suggested I was. But even if Peeta knew the truth, he wouldn't understand. No one would…except for Gale.

My heart panged at the thought of my best friend. Gale would understand my haphazard response, but he hadn't spoken to me since our breakup. I didn't blame him for being angry, but I honestly thought he would be over it by now. I thought our friendship was stronger than that. But perhaps I had either overestimated his loyalty to me or underestimated his stubbornness. I tried not to be irritated at our lack of communication, but it was difficult. For the longest time, Gale had been the only person I could rely on and suddenly my sturdy rock on which I stood had crumbled into sand and my legs felt wobbly beneath me.

I lashed out at the only thing within my reach: the rubber tire of a nearby blue sedan. I kicked it, hard, and pain radiated out from my toes, clawing at the bones in my foot.

"Fucking hormones!" I screamed, striking the tire again and again until my foot was numb from the pain. "You ruin fucking everything!"

It was true. Without hormones, Gale wouldn't like me, I wouldn't like Peeta and I could go back to the world where Gale was just my best friend and I could sit through lunch without having to worry about Tyler sneaking up on me. Back to an easier world, simpler, where the tears that I was furiously blinking away weren't threatening to consume me. I slumped against the car that damaged my foot, sliding inelegantly to the ground while taking heaving breaths. I had never felt so alone.

Right on cue, I heard my name being shouted in the distance. It was like Peeta had special radar that could detect my heartache. I was up and fleeing school grounds in a heartbeat, ignoring the fretful tones of the boy looking for me. I glanced at my watch as I reached the road and I let out a relieved sigh when I saw the time, knowing I knew exactly where he'd be. It hadn't been _that_ long since we had spoken and right now, I didn't care which world I lived in, I just needed to hear him say _something_ to me so I knew I wasn't psychotic, even if all he said was 'go away!'

It was lunchtime on Wednesday, or "hump day" as Gale relentlessly called it. This meant that instead of hiding out in the bowels of the plant with a wrinkled brown paper bag as he did every other day for lunch, Gale would be at the nearby deli treating himself for getting halfway through the week. If I hurried, I could catch him there and hopefully he would have enough dignity left to not physically run away from me.

About ten minutes later, the deli came into view, clearly packed with various workers from the plant, all dressed in faded, torn jeans and work boots. They littered the parking lot, scattered in several groups, enjoying an outdoor lunch despite the fact that it was November and cold outside. I didn't see Gale, though I could spot his truck, so I knew he had to be inside. Ignoring the numerous stares I was receiving from the men, I pushed my way through the throng until I could press my face against the glass.

He was sitting at a small table opposite the door, balancing on the back two legs of the chair with a smirk on his face. He took a bite of his sandwich while shaking his head at something one of his coworkers had said, obviously holding back a laugh. It almost made me mad that he was having a good time without me when we hadn't spoken in weeks and I was clearly on the edge of having a nervous breakdown. I shook my head at my vindictive thoughts. After all, I was the one who went directly from him to Peeta, which, in consideration, was much worse than almost laughing at a coworker's joke.

I knew the longer I stood there, staring, the harder it would be to face him, so I inhaled deeply and pushed open the door. I heard the faint tinkle of the bell over the thunderous voices as I stepped inside, the warm air stinging my chilled cheeks. His eyes caught mine the second the door closed behind me, effectively wiping that grin off his face and making his mood much more comparable to mine. I immediately wished I hadn't come.

I watched as Gale dipped his head towards his companions and mumbled something I couldn't hear. Then he was standing in front of me.

"What are you doing here, Catnip?"

I had never been so happy to hear that horrid nickname he came up with years ago. I instantly relaxed, the tension rolling off me in waves. Unfortunately, this seemed to reawaken my tear ducts and I was once again on the verge of crying. Gale, who knew me too well, saw this and became concerned.

"Come on," he said, keeping his voice quiet. "Lets talk outside."

Hearing he was willing to actually talk to me, created more overwhelming emotion until I was literally fighting back sobs. I threw my arms around his neck, squeezing tightly until I felt his arms around me, which successfully shielded me from the prying eyes of his coworkers. Gale guided me gently outside and to his truck where he lifted me onto the bed and sat down beside me, allowing me to continue to sob into his chest for a few minutes.

Somewhere in the back of my mind, I knew that I would regret this breakdown. I registered that even though Gale was comforting me, his hand smoothly rubbing circles into my back, this changed nothing. As soon as he made sure I was okay, the awkwardness between us would return. It would revert back to me choosing Peeta over him and Gale ignoring me because of his heartbreak. This thought only made me cry harder.

Finally, I gathered enough strength to compose myself. I leaned away and began rubbing at my prickling, reddened eyes, feeling slightly embarrassed at my lack of self-control. When I finally looked at Gale, I saw that his eyes had hardened and his face wore an angry mask. His expression worried me. It seemed as though that was all the kindness I was going to get. He was going to leave me again before I had even spoken a word.

"Gale – "

"What did _he _do to you?" Gale cut me off, his eyes as sharp as razors, his hands suddenly clenching my wrists.

It took a second for me to understand whom he was talking about, but when I did, my eyes widened and I shook my head violently. "No, Gale. Peeta didn't do anything." It probably would have been more convincing if my voice wasn't still shaking. I tried not to wince as Gale's grip tightened as I spoke Peeta's name.

"I'm going to kill him," Gale snarled with a threatening tone and I felt panic set in me.

"Gale, he didn't – "

"I don't believe you," Gale said, letting go of my wrists and bringing his hand to my face to wipe away stray tears, his eyebrows scrunched with anxiety. "I've never seen you like this, Catnip. Only when, you know, our dads…"

He allowed his sentence to hang in the air, unfinished. I turned my head away and pushed myself further down the bed so I could lean against the wall of the truck. Gale quickly followed suit.

"Just please tell me what he did," Gale whispered, putting a comforting arm around my shoulder. He gave me a small smile. "I promise I'll try my best to keep my temper in check."

I rolled my eyes at him, knowing that was physically impossible. "I'm telling you the truth, Gale. Peeta didn't _do_ anything. It – it was me."

Gale let out an agitated huff. "While I don't doubt the probability of you committing a social foul, Catnip, I seriously doubt that you're the reason you've been hysterically crying on my shoulder for the past half hour."

"But I am," I argued. "It was my fault. Peeta – Peeta didn't know."

I tried my best to ignore the small twitch in Gale's eye every time I mentioned Peeta. I guess that was the flaw in my plan. Coming here to talk to Gale about something involving Peeta was cruel, wasn't it?

"What – did – he – do?" Gale demanded, pausing after each syllable.

"You have to promise me that you won't hurt him if I tell you."

"I'm not promising that," Gale said, his eyes turning dark and deadly. "If Bread Boy isn't smart enough to know what he's got and treat you right then he deserves what he gets."

"Peeta's been nothing but good to me. You're the one who's been treating me as if I don't exist," I said angrily, shoving his arm off my shoulder and sliding my body away from him. I was vexed that Gale thought he had the right to defend my honor after what transpired between us. One look at Gale told me I went too far.

"That's not fair," Gale remarked icily.

"Not fair?" I asked, incredulously. "_You're_ the one who broke up with _me, _remember? So what gives you the right to be the wounded one and treat me like shit?"

My voice was more crotchety than I intended and I could feel a fight coming on. I couldn't see a way to prevent it. Once the floodgates were opened there was no stopping the outpour of hurt I had been feeling over my abandonment.

"I only did that because you were with Bread Boy behind my back!" Gale roared, attracting the attention of nearby workers.

"Peeta and I did nothing while we were together!" I screamed, outraged that Gale could think so little of me. My brain glossed over those two incidental kisses Peeta and I shared because technically that was before Gale and I were a "thing" so they shouldn't count. I poked him hard in the chest before speaking again. "You're the reason things didn't work out between us, Gale, because you were too insecure to allow me to have a friend other than you!"

Gale let out a derisive laugh. He was actually laughing in my face! "The only reason I broke up with you was because you didn't have the balls to admit that you had feelings for someone else."

His words cut deeply into me and I knew they were the truth. I still didn't think that gave him a right to treat me like a decaying carcass on the side of the road, however. "You tried to turn our relationship into something it wasn't meant to be," I said, thankful our voices had returned to normal volume. "We tried. It didn't work. But then you turned your back on the relationship that was most special to me, most special to both of us."

I knew I struck a nerve by the way Gale's bravado crumpled until he looked so wounded that I wouldn't be surprised if Peeta put his arms around him in comfort. Gale rubbed at the spot I had poked him and looked up at me with wide eyes. "I have always been here for you, Catnip. I will always be here for you."

I collapsed next to him and spoke what I had meant to tell him in the first place. "Peeta invited Tyler Rowley to have lunch with us."

I felt Gale tense next to me. He turned to face me with a clenched jaw. "Why would he do that?"  
>I audibly swallowed. "I told him to."<p>

Gale looked at me unbelievingly and I knew I would have to explain more.

"I told him to invite one of his friends to sit with us at lunch. I was stupid and didn't think about how his best friend is Tyler."

"Bread Boy's best friend is Tyler Rowley?"

"Yes," I groaned. "And stop calling him Bread Boy."

Gale ignored my last comment and smirked at me. "Well, don't you know how to pick 'em."

I gave him a sarcastic chuckle, though I was pleased by how comfortable this conversation had become. It felt similar to the old Katniss and Gale. Perhaps all hope wasn't lost for our friendship after all.

"I totally freaked out, Gale. Like mental institution, bat-shit crazy freaked out. I screamed at him and told him to go fuck himself in front of the entire cafeteria."

"Shit, Katniss," Gale said while running his hand up past his forehead and through his dark hair, although I could still detect a trace of humor in his voice. Clearly, he didn't completely disapprove of my outburst. "I mean, I wouldn't want to share a meal with Tyler Rowley either, but that may have been a bit excessive."

"You think?" I moaned, burying my face in my hands. The unpleasant feeling of guilt was washing over me. Why couldn't I just sit and behave myself for one meal? One meal for Peeta?

"So I take it you haven't told Bread Boy yet?" Gale asked, looking over at me curiously.

I frowned, annoyed that he even considered I would. "Of course I haven't," I snapped.

"Why not?" Gale's voice was deadpanned.

I whipped my head towards him, flabbergasted. "Are you being serious right now? You know why I haven't. We promised each other we would never tell _anyone_. We promised we would never talk about that night."

Gale paused and looked away from me. "I think you should tell him."

I allowed my jaw to drop, my mouth opened so wide I would bet that you could see right down my throat. It was like I just stepped into an alternate universe. "You're kidding, right?"

"Katniss, we made that promise when we were twelve and fourteen. It doesn't count anymore." Gale rolled his eyes as if this was the most obvious statement in the world.

"Of course it does!" I said, hurt. How could he even consider allowing me to betray our confidences like that? He knew I would never. I'd trusted that he wouldn't either, but his words made me rethink Gale's trustworthiness. "Why? Have you told someone?"

"No," Gale said, quickly. "But I still think you should tell Bread Boy."

"Peeta!" I reprimanded.

"Mellark! And that's the best you're going to get."

"Fine," I resigned.

"Look, as much as this kills me to say it, Mellark's your boyfriend now and he's important to you. He deserves to know about this. It is a big part of who you are."

I sat there, staring at this boy, or rather, man I thought I knew. I had come to him because he was like me. We thought and acted the same. I'd thought that hearing a similar perspective would make me feel sane, but here he was, spewing nonsense from his mouth, telling me to do the exact opposite of what my instincts were screaming. I was definitely in some sort of twilight zone.

"You do realize this is the same boy you wanted to kill earlier in this conversation?" I said jokingly, attempting to divert the attention away from myself.

"So he lives for another day. Sue me," Gale said with a shrug of his shoulders. He then straightened, his face an emotionless mask. "So are you going to tell him?"

"I'll think about it," I allowed, knowing full well I wasn't going to. I knew I'd never feel comfortable enough to actually share such intimate information with Peeta. He'd be long gone before we'd ever reach that point. But I didn't want to think about that. Instead, I leaned back and rested my head on Gale's shoulder, taking a calming breath in the process. "Are we friends again?" I asked hopefully.

"We were always friends," Gale said before dropping a kiss onto the top of my head. I froze for a moment, but only because he had never done that before.

It was quiet for a few minutes after that and I began to wonder if Gale was late for his afternoon shift at the plant. The parking lot had emptied considerably during our talk, though there were still a handful of cars scattered about. I was about to mention something about the time when Gale spoke again. "I missed you so much, Catnip."

I smiled. I had, of course, missed my best friend as well, but now that he said it, I realized his absence wasn't as hard on me as I expected it would be. I hadn't thought about him much, unless I passed him on the farm. Peeta had been a nice distraction for the past couple of weeks. I unquestionably would rather have Gale around, but there wasn't that gnawing pain of something intrinsic missing in my life that I expected there to be. This thought scared me and I didn't know what to do with it. So instead of saying all of that, I simply replied, "I missed you, too."


	17. Chapter 17

**Disclaimer: I do not own THE HUNGER GAMES. It all belongs to Suzanne Collins.**

Chapter 17

**Katniss POV**

I was fearful of returning to school the next day knowing Peeta was anxiously awaiting my explanation. He had stopped by the farm that same afternoon, but I hurried him away with an excuse of being busy and a promise that I would talk to him tomorrow. I knew that Peeta wasn't angry with me. I knew he was just asking because he was worried. I'd honestly prefer the anger. It was easier to deal with, to understand, because I'd be angry if he ever pulled something like that on me. But Peeta wasn't like me or anybody else I had ever met. He was better.

That was why it physically pained me to lie to him when his troubled eyes greeted me in school. Because my brain refused to develop a feasible excuse, I joked my way around a justification, blaming my neurotic behavior on an undiagnosed social disorder that I should really have checked out. It was clear that Peeta wasn't buying it, but he didn't press the issue, for which I was thankful. However, that didn't stop the concern blazing in his pupils.

It bugged me to no end, mostly because it only made me feel guiltier. I was lying to him and I was worrying him, but there seemed to be no solution. It forced me to actually keep my promise to Gale and consider just telling Peeta the truth. I didn't think about it long, though. The truth was something my heart just wouldn't allow me to speak. Nevertheless, I knew that if he didn't stop with the apprehensive stares, I would have to do something.

While walking to his car after school on Friday, I finally blew. "Alright, just quit it already!" I screamed at him.

"Quit what?" Peeta asked, feigning innocence.

"That thing you do with your eyes, like you're waiting for me to drop dead at any minute!" I crossed my arms tightly over my chest. We were at his car, but I wasn't getting in until he promised me he would stop obsessing. "I've told you one thousand times already. I'm fine!"

Peeta gently extracted my arms and held both of my hands in his. He stared at me a second longer before speaking. "I want to say I believe you…" Peeta paused and chewed on the tip of his tongue. "But I promised you that I would never lie to you. I realize that you never made me the same promise so I don't expect you to share. I just wish you knew you could talk to me. About anything."

His words made me want to cry. My keeping the secret from him had nothing to do with Peeta and everything to do with me. It wasn't fair that he was taking all the blame, as he always did. I understood that Peeta was taking it hard, but it was my character flaw, not his, that was forcing the stay of my tongue.

I reached up and cupped his face in my palm. His hand followed the action as he placed his fingers directly over mine and turned his head slightly to force more pressure on the contact between our skins.

"I know I can," I whispered the truth. "I wish you believed me that there's nothing to talk about. What can I do to show you that I'm okay?"

Peeta shook his head and softly kissed me on the cheek before opening the passenger side door. I reluctantly slid into his car, not knowing how I would win this conversation.

The car ride passed in awkward silence. When he pulled the car to a stop in the dusty drive, I leaned over so I could kiss him, wanting to pour all my frustration into the action. I wanted this kiss to make him believe that everything was fine, so when he started to pull away, I latched one of my hands behind his head and yanked him closer. Peeta didn't fight me, which I took as a good sign. I began moving my other hand down his neck and onto his chest, where I started to fiddle with his tie. I smiled into the kiss, thinking about how ridiculous it was that he was wearing a tie to school while knowing full well that it was a football team tradition. Everyone on the football team would wear a tie on the Friday before game day. But I supposed it was an important game that weekend. If they won, the team would be off to states for the first time in almost 25 years. And after that everyone would go celebrate at Tyler's party.

I gasped and leaned back suddenly, an idea striking me at that exact instant. Peeta blinked at me dazedly, confused at my sudden retraction. I pecked him once more on the lips. "So I'll see you tomorrow night."

"What's tomorrow night?" Peeta asked stupidly.

I sighed. "Tyler's party. You're still going right?"

"I am," Peeta said slowly, a small crease appearing between his eyebrows.

"Well, then, I'll see you there."

Peeta's mouth dipped at the corners. "You don't have to do that, Katniss."

"I know I don't," I said, frustratingly. Why was he making this so difficult? "Tyler invited me, so I'm going to go."

Peeta's mouth turned into a full-fledged frown. "You don't have to prove anything to me."

"Peeta, will you stop?" I demanded. "You're right that I'm doing this for you, but only because I know you want me there. Not for any other reason, okay? I mean, you do want me there, right?"

"Of course I do," Peeta relented with a sigh, tapping his fingers against the steering wheel. "What time should I pick you up?"

"Don't be stupid," I said, waving off his offer. "You live right across the street from Tyler. I'll just get Gale to take me."

I turned to open the door and make my escape before I felt Peeta rest a hand gently on my leg. "You're sure about this?"

I plastered a smile on my face and turned back to face him. "I'm sure."

I let out a relieved breath when Peeta finally backed his car down the drive and out of my line of sight. Convincing Peeta to forget about that fateful day at lunch was going to be more difficult than anticipated. Was it normal for a boyfriend to be this intensely worried about his girlfriend's wellbeing? Though I couldn't be sure, I doubted it. All the other boys in my school seemed like immature assholes. Was it wrong of me to almost want Peeta to be on their demeaning level, at least for the time being?

"What are you staring at, Catnip?" Gale's voice cut across my soliloquy.

"Dammit, Gale," I snapped, clutching at my rapidly beating heart. "Don't sneak up on my like that. You almost gave me a heart attack."

Gale raised an arching eyebrow at me. "What were you staring at?"

"Nothing," I said defensively. I realized that there was nothing offensive about Gale's statement, but I had been so on edge lately that just about anything set me off. That, and I wasn't quite ready to listen to his 'I told you so.' So instead, I turned my back on him and stomped off towards the barn. Gale's echoing footsteps indicated that he was following me. As soon as my foot landed on the dirt covered barn floor, I ducked into the first stall I came upon, which belonged to a chestnut filly named Cricket.

"Hey girl," I said softly, smoothing my hand down her white spotted nose. "You don't mind if I hang in here for a while, do you?"

Cricket flicked her long tail at what I was assuming was a fly, but I took it as a yes.  
>"Thanks," I whispered. "It can be just us girls for a bit. It would be nice not having to deal with some stupid boys for a moment."<p>

"I feel as though I should be offended."

I sighed and looked over my shoulder to see Gale leaning casually against the stall door.  
>"You know she doesn't understand a word you're saying."<p>

I scoffed. "Of course she does," I said indignantly. "I'm pretty sure that boys being stupid is a sentiment shared by all species. You know that young colt, Patriot, was hassling her in the pasture the other day."

"Well, maybe she should break up with him if he makes her unhappy."

I inhaled sharply through my clenched teeth, knowing Gale wasn't really talking about the horse in front of me. It wasn't exactly difficult to catch the glint in his eyes.

"Why must you always think the worst of Peeta?"

Gale grinned at me. "Just completing my moral obligations as the best friend."

I rolled my eyes but couldn't stop a small smile from appearing, appreciative and secretly proud that Gale managed to keep us out of potentially friendship damaging waters.

"Well, dutiful best friend, how about you do me a different favor instead of constantly harping on Peeta?"

"Which would be?" Gale prompted.

I bit my tongue. "Coming to a party with me tomorrow night."

I watched Gale's face carefully and I could tell he wasn't pleased. He was trying to hide his displeasure, but years of being completely open and sharing his emotions with me was betraying him. It was second nature to him to react and I could read Gale like a book. The only problem was I didn't understand the change in his emotions.

"Why do _you_ want to go to a party?" Gale asked in a surly voice.

Now I understood. Gale assumed that Peeta was forcing me to go. It amazed me how Gale could think so little of the boy I thought the world of.

"Gale, stop it," I warned.

"He's changing you," Gale defended. "I don't like it."

"Oh please, Gale," I said. "How long have you known me? Don't you think I have a good reason for wanting to go to this party?"

"Okay, I'll bite. Please, enlighten me. Why do you want to go?"

"It's Tyler Rowley's party."

"Well, that seems like a pretty good reason _not_ to go. And why do you need me? Won't your precious boyfriend be there?"

"Yes, that's exactly why I have to go," I snapped.

Gale's eyebrows shot up his forehead, almost completely disappearing behind the strands of hair flattened across his brow. "Are you jealous of someone, Catnip?"

My mind immediately flashed to the night of the homecoming dance and the picture of Delly sprawled on the floor came into focus, an action of which I still felt embarrassed about and had yet to apologize for. Even though this had nothing to do with the party, I still felt my cheeks warm and I prayed that Gale wouldn't notice in the hazy light. I turned my back to him, but I still felt his gaze burning a hole right through me, making me feel so transparent that I wouldn't be surprised if I faded completely into the scenery.

"It's just…" I began, pressing my forehead deeply into one of Cricket's strong shoulders. "If I go to Tyler's party, Peeta will realize I'm fine and stop pestering me about my spectacular lunchtime meltdown."

"You haven't told him?" Gale asked, not sounding all that surprised.

"No, I haven't and I'm not going to," I stated fiercely, my tone warning Gale not to argue. "Just, please come with me, Gale. It'll be easier with you there. And it's not like you'd feel out of place or anything. I mean, a lot of people your age will be there. It's the weekend before Thanksgiving break, everyone'll be home from college. You'd probably end up going anyway."

Okay, I was officially rambling and I didn't even know if the last part was true, although it probably was. In a small town like ours, all of the grades were close with one another so it wouldn't be strange for some older kids to show up at our party. Not to mention that Tyler has an older brother who's Gale's age and he'd be sure to invite some people. I didn't know why I was practically begging for Gale's attendance, but suddenly the thought of going inside that house without him made me queasy.

"So will you go with me?" I asked quietly, chancing one more peek at Gale. He had a scowl on his face that could rival my own. I gulped.

"You already know how I feel about this particular subject."

I did know. He wanted me to tell Peeta, making this whole charade unnecessary. But as I told him, I already ruled that option out. "So is that a no?"

Gale huffed and ran one hand back and forth through his hair several times before replying.

"No, I'll go with you because you're right. I do know you and you're stubborn enough to show up at that party anyway. And I don't want you to go to that house without me."

I smiled, feeling some tension being released from my body even though I had complete faith that Gale would eventually accept my proposal. He may be a hardhead, but Gale had always had a soft spot for me. "What time should I expect you?"

Gale shook his head in self-disgust, noting that he had given me exactly what I wanted. "I'll see you at nine."

So at precisely nine o'clock the next night, Gale's headlights put a glare on my bedroom window, announcing his arrival. I yelled a quick goodbye to Prim and ran out the door before my nerves got the better of me. I jogged lightly across the patch of grass that sadly passed itself off as my front lawn and slid into the open seat of Gale's truck in a manner I hoped Gale took as nonchalance.

"Hey," I stated, not even bothering to look at him in fear that he'd try to talk me out of going again. I sat still, impatiently blinking away my nerves, waiting for the overwhelming roar of the engine to fill the silence that had deadened all movements since I entered the truck.

"Gale," I chirped exasperatedly, "can we go alread – "

I swallowed the rest of my sentence as I finally turned to look at Gale. He was staring at me without blinking, a feat I hadn't known he was capable of until this moment.

"What's with you?" I asked, my eyes darting over my shoulder in hopes of finding something remotely interesting that would be worthy of having Gale so raptured.

"Damn, Catnip," Gale said, his voice huskier than its usual timbre. "You're making it really difficult to be your friend."

My eyebrows immediately descended toward each other. I had prepared myself for Gale's feeble attempts at convincing me to stay home, but I wasn't expecting him to play at our recently stabilized friendship. "I'm not forcing you to go, Gale," I told him shortly. "If going tonight is such a strain on our friendship, just drop me off and leave. I don't need you to stay."

Gale groaned and fell back against his seat, allowing his eyes to shut. "You are so dense," he said before snapping his head back toward me. "Why can't you take a compliment like a normal girl?"

I had no idea what he was talking about. I replayed his short sentence briefly in my head. There was definitely nocompliment in there. I just stared at him, my confusion blatantly evident in my expression. I watched Gale's eyes drop slowly and then flash back to my face. Even by the dim light of the streetlamp I could tell that Gale's cheeks were flushed.

"I never seen you wear anything like that before," he supplied as an explanation.

Oh. Gale thought I looked _attractive,_ reminding him and, I guess, me of how he wanted to be more than friends making me feel both guilty and awkward with one sentence. I looked down at my outfit and I couldn't argue with what Gale had said; these clothes were nothing like the ones I normally wore. A low cut tank top tucked into a short and tight high waisted skirt was a far cry from my t-shirt and jeans style. The only reason I even owned something like this was because my mother had bought it for me sometime during freshman year, insisting that I would need it. They had remained buried at the back of my closet for four years, tags stilled pinned to them, until I managed to dredge them up from the shadowy depths two hours ago. I choked out a garbled "thanks," and then we were on our way, both pretending that we didn't feel the uncomfortable tension between us.

Gale had to park a block away from the house, but even from that distance I could hear the uncontrollable noise emanating from the party. It was a stark contrast to the quiet between Gale and I as we walked shoulder to shoulder down the street.

"What's with all the streamers?" I asked, pointing to the various decorations tied to bumpers of parked cars.

Gale let out a short laugh. "You really are helpless, Catnip. They won the game today. The team is going to states."

"Oh," I replied quietly, wanting to slap my head at my stupidity. I had completely forgotten about the semifinals today. I had been too worried about tonight to even contemplate anything else. I looked at Gale expectantly. "How did Peeta do?"

"Good," was all I got in response.

We paused as we came upon Tyler's home, steeling ourselves for the worst. The house itself seemed to be stuffed to the brim, teenagers literally spilling out of the front door and onto the lawn where debris was already scattered. The walls were vibrating with overexcited energy and blaring music that was being blasted from the basement. I almost wanted to laugh at the stereotypical scene.

I clung onto Gale as he forced his way into the house, shoving half drunk people to the side. I was already uncomfortable but I managed to stomach the stench of body odor mixed with stale beer. Once inside, I immediately swept the scene in hopes of spotting Peeta. The sooner I found him, the quicker I'd be able to make an excuse and leave. So imagine my displeasure when the first person I ran into was none other than the host of this dreadful shindig, Tyler Rowley.

"Katniss!" Tyler exclaimed with wide eyes after accidently trampling into me. "Gale!" Tyler's eyes widened even further.

"Tyler," I said stoically. Gale crossed his arms and didn't say anything.

"Wow, I – I can't believe – just wow, you came and…" Tyler babbled uncomfortably, clearly already under the influence of alcohol. He swayed on the spot as his glazed over eyes darted between us. He blinked, trying to focus the haze away. "I didn't expect you to – not that you shouldn't be here or anything, but I know you don't like me and…I'm happy you came."

I tried my best not to roll my eyes. I know Tyler had invited me, but that was only to please Peeta. I was not under any false pretenses that Tyler was actually glad that I was there. He was as unhappy at seeing at his party as I was to be there. That was why my entrance had thrown him so off balance. However, I was attempting to be on my best behavior so I offered Tyler a small smile.

Tyler jumped on my extended truce and gave me a huge grin in return. "So, yeah…um…drinks are in the kitchen. Food is practically everywhere. There's dancing in the basement if you're into that and… Well, you know where everything is. Have fun!"

Tyler made to disappear into the crowd, but I grabbed his arm before he got the opportunity. Tyler flinched, but turned back to face me.

"Do you know where Peeta would be?"

Tyler visibly relaxed and let out a breath. "He was over there like five minutes ago." He pointed off toward the stairs.

I nodded my thanks and towed Gale behind me as I forced people to make a path. It didn't take very long to find Peeta. He was standing precisely where Tyler had motioned, his arm thrown over the banister as he leaned with a casual tilt. The now familiar eager and warm sensation bubbled in my stomach as I watched him swipe his blond hair away from his eyes. He nodded and smiled before taking a sip out of the red plastic cup in his hand. It was only then that I realized he wasn't standing there alone.

Delly Cartwright had her claws on his shoulder, giggling and batting her eyelashes at him. That horrendous feeling I had at the homecoming dance returned with a vengeance, only this time, the pain was multiplied. I hated feeling this way: jealous and a little bit betrayed? I hated that Peeta could make me feel this. The only difference between now and homecoming was that there was no longer anything stopping me from physically damaging that pretty little face of hers.

I curled my arm around Gale's, pulling him closer to me as we walked up to the pair. Maybe Peeta would stop flirting with Delly if he understood the pain you could feel at seeing someone you like attached to someone else.

"Peeta," I said with a false sugary tone accenting my voice, stopping a foot from him. I turned and glared at Delly, shooting as much malice toward her as I could muster. Her hand was frozen in place on his bicep. Did this girl seriously learn nothing from homecoming? She was about five seconds away from losing a limb. Thankfully, Delly seemed to receive the message and dropped her arm quickly.

Peeta's face had brightened when he noticed my arrival and he gave me a warm greeting, clearly missing my sour mood, before nodding his head pleasantly at Gale. Gale's return nod surprised me even more than Peeta's polite welcome. Since when were they on friendly terms? Suddenly, clutching Gale's arm lost its appeal and I let it fall in my confusion. Unexpectedly, I felt out of the loop. I didn't know what was going on between Peeta and Delly and I was even more perplexed by Peeta and Gale's cordial state. Feeling out of place there, in _that_ house, abruptly brought to my attention how wrong it was that I was there in the first place. I needed to get out, the sooner the better, but I couldn't leave Peeta without an explanation again. I just needed a distraction, or fresh air, or… or _something_ to help my get through the night.

"So what do you think, Katniss?"

I became aware that Peeta's arm was now around my waist and that he had just asked me a question. Unfortunately, I had absolutely no idea what it was about or where to begin to try to answer it. Gale was peering down at me with a concerned expression. I knew he was waiting for me to break down. He was prepared to catch the pieces if or when I did. He probably knew exactly what I was or was trying not to think about.

I cleared my throat as I grasped for something to say. It became unbearable to remain standing there with Peeta, his arm fastened around me, knowing I was hiding my biggest secret from him while it was staring him blatantly in the face. I couldn't take mixing Peeta with this house; it wasn't right. It suddenly became hard to breathe, my throat constricting around my windpipe with an anaconda-like grip. Instead of spewing out an answer to whatever random question I was supposed to be answering, I choked out one short sentence. "I'll – I'll be right back."

**Author's Notes: I know, it was an awkward place to end the chapter. I just wanted to get something up quickly because I feel so guilty about making everyone wait so long. I have no excuse other than I had major writer's block so I took some time off hoping that when I returned it would be easier. So far my break has worked.**

**Anyway, I stopped the chapter here because, one, I wanted to post for you guys, and two, if I wrote the chapter to where I expected to end it, it would be obscenely long. The next part will be the rest of the party and we will finally learn what Katniss's secret is! And for those who feel like I've been writing too much about Gale lately, it will be in Peeta's POV. Get excited and look for the update. Just be aware that I might end up adding the next part to the end of this chapter instead of making a new chapter entirely. I haven't decided yet.**


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

**Peeta POV**

I watched Katniss go with a paralyzing pain. She didn't make it more than a few feet before bodies were swept between us and I lost her in the crowd. At this point, whatever had been bothering Katniss was becoming debilitating and I was reaching the end of my patience. If I hadn't known it would be unproductive, I'd force Katniss into a secluded space and demand she tell me what's wrong. I didn't think she realized what her anguish was doing to me. That's all I had been able to think about. It was a miracle I could focus during the game today.

When I turned back to my companions, I was surprised to find Gale still standing next to me, a scowl on his face that could rival Katniss's. His eyes were bound in the direction Katniss had disappeared before he honed in on me. "Aren't you going after her?" His tongue was sharper than his eyes.

Honestly, I wasn't sure if that was the best idea. The few times I had chased after Katniss had not turned out well. After the first time, we didn't speak for a week and the most recent one resulted in Katniss running straight to _Gale._ That still left a sour taste on my tongue. In fact, I was shocked that _he_ hadn't run after her.

"This is all your fault," Gale continued.

His words cut deeper than a blade. I swear he just hacked me off at the knee. That had been what I was most frightened of: that _I _was the one causing all of Katniss's distress. As much as I loved her, I couldn't bare being with her knowing I wasn't what was best for her.

"The only reason she's even here is because of you."

I didn't want to stand there and listen to Gale berate me so I cut off his rant by addressing Delly. "Delly, I'm really sorry, but I do need to take care of this. I hope you don't mind me abandoning you again."

Delly squeezed my arm gently, her dainty fingers barely making an indent. "Not at all, Peeta," she said with a graceful smile. "Go take care of your girlfriend. I'm sure Gale wouldn't mind keeping me company." Her eyes slid sideways to look up at Gale. "It is Gale, right?"

Delly's suggestion had wiped all the anger out of Gale's features. Now, he was staring down at her with a blank expression, blinking stupidly. "Uh…yeah."

I swung my head imperceptibly between the two of them; they both had their gazes locked on the other, their eyes reflecting their mutual interest. I smirked as I turned away without saying goodbye.

I didn't know if Delly had said anything, but I barely made it halfway across the room before Gale stopped me again. He stood in front of me, his hand slowly dragging down the front of his face, elongating his features. "Look, man, I'm sorry."

I gave him an incredulous look.

"I know it's not your fault that Katniss is here," Gale explained further. "She somehow got it in that stubborn head of hers that going to this party would prove something to you."

I frowned at this. I told her not to come for that specific reason.

"I know it wasn't your idea. And as much as I don't like you, I know that you'd never force Katniss into doing something. Frankly, I don't think you'd be able to. So don't listen to me and blame this on yourself."

I nodded, unsure of how else to respond. Thinking Gale had finished, I started to move again, but Gale raised his hands to block my path.

"Just…when you find her…Katniss is going to be a little sensitive tonight." Gale scrunched his nose in discomfort. It didn't feel right calling Katniss sensitive. Katniss seemed anything but. However, I had recently come to learn that she just built up impressive scabs, but underneath she was all tender. I understood that I was treading near an open wound. "Be careful of what you say. And try to get her to leave. Go with her. I don't care. Just get her out of this house."

I wanted to ask why, but I knew Gale wasn't offering an explanation. Gale was loyal. I could respect that about him. And I sadly trusted him enough to do as he said. "I promise. I'll try."

With that I was off searching the house in hopes of finding Katniss quickly. It was easy enough to navigate through the rooms. Tyler's house was a mirror image of mine; the rooms were all in the same order and of same proportion, but on the opposite side of the house. I walked from room to room stretching to my full height, hoping to catch sight of the braid I loved so much. Katniss's height was a disadvantage. She stood shorter than all of the guys and half the girls. Her dark brown hair did little to help me pick her out of a crowd as well.

After twenty-five minutes of searching, I was beginning to accept the fact that I wasn't going to find her, thinking maybe she had found Gale and they had gone home. I almost wished that was what she did. I literally had just decided to find Tyler to tell him I was ditching as well when I spotted Katniss coming out of the kitchen through the swinging door, red cup in hand. She stopped a few feet from the door and pressed her palm into the dining room table to steady herself.

Relief flooded my veins and I refused to blink as I made my way towards her, knocking people over in the process. When I was standing besides her, I quickly gathered her into my arms, her feet slightly lifting from the floor in my excitement. I pressed a kiss to the top of her head before setting her down again. Her usual scent was twisted with a tang of alcohol, but I gladly soaked it up. It was a bit of an overreaction, but I wasn't exactly sober myself.

"Thank god, Katniss," I said, bending down to her level. "I've been looking everywhere for you."

"Well, you found me," Katniss said in mock celebration. She brought the cup still clenched in her grasp to her lips and tilted it back for a deep swallow.

"Are you okay?" I asked hesitantly, suddenly aware that her gray eyes were extremely cloudy.

"I'm fine, Peeta," Katniss snarled a little too harshly and a little too loudly. A couple people standing in the room glanced over to us with raised eyebrows.

Katniss was in an obvious bad mood and clearly a little tipsy. I had to step carefully to avoid setting her off. First, I tried to soothe her by combing my fingers through her hair. She knocked my hand away with an exasperated motion before taking another gulp of liquid. Plainly, she wasn't to be eased so I refocused my efforts on trying to keep my promise to Gale. My usual free flowing words were harder to come by. They seemed to be obscured in the mist the buzz had laid over my mind.

"Lets get out of here," I began, pushing some of Katniss's hair behind her ear just to make sure she was listening to me.

"Why?"

"It's too loud and crowded here." Wow. That was the lamest excuse ever and I was sure Katniss saw right through it. "I'd rather just hang out you and me. Just go somewhere quiet and talk. I've missed you. We could walk over to my house. No one's home."

Just as I expected, Katniss's eyes narrowed. She was incredibly perceptive for someone under the influence. Or maybe I was _that_ off my game. Either way, she brought her strong hand to my chest and shoved me forcibly back so I stumbled over my feet before coming to a stop a few feet away.

"Fuck you," she stated simply.

"Katniss, I just want – "

"I know what you _want_, Peeta. But there is no way in hell you're going to get it." She stepped closer to me, leaving just an inch of space between our bodies. Her eyes scanned the room to make sure no one was listening before continuing in a low, hostile voice. "I don't know what kind of girls you're used to or what you think of me, but I am not some easy slut who will sleep with you after less than a month of dating."

My mouth did a cartoon style jaw drop. I couldn't believe how badly she misinterpreted my intentions. I didn't know what she thought of _me_, but I was still a virgin. While I'd like nothing more than to sleep with Katniss, I knew we weren't there yet. And under no circumstances would I allow our first time to be when either of us was drunk. I fumbled hastily to correct the mistake. "No – no, Katniss. That wasn't what I meant at all. Honestly. I'm just bored of this party and want to leave. We don't have to go back to my house. We can go somewhere else?"

Katniss's features softened slightly, but she seemed to latch onto my true intentions, which was almost worse. She grinded her teeth together in frustration before exhaling an aggravated grumble. "Why can't you get this through that thick skull of yours?" Katniss practically shouted. "I'm fine! There's nothing wrong!" Like clockwork she took another sip of her drink. "If you're so bored of this party, why don't _you_ get out of here? I, for one, am having a _great_ time. In fact, I'm going to go continue to have a great time right now!"

Katniss chugged the rest of her drink, crushed the plastic in her fist, and threw the crumpled cup to the ground. Giving me one last glare, she practically sprinted out of the room. I tried to follow her, but she evaporated as soon as she reached the hallway. Her disappearance act was impressive. She was like trying to catch smoke. I wasn't drunk enough for this.

I began my search all over again, tearing through the house with a newfound speed. I was stopped once by some star struck freshman who wanted to talk about the game with me. Completely out of character, I asked for the drink in his hand, not listening to a word he was saying. He handed the cup over like a dutiful servant and I finished the liquid before he finished his next sentence, relishing the burn that coated my throat. With a slight apology, I left the boy dazed in my wake, hoping I was sober enough to remember his face in the morning.

During my search, it seemed as though I could locate everyone I knew except for Katniss. I ran into most of my football team, who all gave me a slap on my back, my lab partner from physics class, and the girl who always seemed to pull into the senior parking lot right after me in the mornings. I spotted Gale and Delly from a distance. They were standing close to each other while Delly talked animatedly with her hands. I gave them a wide berth, not wanting to face Gale's disappointment at the moment. Finally, I got some hope when I found Madge playing beer pong with Tyler in the living room. I came up behind them just after Madge sank the winning shot in the lonely cup on the other side of the table.

"Drink up, losers," Madge stated proudly, giving Tyler a high five. My eyebrows skyrocketed. I had never seen this side of Madge who was normally so reserved and quiet.

I tapped both of them on the shoulder and they spun around in unison. Before I had a chance to speak, Madge launched herself at me, her arms wrapping tightly around my neck. "Oh my gosh, Peeta! It's so good to see you!"

Seeing that I was overwhelmed, Tyler helped ease her off of me, keeping his arm around her shoulder after he did so. "Easy there, Madge. No need to suffocate the man."

Madge giggled, wrapping her arms around Tyler's waist instead. I sent Tyler a silent question at the action and he shrugged slightly in response. I shook my head, deciding to think about this development later.

"Have either of you seen Katniss recently?"

Madge hiccupped, but nodded her head enthusiastically. "Oh, yes! She was in here five minutes ago and I asked her if she wanted to play beer pong with us, but she said she didn't want to interrupt. She went off in that direction." Madge lifted her hand towards the foyer where the staircase was located.

"Do you need help finding her, man?" Tyler asked, genuine concern tainting his face.

"No thanks. I got it," I said. "Besides, you two are the current beer pong champs. You've got to go defend your title."

"True that," Tyler grinned, pulling Madge back with him towards the table.

I took off in the opposite direction, shoving people out of my way with haste. With any luck, Katniss would still be loitering in the foyer and I'd be able to catch up with her. Hopefully, she wouldn't make a big scene this time. The foyer was where I saw Gale and Delly and it would do me no favors for Gale to see Katniss freak out on me. Unfortunately, the scene I stumbled upon when I rounded the corner was much worse.

Off to the right of the staircase stood a menacing boy I didn't recognize. His size alone was daunting. He had to be at least six foot five with swollen muscles that stretched the fabric of his printed t-shirt and veins protruding out of his thick neck. His blond hair was spiked in the front and along his left forearm was a black and gray tattoo of a pack of wolves with their teeth bared. However, I barely registered any of this. All of my attention was focused on the girl standing not a foot in front of him.

Katniss was looking up at this monstrous boy with scrunched eyebrows and a hint of terror in her eyes that wouldn't be detectable for anyone who didn't know her well. Her right wrist was clenched in the boy's left fist. She jerked her arm back in an attempt to escape his grasp, but he simply tightened his hold, his knuckles turning white with the effort. Katniss grimaced. I was sure it was from the pain. This boy seemed to have enough strength to snap Katniss in half without blinking an eye. The thought got me moving faster than I thought imaginable.

I tripped over an overturned chair as I fought my way towards them. The boy was now leaning down and saying something directly into Katniss's ear. Whatever his words were, they were not to Katniss's liking. She sneered and started to fight harder to get away. I knew she didn't have a chance. Katniss may be fierce for her size, but this boy simply overwhelmed her. He was probably twice her weight.

I reached them just in time to catch the end of one of his sentences. " – why you better watch your back, bitch," he growled in a cruel tone.

That was all the incentive I needed to rip him away from her. Between the strength I got from the adrenaline coursing my body and the element of surprise, I was able to break the boy's clutches and push him back against the opposite wall. His sturdy body hit with a thud and one of the photos on the wall came crashing to the floor, splintering in all directions. I would have to apologize to Tyler later. The people around us became lethally silent, all eyes trained to the unexpected confrontation.

Without taking my eyes of my opponent, I spoke through a clenched jaw. "Katniss, get out of here."

I could tell she didn't move. The silence was ringing in my ears. The boy's heavy breaths were suffocating me. I knew I wouldn't be able to hold him back much longer. His shock was wearing off and I was at a disadvantage in height and size. The muscle tone on this kid literally made me look scrawny. I still thought I'd hold my own in a fight. My wrestling skills would help and he would underestimate my strength. I didn't want Katniss to witness that, though.

"Peeta, I – "

"Katniss, go! I'll deal with this asshole."

I didn't get the chance to see if she listened to me. With a quick move, the boy I had trapped somehow got his arms underneath mine and practically lifted me off the ground. He charged viciously at my body and shoved me all the way across the hallway where my back met the far wall. A sharp pain radiated up my spine and I groaned.

The boy was swifter than I thought his frame would allow. He had me pinned to the wall within seconds, his right arm pressed firmly against my windpipe. He snarled at me, his eyes blackened with hatred. "Who the fuck are you?"

I wanted to do something rebellious like spit in the guy's eye like they do in the movies, but I was in no position to attempt anything mutinous. I could barely breathe. I tried choking out an answer, but it came out as a gurgled mess until the boy lessened the pressure on my throat slightly. "Peeta Mellark. I'm Katniss's boyfriend."

The boy threw his head back and cackled. I hadn't been scared of him up until that point, but that laughed screamed maniac. Suddenly, I didn't know if he had any limits.

"That's rich," the boy said, amusement flooding his tone. "That whore actually found someone desperate enough to go out with her."

I was seething underneath his grasp. Never had I felt as angry in my entire life. My hands twitched, longing to do something excessive like gouge his eyes out. I rocked my shoulders, trying to get away from him, but he just pressed me more firmly into the wall.

"Don't call her that," I sneered.

"You should have minded your own business, lover boy," the boy continued. "Your girl and I have some unfinished affairs between us."

"You better not go anywhere near her ever again," I screamed. "Don't touch her. Don't talk to her. Don't even look at her."

The boy laughed again, a sadistic smile on his face. His arm dug into my throat so I had to struggle for every breath. He was practically supporting my weight. "I don't think you're in any position to make demands," he said. "That bitch isn't worth getting your ass kicked, is she?"

"Don't call her that," I repeated with more force.

"You have no idea, do you?" The boy looked down at me as if I was the most pathetic person on the planet. "She's scum, just like her father. They'd both be better off dead."

I was pretty sure I blacked out from rage at this point because I had no idea how I managed to get myself out from under his control. I found myself on top of him on the floor, screaming profanities in his face. I managed to get one good punch in before he regained his domination, rolling us over so he had the upper hand. One of his hard fists landed squarely in my eye and I yelped at the pain. He landed another one on my stomach and jaw. I tried to jerk upwards to throw him off me, but he pressed his knees firmly into my chest to halt the effort. A windmill of punches fell around my face and I raised my arms for protection. He made the mistake of leaving my legs free. I was just about to use them for momentum when I felt his weight disappeared from my chest. I opened my eyes to find that Gale had come to my aid. He currently had the boy in a headlock.

I got to my feet quickly, brushing off my shirt and swiping the blood away from my split lip. I smiled slightly when I noticed the shiner appearing on the boy's face. At least it wasn't completely one sided.

It didn't take the boy long to wrangle himself out of Gale's grasp, but now it was two on one and he knew better than to fight back.

"That was a pretty dumb move you made tonight, Hunter," Gale spoke, his voice foreboding.

"I'm surprised to see you here, Hawthorne," Hunter said, his eyes narrowing at Gale. "But not as surprised as I was to see her. Isn't that illegal or something? We should call the cops, but this is the sheriff's house now and we both know the cops don't actually do their jobs."

"Stop being bitter. It's been years."

I glanced around at the crowd that had gathered. People surrounded us on all sides, creating a seemingly impenetrable wall with countless gawking eyes. At least all of them reflected the confusion I felt.

Hunter, however, didn't miss a beat. "And here you both are being chummy with the sheriff's son. The bitch has even progressed enough to take on a lover."

Both Gale and I flinched at the term, incredibly uncomfortable.

Hunter smirked. "No love lost between the two of you, huh?

"What are you doing back here, Hunter?" Gale quickly and smartly diverted the subject.

At this, Hunter's eyes hardened and he lost all sarcasm and mockery from his tone. "Maybe I've come to finally see a little retribution."

"Beating up Katniss's boyfriend won't give you that," Gale said. "He's got nothing to do with this."

"He," Hunter's eyes flicked toward me and I glared steely back at him, "just got in my way. If you'd like to switch places with him then by all means, go ahead. I don't mind."

"Cato." Tyler had pushed his way through the crowd and came to stand in between Cato and Gale and me. "I think it's time for you to leave."

Cato or Hunter or whatever his name was glared icily at Tyler, his feet not budging. "You Rowleys always feel like you can tell everyone what to do."

I was impressed when Tyler didn't look the slightest intimidated. He was easily the smallest between the four of us. He took a large step forward so he was right in Cato's face. "You are in _my_ house and you just beat up _my_ best friend. So get the fuck out!"

Surprisingly, Cato didn't argue. He simply let out a small snort, told Gale that nothing was over yet, and marched himself out of the house. The party had become so quiet that everyone jumped when the front door slammed shut. I let out a relieved breath. Confrontation was never my strong suit. Tyler rushed everyone out of the foyer and slowly, the noise picked up again, vibrating the walls and floors.

I turned to thank Gale for his help, but he cut me off before I had the chance, shaking his head.

"It was nothing. I've always hated that asshole." He then walked back over to Delly who was waiting nervously in the doorway, biting on one of her nails.

Somehow, Tyler had managed to sneak up behind me. "She went upstairs."

I started at his voice, but understood immediately whom he was talking about. Without replying, I ran up the stairs, taking them two at a time. All of the rooms upstairs had their doors shut except for the one at the very end of the hallway. I sprinted down the corridor and burst into the room, throwing the door fully open so it crashed into the desk hiding behind it. Katniss was sitting on the edge of the bed centered in the room, one hand pressed deeply into the dark cover. She looked up when I entered. Her eyes were blood shot and red rimmed and she was holding a bottle of vodka that was basically empty.

"Katniss."

She stood slowly, almost falling back to the bed as she tried to gain her balance. She was eons more drunk than the last time we had spoken. She took small steps toward me, circling the bottle in her hand by the wrist so what little vodka was left sloshed up sides of the container.

"You found me again, Peeta!" She let out a small laugh. "You are just so – you are so, so good at doing that."

She made to bring the bottle to her lips, but I snatched it out of her hands before she got the chance.

"Hey! That's mine!" she pouted.

"I think you've had enough."

"No!" She reached out to try and grab it back, but stumbled in the process. I caught her with one arm while continuing to hold the bottle out of her reach. "No fair!"

"You've had enough to drink, Katniss," I told her.

She crossed her arms against her chest, pushing her breasts together. "Well, don't waste it then. You drink it."  
>"I don't think – "<p>

"Drink it!" She said firmly.

I sighed. Not wanting to fight about this, I swallowed the shot or two that was left at the bottom and coughed at the after taste. I deposited the empty bottle on the desk behind me. "Happy?" I asked her.

"Yes," she purred, suddenly pressing her body against mine and reaching up behind my neck. Her mouth left a trail of kisses up my jaw and to my ear where she immediately sucked the lobe into her mouth.

I squeezed my eyes shut, attempting to stay focus. It was extremely difficult. Between the buzz slowing my brain and the feeling of Katniss's mouth on me, I couldn't think straight. My hands were at her waist, my thumbs rubbing circles into her hipbones. "Katniss," I moaned. "Are you – are you okay?"

"Mmm hmm," Katniss mumbled, not pausing in her ministrations.

"I mean about that boy…downstairs…when he…" I grumbled when she left my ear and kissed back down my jaw.

"I'm good," Katniss whispered, her lips barely a centimeter from mine. "Lets not worry about Cato Hunter. He's not here now, is he?"

"No," I groaned and closed the miniscule gap between our lips.

Somewhere, in the back of my mind I knew I wouldn't be doing this if I was sober, but the rest of my mind didn't seem to care. Katniss was never this aggressive and I couldn't deny that it was a major turn on. She jumped into my arms, her legs wrapping securely around my waist and I carried her speedily to the bed. I dropped her down and promptly climbed on top of her, pressing light kisses along her throat and collarbone.

Katniss clawed at my shirt until she ripped it over my head and tossed it to the side. She ran her fingers gently up and down my chest. I hummed at the contact; each touch sending chills right down to my toes. I was starting to get lightheaded. Katniss's hand latched onto my shoulder and pushed steadily until I understood what she wanted. I lay down on my back so she could straddle me, her legs caging my hips. She gave me a small smile before tugging her own shirt over her head. I could do little more than stare as I was met with her breasts shielded by a black, lacy bra. The sight, while immensely enjoyable, sobered me up immediately.

I sat up, not sure if I was going to regret what I was about to do. Katniss was going at my neck again, but I pushed her away gently and lifted her off of my lap. "Katniss, stop."

"Why?" She asked, tilting her head slightly. "This is what you wanted, right? Me and you alone…doing stuff…"

"What? No!" I said quickly, shaking my head so I could refocus. "I mean, yes, eventually I want that for us. Just not right now."

"Why not now?" Katniss whined, clearly intoxicated. "I just – I like you so much, Peeta. Like I like you, you understand?"

I nodded, a small smile on my face. I couldn't deny that drunk Katniss was extremely entertaining. But she was also not herself. And even if I thought that we were ready for the next step, I would not feel comfortable taking advantage of her like that.

"I want you, Peeta."

Okay, if I wasn't hard already I was definitely hard now. She knew how to make life extremely difficult for me. "I want you too. But we can't do anything now. Not like this. Not here in Tyler's bedroom."

Katniss got on her knees and gave me a sharp slap to the chest.

"Ow! What was that for?"

"This is _not_ Tyler's bedroom!"

I gave her a sympathetic smile. "This is Tyler's bedroom, sweetie. That's where we are right now, remember? We came to Tyler's house for a party?"  
>"This is <em>not<em> his room!" Katniss repeated, suddenly jumping out of bed and crossing to the corner of the room where a large, dark, wooden dresser stood. She put one hand on each corner of the dresser and started to tug, throwing her entire body into the motion.

"Katniss, what are you doing?" I asked hesitantly, going over to stand next to her.

"Move, dresser, move!" she said, grunting with exertion. She heaved for several more minutes before pushing me towards the piece of furniture. "Move it!" she shrieked at me, placing each one of my hands on the polished wood.

I conceded to her request reluctantly and dragged the heavy object a few feet away from the wall, hoping that I wasn't scratching up the floor in the process. As soon as the dresser had moved, Katniss squeezed behind it, dropping gracelessly to the ground. Curious, I followed her actions.

"Look," she said after I was next to her.

"I don't see – "

"Look!" She pointed down toward where the wall met the floor. There, in the very corner of the wooden board that paneled the room, was an etching that read: Katniss Everdeen. I looked back and forth between Katniss and the carving several times, not understanding what I was seeing.

Katniss reached out and touch her name, her finger very carefully outlining each letter. "This is _my _room," she said very quietly. Then she burst into tears.

I rocked her back and forth steadily in my arms for a good half hour. Her sobs seemed unending. Each time she calmed down, a new set would burst forth from her chest and she'd concave into herself. It was painful to watch. It was worse to listen to.

Finally, her eyes ran dry and she was forced to stop crying. I wiped away the tracks the tears had stained into her cheeks. She looked at me with despondent eyes and it was as if I was seeing her for the first time. I felt that she had come to a decision about me; I just didn't know if it was good or bad yet.

She opened and closed her mouth several times before speaking and when she did, her voice was raspy from all the crying. "When I was about ten years old, my dad got laid off from the plant."

"I'm sorry," I said, not sure how this was relevant, but immensely thankful that she was speaking. "That must have been hard on your family."

Katniss shook her head. "It wasn't. My family was fine financially. When my grandparent's died, they left my mom a big inheritance. It was only hard on my dad. He didn't like feeling useless. After he searched for six months for a job, he started drinking."

I knew it was best not to interrupt. Katniss had gone into some sort of trance, her eyes glazed over, no trace of alcohol seemingly left in her system. She was reliving everything and getting something off her chest that she hadn't for a really long time. I simply tightened my hold on her and listened as she continued.

"I guess it got pretty bad and he was still out of a job two years later. He wasn't the only one. Gale's dad was too. They were drinking buddies. Anyway, one night when I was twelve, my dad went out like he did practically every night, but this time he didn't get back until really late. I remember because even when he was pissed out of his mind, he would always come and kiss me goodnight, even if I was already asleep. But he never came that night.

"It kept me up because I used to secretly wait for him to do it. It reminded me that he still cared. I couldn't sleep without it. But around three in the morning I heard a commotion downstairs and I knew my dad had come home. I snuck out of my room, this room, and sat at the top of the stairs. It was hard to hear what was going on, but I knew my parents were fighting about something and they both sounded panicked. Not long after that, my dad ran out of the house. I never saw him again."

"What?" I asked, at this point enthralled with her story and completely shocked at the sudden turn. "What happened?"

Katniss continued as if I hadn't interrupted. "The next day the sheriff shows up at our house and my mom told me to leave the room. I wanted to know what was going on though, so I snuck outside to hide underneath an open window. That's where I met Gale." Katniss smiled at the memory. It was such a relief to see that expression on her face. "He'd been following the cop, knowing he had something to do with his dad's disappearance. We heard the sheriff explain about the fire at Snow Inc. It was arson and unfortunately people were inside and died. Not many. It was really late, but Snow is known to work his employees hard. Most of the people left in the building didn't have any family. One of them did, though. The worst part was hearing about how Gale's dad and my dad were the ones who started the fire."

Stubbornly, Katniss swatted at tears that had reformed in her eyes. "The police had caught them earlier that day. If they were tried in town, Snow would make sure they got the death penalty. He's corrupted the whole system here. He's practically the judge and jury. They didn't stand a chance."

"Oh my god, Katniss," I whispered, a lump forming in my throat. Stupidly, I wished I could have been there for Katniss even though I had no idea who she was at the time. I rubbed my hand up and down her arm as though that would make everything better. I was completely failing at comforting her at the moment.

"My mom made a deal with the sheriff to save my dad's life. The sheriff fixed it so they would be tried by the state and not the county. It was difficult though and totally illegal. We also wanted it to be kept quiet. No one outside our families would even know that my dad got arrested. So we paid him off. My mom handed over her entire inheritance and the house," Katniss said bitterly. "That's why Tyler lives here now. And we were left with nothing."

Katniss looked back down at her name in the wall. "I carved that the day we left. I wanted this to always be my room and if they ever looked at it, they'd be reminded of what they took from me."

"And what does Cato have to do with any of this?" I asked, still unsure of that piece of the puzzle.

"His dad died that day in the fire," Katniss answered. "His dad was the only one with family. We had to pay them off to keep quiet too. Cato was never happy that his mom accepted the money. He wants to ruin me…and Gale."

I took a deep breath, sensing the end of her explanation. I was overwhelmed by the information. However, as sad as I was for Katniss and how much I regretted that this happened to her, I couldn't help but feel pleased that she finally told me her secret. I had no idea why she felt the need to keep it from me, but the fact that she trusted me now made me content.

I trailed my hand through her hair, enjoying the feeling of having her close, as she let out a sigh and rested her head against my shoulder. "I am so sorry, Katniss. About everything. I don't know what I'd do if everything fell apart on me like it did to you. You are so strong. I know it was you that kept your family together. When your dad comes back, he'll be so proud of you."

"I don't care what he thinks," Katniss snapped. "He's a murderer, Peeta. He doesn't matter to me anymore."

"He's still your dad," I said quietly.

Katniss sighed again and closed her eyes for a few minutes, her breathing evening out. "I apologized to Delly," she said, after a few minutes of silence.

I raised my eyebrows, confused about the direction she just took our conversation.

"For homecoming. When I shoved her?"

I chuckled. "Really?"

"Yeah, but I think I scared her a bit. I kind of yelled it at her while she was making out with Gale."

I burst out laughing, the image of the whole scenario too hilarious. A few giggles even escaped out of Katniss's mouth, but I could tell she was fading fast. The emotional cleansing took a lot out of her. "Lets get out of here."

"Okay," she mumbled against my shoulder.

I smoothly lifted her up into my arms and carried her down the stairs and across the street to my house. Gale had spotted us on the way out so I knew she wouldn't be missed. My house was dark when I opened the front door. My dad had driven out to my brother Ryder's school earlier in the day to pick him up. They would be back in the morning. I assumed my mother was asleep.

Stealthily, I carried Katniss, who was dead asleep in my arms, up to my room. As softly as I could, I placed her in my bed and lifted the covers to her chin. I looked down at the girl who had been broken by events outside her control, but who had been strong enough to overcome the challenges. I knew I was falling further in love with her by the second. My heart had begun to ache whenever I wasn't around her. Her story only made me love her more.

I bent so I was hovering over her face, checking to make sure she was still asleep. Her steady breath blew the bangs out of my eyes. Slowly, I brushed my lips over her forehead. "I love you, Katniss."

I straightened, planning to grab a blanket from the hall closet and sleep in the chair in my room. A small stroke against my hand startled me.

"Peeta?"

I froze, my breath catching in my throat, praying that she didn't hear what I just said. It was too soon. It would freak her out.

"Stay with me."

I let go of the withheld breath, relaxing at her words and happily climbing under the comforter beside her. She was instantly at my side, her head resting on my chest.

As her breathing evened out again, I whispered one more word. "Always."

**Author's Notes: I know it took me forever to write, but it was a long chapter and I also started another story. I thought it would be nice to get this out for Christmas. I hope you enjoyed :)**

**Also...for those who haven't already...look up my other story: Mob Mentality. It's also a Katniss/Peeta fic.**


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

**Katniss POV**

_ Katniss sat at the top of the stairs, her small hands wrapped tightly around the rails of the banister. It was late at night, so she sat in darkness, her breath the only thing keeping her company. At the bottom of the stairs light was cascaded across the space from the adjacent room, pacing shadows dancing back and forth across the floor. Katniss barely could make out the hushed voices of her parents. She leaned forward and strained her neck, hoping it would help her capture the sounds._

_ " – mistake. I barely even remember the night," Katniss's father somber timbre echoed from below. Suddenly, Katniss felt a surge of anger. If her father was home, why had he not come up to wish her a goodnight? Katniss felt slightly betrayed. It was their ritual. He wasn't likely to forget._

_ It was then that Katniss realized her mother was speaking, her voice even quieter than her father's. It took all of Katniss's energy to make out the words._

_ " – it was you. You could stay and fight."_

_ "It doesn't matter," Katniss's father responded harshly. "You know Snow has been after me since I staged that protest at the plant. This is just the excuse he was looking for."_

_ "So what are you going to do?"_

_ "Leave. Now."_

_ There was a clattering from downstairs and Katniss knew something heavy had been placed on the dining room table. Her mom let out a gurgled sob. Katniss was filled with trepidation. Though she had no idea what was going on, the fear was so intense, so real. She was immobile at the top of the stairs, refusing to believe what her father just uttered._

_ "Where will you go?"_

_ "Far. Across the country, maybe. But as soon as I'm settled, I'll send for you and the kids. You know I'd never abandon you."_

_ "I know."_

_ There was more banging and Katniss's mother continued to cry. This went on for several minutes before Katniss's dad spoke again._

_ "I have to go now. Tell my girls I love them."_

_ Katniss's mom must have nodded, for her dad continued. "I love you."_

_ "I love you, too. Be careful."_

_ With that, Katniss's father exited out the back door, sliding the glass pane as quietly as he could. And all Katniss could think was that he had never come upstairs to wish her goodnight._

_ The scene morphed, the lonely staircase evaporating into a mist to reveal a new scene behind it. Now, Katniss stood staring up at a man who was standing in the frame of her front door. She knew he was the sheriff from his uniform and the word that was printed plainly on his left breast._

_ It wasn't long before her mother stood behind her, ushering her out of the way. "Katniss, why don't you go play upstairs. Sheriff Rowley and I are going to discuss something in the parlor."_

_ If there was one thing Katniss hated, it was being told what to do. That combined with her knowledge about the previous night made her hesitant to comply with her mother's wishes. Instead, as soon as the parlor doors were slid closed, Katniss quietly opened her front door and slithered outside. Once outside, she rounded the corner of her house where she knew the parlor room window was. She prayed that the glass had remained opened from the day before and that her mother would not be inclined to close it. She was lucky. The window was opened a crack, just enough to allow the voices from inside to drift out._

_ Before she got caught, Katniss dove into the bushes placed fortuitously right below her desired window. The leaves would conceal her in case someone walked by or her mother decided to take a glance outside. She was startled, however, to find she was not alone in her hiding place. Behind the branches, she found a boy only a few years her senior with dark hair and gray eyes. The sight frightened her enough that she was about to let out an alarmed scream, until the boy clamp his hand forcibly over her mouth._

_ "Shh. Do you want to get caught?" He asked her with wide eyes._

_ Katniss gently shook her head no before he dropped his hand from her mouth._

_ "You know it's illegal to eavesdrop," the boy told her smugly._

_ Katniss's mouth dropped open in outrage. "No, it's not," she argued back in a hiss. "But it is illegal to trespass. Go find your own hiding spot."_

_ The boy shook his head as his eyes flitted to the open window. "No way. I've been following this cop all day. I know he knows something about my dad's disappearance."_

_ "Your dad's missing?" Katniss asked quietly, unable to look the boy in the face._

_ "Yeah, so if you'll just – "_

_ "My dad's missing, too."_

_ The boy's eyes fell back to Katniss, studying her features. He seemed to find what he was looking for because he dropped his guard slightly. "I'm Gale."_

_ Gale was staring at her so intensely that Katniss felt intimidated. She managed to mumble out a response. "Katniss."_

_ "Catnip?" Gale questioned, his nose scrunching as the word fell awkwardly on his tongue. _

_ Katniss didn't have a chance to correct him, as the sheriff's voice finally began to speak. Gale and Katniss both fell silent, only focused on the words being shared in the room above them._

_ "We caught him two towns over. He was with Hawthorne."_

_ Katniss felt Gale tense beside her and she knew immediately that they were speaking of his father._

_ "What does that mean?"_

_ Katniss was surprised by how calm her mother sounded. That was not the voice she had used last night._

_ "They will be tried, most likely for arson, but Snow will be pushing for murder, punishable by the death penalty. There were people in the building after all. And there is significant evidence against Hawthorne and your husband."_

_ "It was an accident."_

_ "Don't matter. Snow has everyone in the county on the payroll. His word is law. I'm sure you understand that there was already a hefty price on your husband's head."_

_ "There must be something you can do."_

_ "That's why I came here, ma'am."_

_ Katniss did not like the sound of the sheriff's voice. It sounded much too slimy for her tastes. She did not trust him._

_ "Yes. Please. Anything."_

_ "Now I'm sure you know this won't be an easy task. I'll be going behind the back of a powerful and ruthless man. It will be costly."_

_ There was a slight pause where all Katniss could hear was the ramming of her heart into her ribcage._

_ "You want money."_

_ "Ma'am, I don't think you understand the risk involved in this. Surely, you didn't think I'd offer my help without a price?"_

_ "How much do you want?" Katniss's mother's voice was fierce and harsh. Katniss had never heard her sound like this before and she wouldn't ever again._

_ "I know your parents left you money. Why don't you write down that number and I'll tell you if this is enough."_

_ There was slight shuffling and the sound of a crisp sheet of paper slicing the air. Katniss's cheeks burned from shame. She wished more than anything that Gale wasn't there to overhear this._

_ "Yes, this should be enough, Mrs. Everdeen. I will save your husband's life. Thank you for your time."_

_ The sound of a chair scraping unpleasantly against the floor reverberated around Katniss's eardrums._

_ "Wait!" Katniss's mother called out. "No one must know about this. My husband just left. He was not tried. He was not sent to prison."_

_ "You bought my silence. No one will breathe a word about any of this."_

_ "And what about Mr. Hawthorne?"_

_ The silence was suffocating. Katniss was sure that Gale had broken out into a sweat._

_ "I've always thought that you have quite a lovely house, Mrs. Everdeen."_

_ As the details were hashed out in order to save Gale's father's life, Gale turned increasingly paler. As soon as they heard the footsteps indicating the sheriff's departure, Gale turned to Katniss, placing both hands on her shoulders._

_ "We can't tell anyone what we heard here today," he demanded._

_ "Never," Katniss agreed, her mind still numb from all the unbelievable information._

_ "Swear to me," Gale insisted. "You'll never tell a soul."_

_ "I swear."_

_ "What your mom just did for my family…" Gale trailed off, clearly uncomfortable with such an act of kindness. "We'll never be able to repay you. I'll never be able to."_

_ "There's no need – "_

_ "I'm going to help you," Gale said determinedly. "This is going to be tough on your family. I'm going to help any way I can."_

_ "Gale, I – "_

_ "Not a soul." Then Gale crawled through the branches and ran to his bike that was thrown across the front lawn._

I opened my eyes slowly to a dark and unfamiliar room. Even as I lay, my head pounded viciously against my skull and my stomach rolled over itself. I wasn't sure if the chills were from the hangover or the dreams I just had. It had been a long time since I relived those days. The unrest I felt from the dreams only intensified when I couldn't remember where I was. Nothing in the room was recognizable. Heavy curtains shielded the window so I couldn't see much. Shades of blue draped the surfaces and there were sport posters on the wall with drawings stapled to the corners.

I squeezed my eyes tightly and tried to remember what happened the night before. The memories were veiled. The images were distorted and the sounds muddled as if my head was underwater. The harder I tried to remember, the blurrier the images became. Frustrated, I started to panic. What did I do last night? _Where am I?_

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes again, focusing on my steady heartbeat. I tried to sort through my foggy memories, trying to locate the last thing I remembered. Bright blue eyes immediately came to the forefront, ever present even in my subconscious. Peeta! He was the last person I was with. That thought was soothing. Peeta wouldn't let anything bad happen to me.

It was just then that I noticed the heavy weight around my waist, holding me down to the mattress. It was an arm; a pale, muscular one that hugged my hips tightly and bent at the elbow so the hand was caressing my stomach. I sucked in a breath. I was in _bed_ with someone. Now that I knew, it was hard to mistake the slow, heavy breaths painting the back of my neck.

_Please be Peeta. Please be Peeta._

I craned my head back, unwilling to twist my body, afraid of waking my mystery bedmate. I released an audible gasp of air when I saw a mop of blond hair. It was Peeta who held me so gently. However, I froze when I noticed what he was wearing. Or what he wasn't wearing. Peeta's bare chest was pressed firmly against my back, his body heat like a warm blanket. The covers were drawn to his waist, so I had no idea if he was wearing something on the bottom. I scanned my own body. I was in an overlarge t-shirt and gym shorts that clearly did not belong to me. I started hyperventilating. Being in clothes was miles better than being naked, but these weren't _my_ clothes. Did that mean – did Peeta and I have _sex?_ I couldn't remember anything that happened outside of the party, so I had no way of knowing.

Suddenly, the bed felt suffocating and I had to get out. Gently, I squeezed out of Peeta's embrace, careful not to wake him, and stumbled into the bathroom attached to the room, fighting the tilted axis of the floor. My hands found purchase on the sink's edges, my fingers curling gratefully around the cool porcelain. I took a moment before looking into the mirror, allowing oxygen to flood the crevices of my lungs. When I lifted my head, the reflection staring back at me wasn't pretty. The face was pale as a flower petal, with black streaks staining the skin under the eyes. The hair was bunched awkwardly, the strands tangled together to form a knot at the back of my head. I brought my hand to my cheek and pressed into the flesh, just to confirm that the reflection was my own. There was an awful taste permeating in my mouth. I splashed water on my face before digging through the cabinets under the sink in hopes of finding a toothbrush I could use. I was lucky and found an unopened pack quickly. Using the toothpaste on the counter, I viciously scrubbed out my mouth. The minty tang immediately made me feel better, color resettling in my face. I bent over, discarding the excess liquid from my mouth and when I straightened, mine wasn't the only face reflected in the mirror's surface. I jumped and let out a small gasp.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you," Peeta said as I turned around to face him.

"No, it's okay," I told him even though my heart was pounding like a jackhammer.

"How are you feeling?" Peeta asked, taking a step closer.

I shrugged. I was hung over, but I didn't want to draw attention to how much I drank the previous night. It would only lead back to what I shared with Peeta only a few hours ago. I was embarrassed and uncomfortable, unsure of how Peeta was going to respond and if he would treat me differently. Not to mention, there was still the distinct possibility that we had sex. The thought made me blush and I tilted my head down so Peeta wouldn't see.

That only made Peeta come closer, running his hand across my forehead and down my shoulder. "Do you think you're going to be sick again?"

I snapped my head up and peered into his concerned eyes. "Again?"

Peeta's brow furrowed. "You don't remember?"

I shook my head, desperately trying to sort through those foggy pictures.

Peeta sighed. "What's the last thing you do remember?"

He looked worried and that made me worry. Perhaps we did have sex and now he felt as though he took advantage of me, which, I hated to admit, would probably be the case. "I – I remember…" I cleared my throat, pushing my voice forward. "I remember you carrying me."

At this, Peeta smiled and gave a soft nod, looking relieved. "Uh, yeah," he said, bringing one hand up to rub the back of his neck. "You were falling asleep and I just wanted to bring you somewhere you could lie down. I'm sorry I didn't bring you home, but I drank so I couldn't drive and – "

"It's fine, Peeta," I said, taking pity on him.

"Good. It's just…" Peeta paused, unsure if he should continue. "You…uh…drank a lot and you kind of…um…threw up a few times during the night."

"Oh." My face dropped. That was almost worse than having sex. "Oh god, Peeta, I'm so sorry."

"Don't apologize. I'm just glad you're feeling better."

I frowned, unwilling to accept his kindness. I wanted to apologize again, but I knew Peeta wouldn't allow it, so we just stood awkwardly in the silence of the bathroom. I could've stayed there for an eternity not saying anything, but Peeta was the savior once again.

"I'm just going to…" he trailed off, nodding his head at the toilet bowl.

"Oh, yeah, right." I scooted around him, my face on fire from extreme levels of embarrassment. Peeta latched onto my wrist as I passed him, forcing me to look him in the eye.

"I'll only be a minute," he told me quietly. "Don't run out on me."

I flinched because in the back of my mind that was exactly what I was thinking of doing. My arm fell as Peeta loosened his grip. I quickly escaped to his bedroom, diving face first onto his mattress. The sheets possessed Peeta's smell I wanted to sink into them, get swallowed whole until I was cradled by their billowy depths.

I was alerted to Peeta's presence several minutes later by a hand lightly grazing my back. I flipped over as Peeta sat at the edge and I pulled at the end of the shirt I wore. Peeta's eyes traced my fingers' movements.

"Sorry about the clothes," Peeta said, blushing violet. "They were the only things I could find that might fit you."

"I could've slept in my clothes."

"You threw up on them," Peeta said apologetically, as though it was his fault. "I wasn't going to let you sleep in them. I – I didn't see anything. It was dark and I didn't even look. You know I'd never take advantage of you, right?"

"I know," I squeaked, suddenly feeling incredibly guilty for even allowing that idea to form.

"I can go get your clothes for you if you want to put them back on now. They're in the wash."

"No," I said, surprising myself. Now that I knew that Peeta and I didn't have sex, his clothes suddenly seemed a lot more appealing. "We can get them later."

"Okay. Good. I didn't want to get them anyway. You look way too hot in my clothes."

I laughed, another surprising response. I began to wonder if I was still partially drunk.

Peeta slid across the bed toward me and leaned back against the pillows, pulling me to his side. His small sigh was a breath of fresh air. I was suddenly incredibly comfortable, my head never wanting to leave the expanse of his muscled torso. A tickling warmth was spreading from the center of my chest to my farthest extremities. I didn't know what I expected, what I thought would be so difficult about telling Peeta the truth, but everything now felt incredibly simple. He and I could just be. There were no barriers that stood in our way. It felt freeing. I felt lucky. But more than anything, I felt loved and that feeling frightened me down to my core. I wanted to run away from that feeling, but I was in too deep. It had clamped its jaws around me forcibly and the fangs had torn their way through my layers of thick skin and pierced my fleshy and tender heart. So instead of running, I sank further into Peeta's embrace.

"Peeta, thanks," I whispered, afraid to disturb our peaceful moment. "For taking care of me."

Peeta chuckled softly. "Anytime, Katniss."

"And for not running," I added, quieter still. "After hearing what you did last night."

Suddenly, Peeta rolled over, slipping from underneath me, so his face hovered above mine. Both hands dug into the mattress on either side of my head, his blue eyes glowing with such intensity that I couldn't look away. Each dilation of his pupils yanked at my heart, forcing it to skip a beat.

"I'm _never_ running away from you," Peeta said fiercely. The conviction in his voice held my breath captive and erased all doubts about his sincerity from my mind. "Do you understand? There's _nothing_ you can do to scare me away from this, Katniss. You're stuck with me until you want to get rid of me."

_Never_, I wanted to say. I'd _never_ want to get rid of him. The truth of that statement hit me with ferocity and scared me further. I was desperate and overwhelmed by these emotions I never experienced before. And in the depths of Peeta's eyes I could see he felt it too. No one had ever looked at me like that before, treasuring my form with a liquid intensity. Not even Gale.

I no longer had control of my actions. I surged forward, attaching myself to his lips as I flipped us over so I lay on top. I swung my leg over his hip so I was straddling him. Peeta groaned when I pushed my full weight down onto his body. I had to tear away for air, but I immediately turned my attention to his strong jaw and I dragged my swollen lips along it until I reached his neck and sucked greedily.

"Katniss," Peeta moaned, melting so he was putty in my hands. "What are you doing?"

I didn't respond, instead electing to run my fingernails down the naked skin of his chest to the waistband of his pants.

Peeta sucked in a breath. "Katniss, stop. You don't have to do this. I don't need – "

But he did need. I could feel his _need_ pressed firmly against my thigh. That thought only further wiped away the last bit of my sanity. I no longer had any idea as to what I was doing. Still, there was some invisible force driving me forward, teasing me with the edge and waiting for me to topple over. My hand continued its journey south, not thinking of the consequences. Dipping under the fabric of his shorts, my fingertips brushed against something hard and I smiled at the feeling of the silky steal. Slowly, I curled my fingers around the member, taking note of the slight pulse running through it. Peeta's breath was short gasps that pressed against my cheek pleasantly. My own breath was harsh, gut I barely paid it attention. All my focus was centered on my hand and Peeta as he jolted in my grasp. I was amazed at my boldness, but now that I was there, I was at a loss at what to do.

"Peeta, show me," I said, turning my eyes back to his. I could see that he still wanted to argue, but that part of him was losing the battle, slain and left bleeding by the side excited by my touch. He leant forward again and brought me into a deeper kiss than before, sucking my tongue into his mouth. I was distracted enough by this action to be surprised when I felt his hand enclose my own. He squeezed harder than I expected and let out a soft grunt into my mouth. He slowly guided my hand up toward the head, forcing my thumb to swirl around the tip before bringing it back down. After a couple strokes, he let me continue on my own, his arm wrapping tightly around my back and his head falling heavily onto the pillow.

"What are you doing to me?" Peeta mumbled. But that was the last coherent thing out of his mouth for the next several minutes. He simply lay there making soft sighs and animalistic moans as I continued my administration.

I was unexpectedly enjoying myself. The sight of Peeta, upper body slick with sweat, writhing underneath me, was immensely pleasurable. Each sound he made, each flex of his hips, was a stroke to my ego and a jolt to my limbic system. He was acting this way because of _me_. He was groaning and panting and shivering in ecstasy because of _my_ actions. It was empowering and made me braver. I stroked him a little harder and added the smallest of twists to my movements. Peeta twitched in my palm. I smiled and planted a kiss in the center of his chest.

It wasn't long before Peeta started thrusting into my hand, rolling his hips in a fluid motion. I picked up my speed to match his pace. His hardness pulsed. I knew he was close.

"So good," Peeta choked out before exploding into my hand. As he came, he moaned out my name, sending chills down my spine. When he finished, Peeta let out a long breath and I leaned over to grab a tissue from his bedside table so I could clean myself up. We lay there, together on his bed, me lounging on his torso, for a long while. Nothing was said. No movement was made. Just the heaving of our chests as we both struggled to regain our breath. The longer the silence remained, the more anxious and embarrassed I felt. That weird sexual high I had that made me brave was evaporating fast as I came crashing down to reality. Was I too forward? What if he didn't like it? I felt extremely self-conscious. I was grateful I still had my clothes on.

Peeta was lazily running his hands up and down my back. His breathing was heavy. I almost wished he'd fall asleep on me. But the odds were not in my favor.

"Katniss?" Peeta's voice was deep and throaty.

Reluctantly, I raised my head from his chest so I could face him. I was met with a breathtakingly beautiful smile. Peeta gazed at me blissfully, his eyes sparkling and his mouth stretched wide over his cheekbones. He leaned forward and interlocked his lips with mine, sucking my breath from me.

"You are amazing," Peeta whispered against my lips. "Absolutely amazing."

"It was okay then?"

"Okay?" Peeta threw his head back in laughter. "It was more than okay, Katniss. I've never felt so good in my life."

He kissed me again and I felt myself relax. If it made Peeta happy, I could hold my freak out until later.

"Just promise me one thing. Promise me you didn't do that because you felt you owed me for last night."

"I didn't. I wanted to do it." My tone was questioning, but not because I was unsure. I was just astonished how definitive that truth was.

"Good." He took me by surprise then and turned us over so he was leaning over my body. "Your turn."

"Peeta, you don't have – " I started.

"I want to," he cut me off, placing a chafe kiss on my lips. "Just let me know if I go too far."

His lips were on my body then, leaving behind trails of fire that scorched my skin. My cheek, the shell of my ear, the hollow of my throat, the peak of my collar bone; all set ablaze by Peeta's touch. It was intense, almost too intense and I gasped as each new patch of skin was consumed by the heat. All the while, Peeta's hands learned the curves of my form, carving circles in my hips with his thumbs. It was impossible to stay still.

Peeta was still nipping at my collarbone when he slipped his hands under the edge of my shirt.

"Is this okay?" Peeta asked, lifting his head only a centimeter from my skin, his pointer finger tracing the rim of my belly button.

I nodded, not having enough breath or wit to find the words.

Peeta slowly trailed his hands further up my body until he was just below my breasts. He only paused for a moment, the slightest hesitation really, before, in one smooth motion, both my breasts were in the palm of his hands. Peeta immediately groaned, raising his head completely to meet my eyes. His gaze didn't waver as he swept his thumbs across my nipples. They hardened to the touch as I whimpered in pleasure. I wanted to keep my eyes opened, but the feeling was too strong, the pure power of the tingles spreading rampant through my body.

"Peeta," I moaned.

"God, Katniss," Peeta murmured before kissing me again.

It was so easy to lose myself in Peeta's kisses. And I did. The background blurred into nonexistence as my tongue battled Peeta's while simultaneously trying not to get overwhelmed by the feeling of his hands on me. I was blissfully content in that moment. If only we could've remained there.

"Peeta Mellark!" a sharp, unpleasant voice tore through Peeta's and my happy bubble.

Peeta immediately pulled back, rolling away so quickly he fell crashing to the floor. "Mom," he choked out.

I was frozen where I lay as I stared at the women who stood opposed in the doorway. She was thin with high cheekbones and a pointy chin. Her hair was a lighter blonde than Peeta's, though I doubted that was natural. Her lips curled and her pale eyes sparked with undisguised fury. She was all bone and haughty disapproval. I tried to sink further in Peeta's bedspread, praying for the ability to become invisible. Never had I been more humiliated in my life.

"Peeta," his mom hissed. "Get your ass up off that floor."

Peeta scrambled to his feet, moving to stand between his mother and me. I was sure she could tell the movement was purposeful and I watched as her eyes narrowed further.

"You brought a girl home, you stupid boy." Her voice was absolutely terrifying. It made the hair on the back of my neck stand on end. "And without your father home, no less. Well, you clearly don't care if she sees what happens here when he's not around." Then she was gone, disappeared from sight with only the echo of her footsteps left behind.

Right away, Peeta was in action, hustling to the opposite end of the room to throw my shoes from the night before at me. "You need to get out of here. Now."

"What? Peeta?" I could scarcely breathe. I struggled to slide my feet into the leather boots.

Peeta didn't stop. He was already tugging at my arm to drag me towards the door. His movements were stunted and hurried. I never had seen him so frantic before.

"I could stay," I attempted feebly. "Maybe I could help."

"No!" Peeta said fiercely. "You have to go, Katniss!"

We had already made it to the downstairs foyer. His front door was in sight. I had no idea what was going on, but I could hear Peeta's mother rummaging for something nearby, even though I couldn't see her.

"What about my clothes?" I asked as we neared the door.

Peeta didn't even loosen his grip on my wrist. "I'll return them to you later. There's no time now."

"No time? But Peeta – "

We were at the front door. Peeta threw it open and shoved me outside. I stopped on his front step, turning to face him, prepared to demand an answer. Peeta stared at me, his face paler than powdered sugar. He looked so sad and desperate that it nearly broke my heart. He reached a hand out and caressed my cheek. "I'm sorry about this," he said quietly. "But you can't be here right now. I'll explain it to you later."

"Peeta," I whimpered pathetically. Movement from behind him made my eyes widen. Peeta's mother had clearly found what she was looking for. She stood menacingly in the background, a baseball bat clenched in her fist. The sight made every muscle in my body seize and I turned to Peeta with panicky eyes.

Peeta noticed my reaction and glanced over his shoulder. His entire body tensed when he saw his mom, but he whipped his head back to me with a new fire in his eyes. "Get out of here, Katniss," he told me, harshly. "Run!" And then, Peeta slammed the door in my face.

**Author's Notes: I know everyone wants to kill me for taking so long. My life has been incredibly busy these past few months. But hopefully this chapter makes up for it? Let me know what you think. Thanks to everyone who continues to read despite my long absences.**


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20

**Katniss POV**

I was pacing back and forth across the small space of my bedroom, thankful that my mother had left for work and Prim was staying at a friend's house for the weekend. It was a couple hours since I ran away from Peeta's house like a coward and I still hadn't heard from him. Each minute that passed without contact made my muscles pull tighter. I had no idea what I left him to deal with. Why did Peeta's mother have a bat? Did she _hit_ him with it? Unwanted images of Peeta's bloody corpse lying on the floor filled my head. Even though I knew I was being ridiculous, the picture made me shudder.

I dialed Peeta's number for the twenty-third time that day and growled when it went to voicemail. Frustrated, I hurled a towel that Prim left on the floor in her hurry to leave the house across the room. It landed unceremoniously on a lamp in the corner. If I didn't hear from Peeta within the next half hour, I was going to call the police.

Just as I was reaching for the phone again, there was a heavy knock on the front door. I ran to answer it, swinging the door open without checking who it was first. Pure and sweet relief washed over me as Peeta's face came to view, his floppy blond hair disheveled on his forehead. Without thinking, I flung myself at him, wrapping my arms tightly around his neck. Peeta cried out and shifted awkwardly under my attack, so I immediately stepped back, pulling him into my house and toward my bedroom.

"Are you okay?" I asked, after I had closed the door behind us. "I was so worried."

Peeta walked toward my bed. He was limping slightly and stepped with careful and contained movements before sitting gingerly on my mattress. He cringed as he scooted back to lean against the pillows.

"You're hurt," I said, rushing to him and kneeling before him to examine his face. If he hadn't moved so cautiously, I wouldn't have known he was hurt. There were no visible cuts or bruises anywhere on his face or arms.

"I'm sorry," Peeta began, his voice low and tempered. I knew he was trying to hold back the pain. "I should've answered when you called, but I didn't know what to say."

I wasn't angry that he ignored my calls. I still had to figure out what was wrong with him.

"Where does it hurt, Peeta?" I asked, quietly.

He hesitated before sighing and motioning to his side. I leaned forward and grabbed the hem of his shirt.

"I need to take this off so I can see," I told him.

He nodded and leaned forward slightly. I raised the shirt and winced when he groaned at the movement. Slowly, I got it over his head and placed it to the side before turning to look at his body. What I saw made me gasp. His entire torso was covered with bruises, all a deep shade of purple, blotchy and blackened at the edges.

"Oh, Peeta," I said, trying my hardest to fight the tears building in my eyes. I leaned forward and pressed a feather light kiss to the center of his chest, reassured when I heard him let out a content sigh. As softly as I could, my fingers traced each wound, watching Peeta's face carefully for signs of discomfort. His eyes were closed and he wore a frown, but he didn't react until my hands reached the side he had indicated earlier. His entire face scrunched together when my hand made contact and he sucked a harsh breath through his teeth.

"Did your mother do this to you?" I asked, disgust and anger saturating my voice. I already knew the answer and I was sure I had never hated anyone as much in my life. How could anyone find the audacity to hurt someone as kind and sweet as Peeta? And his own _mother_? I wanted to go back over there and give her some of her own medicine.

Peeta opened his eyes at my question. I'm sure he could read my thoughts on my face. "Yes," he whispered.

"And the last time you showed up at my house hurt, that was her too, wasn't it?"

"Yes."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Why didn't you tell me about your dad?"

"That's different," I argued. "My secret wasn't hurting me. I wasn't in danger on a daily basis."

"It's not like that," Peeta said.

"Are you _defending _her?" I asked, aghast.

"No! It's just…" Peeta lifted his hand to cover his face. "If I tell you, you have to promise you won't tell anyone. No one knows about this, okay?"

"What about your dad?"

Peeta gave a weak chuckle. "Especially not my dad. Just promise me."

I bit my lip. "I don't know if I can, Peeta. I mean, you're hurt and – "

"_Promise_, Katniss. Or else I'm not telling you anything."

I knew Peeta wasn't going to back down. And even though I thought that was extremely unfair and disagreed entirely, I said, "I promise."

Peeta took a few minutes to collect his thoughts. I allowed him this, grabbing his hand and running my thumb over his knuckles. It caused me pain to see him this hurt. My heart was beating erratically, squeezing in my chest. I held my breath when Peeta began to speak.

"This…thing…my mom does – "

"Hitting you."

Peeta cringed. "Yeah. She didn't used to. It only started after both my brothers had left the house. And even now she doesn't do it often. This is the worst it's even been. I think you being there sent her over the edge or something."

"So this is my fault?" I asked, my heart dropping. "She's mad because you let me sleep over?"

"No! God, no, Katniss. Never think that. This is _not_ your fault. And it has nothing to do with you sleeping over, okay?" Peeta squeezed my hand tightly.

"Why don't you tell your dad?"

"I can't," Peeta said, his eyes wide. "He's – that's the reason she beats me."

"What?" Now I was confused.

"Like I said, it started after my brothers left for college. My dad was visiting Ryder for the weekend. My mom didn't go with him because she didn't want to close the bakery. I was staying at a friend's house, but he got sick so I had to go home early. My mom didn't know and when I came home, I found her in bed with some other guy. She freaked out and after she kicked the guy out of the house, she hit me, screaming at me not to tell my dad."

Tears were appearing in the corner of Peeta's eyes and spilling over onto his cheek. I wiped them away gently with my thumb, bringing his hand to my mouth and kissing his palm, imploring him to continue.

"I could have fought back. I wasn't as big as I am now, but still, I could've easily fought back."

"Why didn't you?"

"My dad. If I fought back I would've had to explain why I did it and I couldn't. I couldn't do that to him, Katniss." The tears came heavier now. They started to affect his breathing. "He's so in love with her. I couldn't be the one to tell him what I saw. I couldn't break his heart like that. It would crush him. He doesn't deserve it."

Peeta was truly too nice for his own good, trying to protect his dad's feelings in sacrifice of his own wellbeing. I crawled on top of him, straddling his upper legs and carefully avoiding his injuries. I leaned forward and cradled both of his cheeks in the palms of my hands, forcing him to look at me.

"You are the best person I know, Peeta," I told him sincerely, grazing his lips with my own. "And I know you think what you're doing is in your dad's best interest, but he doesn't deserve to be lied to either. It may hurt him at first, but telling him is the best in the long term. Right now, the only person who is winning is that bitch."

Peeta smiled at that, kissing me again, longer and deeper than before. "She still cheats on him, you know. Every time he's out of town or away from the house for a while. Those are the only times she hits me. When I'm home when I'm not supposed to be or when I bring someone to the house while my dad is getting my brother from college."

Realization dawned on me. "You don't think she had someone over last night?" I said, horrified.

"Probably," Peeta grunted. "And I knew she would. It was stupid of me to bring you home. I just wasn't thinking."

"This isn't your fault either, Peeta. You know that right?"

"I know," he sighed. He was now rubbing circles into my lower back. It was really rather comfortable and I thought it was amazing how he was soothing me when I was supposed to be soothing him. I really wanted to lie down on him, but I knew he was in no condition to support my body weight.

"I just don't understand how your dad hasn't figured any of this out."

"He almost did once. It was why we moved here. She used to not be as discreet as she is now. She'd hit my face where everyone could see. People started questioning our home life. My dad asked me about it once. I told him they were pairing me against a bigger wrestler in practice who took things a bit too far. I don't think he believed me though. I think he thought I was getting bullied at school and was too embarrassed to tell him about it."

"You really need to tell him the truth, Peeta," I told him.

"I'll think about it," he conceded.

Just then, Peeta's phone started vibrating. I felt it against my leg. Peeta dug into his pocket to retrieve it, swiping at the screen to answer the call.

"Hey, Dad," he said, his eyes flitting away from my face. "Not right now…I'm not sure…Really? That sucks…Are you okay?… No, I understand. Just let me know when it clears up… Yeah, love you too. Bye." He hung up.

"What was that about?" I asked.

"My dad isn't coming back today. There's a big snowstorm up at Ryder's school and they're snowed in until it stops."

"Peeta…" I began, tensing at the thought of him going home to his mom.

"Don't worry. I'll be fine," he said, trailing his fingers down my cheek and neck to the collar of my shirt where he stopped, a smirk on his face.

"What?" I asked, confused about his sudden change of demeanor.

"You're still wearing my clothes," he said, his smirk growing.

I glanced down, confirming his statement. I hadn't even realized I ran home in his clothes. Suddenly, my face felt warm.

"It's still hot," Peeta said.

"Don't get all worked up," I said, my embarrassment flaring. "You're still injured, remember?"

"Yeah, yeah," he said, pulling me into one more kiss.

Peeta spent the rest of the afternoon at my house. We didn't do anything. Just talked and laughed and tried to focus on anything besides the heavy baggage we both carried and were now aware of. I was surprise neither of us ran. And while I was still furious and upset about what Peeta's mother did to him and my heart broke each and every time Peeta winced at the pain, like that morning, I had this strange sense of placidity, as if another barrier had been removed between Peeta and me, one we didn't know existed. It was still amazing to me how easy it was just to spend time with him.

In fact, I didn't realize how long we spent in my room. It wasn't long before I heard the front door opening, signaling my mom's return from her shift at the hospital. Peeta froze when he heard the noise. He was still bruised and battered, lying shirtless on my bed.

"It's just my mom," I told him, getting up and throwing a sweatshirt over Peeta's shirt. I didn't want to explain where I got the clothes from.

"I have to get out of here," Peeta said, trying to sit up with difficulty.

"You're not going anywhere," I said, pressing my hand to his shoulder. "I'm getting my mom to look at you."

"What? No! Katniss!"

"Peeta, you're hurt," I said. "Badly. My mother's a nurse. She needs to make sure everything's okay. I won't tell her what happened to you. I promised."

Peeta's eyebrows pulled together and his frown deepened, but he nodded once.

"I'll be right back." I scurried from the room and headed toward the kitchen where I found my mother seated at the table, rubbing one of her feet.

"Katniss," she said. "I didn't realize you were home."

I wondered if she even realized I didn't come home last night. "I need a favor."

My mom sat up straighter, looking somewhat eager. I never asked her for anything anymore. I knew she felt left out of my life, but I had taken care of myself for so long now, it was hard to trust her for help. "What is it?"

"My friend's here and he's hurt. I was wondering if you could take a look at him."

My mom immediately stood up, her face falling into serious lines, composing herself professionally. "How did he get injured?"

I panicked. I should have thought of a good cover story before I came to her. "Uh…wrestling." It was the first thing I thought of.

"Where is he now?"

"In my room," I said and then hesitated. I wondered how my mom would take me being alone in my room with a boy. It never happened before.

"Lead the way," she said, either ignoring or not thinking much of my previous statement.

I brought her to Peeta who was sitting up straighter than when I left him. Smartly, he had left his shirt off. It was enough of a hassle getting it off the first time. When he saw my mother behind me, he sucked in his cheeks slightly and ran his fingers through his hair. If his torso wasn't so bruised, it would have been cute.

I heard my mom gasp when she saw him, the same exact reaction I had earlier. After that, she was the epitome of calm and professionalism, her face showing no emotion.

"Hello, Mrs. Everdeen," Peeta spoke first. Even injured, Peeta never forgot his manners.

My mom sat next to him at the edge of bed. "Hello, Peeta. How are you feeling?"

I wondered how my mom knew his name. I was sure I hadn't mentioned it before.

"I've been better."

"Katniss told me that this was a wrestling injury?"

"Uh…yeah." Peeta's eyes quickly flicked toward me in question before returning to my mom. "A guy took it too far. It was my fault though. I didn't tap out."

"I didn't realize football season was over."

"It's – it's not," Peeta stuttered, looking flustered. "They just overlap a bit because the football team got so far in the postseason."

"I see."

I bit my lip. This was not going well at all. I just wanted my mother to examine him and leave, not question him as though he was on trial.

"Well, Peeta, I just need to take a closer look at these contusions to see if there is any internal bleeding or if anything has ruptured or has been broken. I apologize for any discomfort this may cause you."

"It's fine," Peeta said.

My mom moved her hands forward, tracing the bruises as I did earlier. When she reached his tender spot and Peeta took that all telling gasp of air, she spent a few minutes poking and prodding the area.

"Hurts." Peeta grunted through clenched teeth.

"Can you take a deep breath for me, Peeta?" my mother asked.

Peeta tried, but cried out half way through, letting the air he collected escape through his mouth. My mother frowned at this and my nails dug into the palms of my hands.

"And does it hurt when you breathe normally?"

"A little," Peeta admitted sheepishly.

My mother exhaled and withdrew her hands. "I believe one, possibly two of your ribs are fractured. But I can't be sure without x-rays. Are you sure I can't take you to the hospital."

"No," Peeta said quickly. "I mean, no thank you."

My mom pursed her lips but didn't argue. "Well, then, you need rest. Try not to move too much. Usually, fractured ribs take at least six weeks to heal properly. Ice the area for the first couple days and if you feel any pain you can simply take some ibuprofen. It's important that every hour you cough or take a deep breath to avoid contracting pneumonia or a collapse of your lung tissue. However, whatever you do, do not wrap your ribs. This would only be counterproductive."

I was actually surprised by how thorough my mother's knowledge actually was. Now I was extremely glad I insisted on letting her see Peeta's injuries. Collapsing of a lung seemed extremely serious and if that happened to Peeta… well, it better not happen to Peeta.

"Thanks so much, Mrs. Everdeen. I'll keep that in mind."

"You're very welcome, Peeta," my mom said, standing up. "Katniss, can I talk to you for a minute."

I followed my mom into the hall, afraid of what she had to say.

"Tell me the truth, Katniss. That was not a wrestling injury."

I gulped, apprehension firing my nerves. "It doesn't matter, Mom. Please. Just trust me. It's being taken care of. Just don't tell anyone about Peeta's injuries, okay?"

"I do trust you, Katniss, and if you tell me not to worry, I won't."

"Thanks, Mom," I said, smiling.

"Peeta's a sweet boy, honey. I'm happy for you."

"What are you talking about?"

My mom gave me a knowing smile, but ignored my question. "You should take him home now. He needs his rest."

"Right. Thanks again, Mom."

I watched her walk away before returning to Peeta, surprised to see his shirt back in place.

"I heard what she said," Peeta said quietly. "Thanks for keeping my secret."

I waved away his apology. Of all the things I had done in the past 48 hours, keeping his secret was probably the one thing I was least proud of. However, after keeping my secret from him, I didn't really think it was my place to share his.

"You're not taking me home, are you?" Peeta said.

"No," I said. I had been thinking about it all day and decided that there was absolutely no way I was allowing Peeta to return to his home until his father returned. However, I knew he couldn't stay at my house unless I told my mother the truth, which Peeta clearly forbade. And to solve this conundrum, I came up with the perfect solution. "No. I'm taking you someplace much better."


End file.
